I have been lucky to receive advice from a couple people and after understanding everything, I feel your confidence but feel good attitude may be key into relieving yourself from friend zone. I can relate to someone whose been stuck in the mess for a long couple years. But I believe there’s a possibility to set apart all the tension. And turn into the person that everyone likes being around. Basically everyone would want you to bring the people beside you together. One thing I noticed, being too serious, is probably not the key to getting out of it. Smile, be fun, confident, and most of all just build on yourself as days pass. If you aren’t there, they will miss you, though that’s not the point, they will realize you are a vital part of their life and make everything interesting. Just thought I would point it out, it’s possible this can even put you worse into the friend zone if the girl herself is just not at all interested, or just too stubborn, but it can be the other way around, I feel.
Maybe you can use Instant Shine plus other mixes and see how it works for you.
Hell I love the friend zone. In fact most of my friends are women. Ultimately the key to her seeing you both as a man and as a friend is your underlying attitude and outward persona: be manly, confident, a wee bit mysterious and maintain a subtle hint of sexual tension. If you overdo it, you’ll hose the friendship. If you nail it, she’ll fantasize about you at night and think of you as a “man in waiting.” So if the timing is right, you may become more than friends. The main problem with said approach is often she slowly falls in love with you and it screws up the friendship if you don’t feel the same way (you merely wanna tease her or fool around). My best lovers have been friends and I don’t like I start a relationship any other way.
Yes. The most important aspect of a relationship is sharing common values and goals–basically lifestyle compatibility. Chemistry is easy. Those other things are hard to get right. With a friend you know what you’re getting into and have already began investing your time and heart. I find it an easy and natural transition.
Very true Geg The mistiming or the no interest, I believe causes problems, sometimes ends in a positive way (both achieving a relationship), sometimes in a negative way. It must be many factors that play a role on this including the atmosphere or the circumstances both the persons are going through.
Yep, I can relate Definitely increases chances of self-happiness for both if everything works out well.
I was honestly starting to feel like I was one of the few men that would rather be friends first before jumping into something. Good to see other people share my thoughts.
There is no such thing as being put worse in the friend zone. If a woman enjoys your company but is not physically attracted to you, it is unlikely pheromones will change that. Embrace your friendship with this girl but do not put pressure on her to become physically attracted to you because that is not fair to her.
On the other hand, if a girl is physically attracted to you, I seriously doubt that instant shine would cause her to lose her attraction to you. Just wear pheromones suitable for your personality and select from the women who are physically attracted to you.
That is really how mating works for people. The girls are the ones that show interest in the guy and then the guy takes charge and acts on the interest. But if a guy tries to get involved with a girl that is not romantically interested in him, nothing good can ever come out of it.
Also, it’s not that she is “too stubborn.” She simply doesn’t want to be involved with you romantically. Dealing with this type of “rejection” is part of being a man. We all will experience the feeling of being attracted to a woman who doesn’t feel the same way back. A respectable man will suck it up and accept reality and find a woman who is attracted to him.
Plus having a friend is a good thing, even if nothing more becomes of it. Friends tend to support and stick with you much longer than flakey lovers and GFs.
Wow! I didn’t know there were so many guys that actually preferred being friends first! I thought I was the only one!:o
But yes, from my experience, being friends then lovers produces a better relationship. Usually a friend is someone who you have something in common with, and can be someone you can just kick it with. Now let’s suppose that person you “kick it with” is a girl. Ok, so you and her kick it for a while and then she realizes (courtesty of some A314 and A1 ) that she likes/loves you. And if I may borrow a quote from Transformers 2: “when 2 people have a lot in common, they’re generally amazing…in bed.” (that’s from the scene when same gets raped by that robot girl)
Obviously, sex shouldn’t be your main concern (not always anyway ) but it’s generally much easier to get along with a girl who is not just your girlfriend but also you’re close friend.
I suppose I should clarify, I have no problem with having a friendship with a woman if that’s all either of us want at the time…and then if feelings and attraction develop and develop mutually then great. But if I have romantic or sexual feelings for a woman and she just wants to be friends then I move on.
The idea isn’t cut and dry. Let’s just say I’m my sexiest with a girl I’m absolutely comfortable with. It is possible for that girl to be a girl I’m not friends with at first but that just doesn’t happen that often. The only oxymoron I find with the idea that I’d like to get to know a girl a friend basis at least on the surface at first is that I’ve never really had the chance to enjoy the company of a girl as a good friend.
It can go either way for me. An ideal is still an ideal but can be transformed at will according to the aspects found in said situation. The main result is that I don’t want society defining me in any sort of way whatsoever. We define our own lives through our own ascertained values and dreams that we hold dear to our souls.
The problem I’ve run into is that once a woman defines you as a friend two things happen, first you might as well be a eunuch since she’s not likely to see you as a guy or as a sexual being. One guy bragged to me about how some girl that was “friends” with him let him in the changing room at a store while she was trying on outfits and how she was practically naked in front of her. Poor guy didn’t realize that basically meant her comfort level around him was such that he was “one of the girls” for all he knows she probably thought he was gay. This makes it difficult at best to ever get OUT of the friend zone.
What makes it even more difficult still is the fact that being in the friend zone basically beta’s you. She’ll classify some men as potential partners to satisfy her sexual needs, and likely choose some pretty substandard men since she has a safety net, her “guy friend” who will satisfy her other needs not the least of which will be her need for emotional comfort when the “bad boy” she’s been sleeping with breaks her heart. Then even financial needs, I’ve had women that KNEW I had feelings for them borrow money from me only to find out later that she lied about the reason and it was in fact to buy a birthday gift for a guy that cheated on her a month earlier. Same “friend” didn’t so much as call on my birthday. The relationship is too one sided when you get friend zoned by a woman you’re interested in. My rule is unless you bring something to the table besides drama, an unwillingness to take advice and an inability to learn from bad relationships…then my belief is that I have enough friends already thank you.
Yeah, I see a few guys here now who want friends first and then into something more. Everyone’s different in their own views but I guess they want someone who shares the values, someone who is a close friend first and then a girlfriend or vice-versa, basically someone who is a friend as well as something more.
I am trying to get my thoughts that way as well. And I have no problem being a friend with a woman first at all, infact that’s what I prefer, but I would keep my option open, though I never have, being caught up in one person. Will see how it goes now on. Sounds like a win-win situation from your statement =p, atleast when considering your mental state
Yea Ol, if it happens, it’s wonderful man. It’s really great to have a friend where you can cherish the friendship and have it go into something more. Those are probably the ones that everyone is looking for when settling down or without conditions even.
like I said before, this “friendship” thing is SO AMERICAN. Most girls from other countries really don’t even want be your friends if she doesn’t have some interest in you, unless she was “forced” to spend some time with you (ie classmate, lab mate, mom’s friend, friend’s friend, co-worker, etc)
lmao! I’ve dated Eastern European women before. In fact I usually prefer them to American women. They tend to respond a lot more to traditional masculinity more than American women.
As for mindgames, sweety you know jack and shit, and your knowledge of jack is barely survey level. Fact I never lie to women. Any line or story I tell a woman is 100% true, and unlike a lot of men I never tell a woman I love her if I don’t. Fact I won’t even pursue sex with a woman if I have so much as the slightest concern about her feeling that there’s potential for more than there is. I’ve had plenty of women that I could have been with and didn’t simply because I knew they expected more from me than I was willing to give. I could easily have used and exploited that but I chose not to.
Re: me being single, you give away more than you intend to with your insults. You see unlike a most women and a lot of men, I don’t define myself by my relationship status. You as a woman have obviously bought into the notion that getting a woman to marry him is how a man should measure himself. As a woman, get over yourself I don’t define my value or success by you. The question isn’t why haven’t I gotten married, the question is why haven’t any women been worth it for me yet?
As for the PUA stuff, who should you be more mad at?, guys like me for using structured lines and routines that women like yourself claim “don’t work”, or the members of your own gender that prove that they really do work…night after night? Or better yet, be mad at the women that date abusive jerks one after the other while bemoaning their inability to find a “nice guy”…to a legitimate nice guy that’s nuts about them but is stuck in the friend zone because she doesn’t want to “risk ruining the friendship”. Or the women that advise guys to “just be yourself” when being yourself really means being shy and unassuming and totally ignored, we both know that the reason for advice like that isn’t for the benefit of the guy receiving it, it for the benefit of the women giving it, it allows the woman the luxury of convincing herself that she can’t be fooled by rehearsed lines or structured routines and that as a gender you’re so enlightened that as long as a guy is super nice and romantic and sincere that everything will fall into place. But that just ain’t so.
So be mad at those women, because every day somewhere one of them is creating a PUA…some of them might come at it with a very vindictive mentality and might actually enjoy breaking hearts. And some of them create a guy like me, that cuts through the bullshit, AVOIDS the mind games and is up front and honest about who he is and what he wants…you should hope that a mans broken heart results in the latter.
You could seek out undesirable women as friends if you need to remove possible emotional complications. I find all types of relationships with women easier compared to men as they tend to be easier to talk to, see you as an emotional being and are less object/activity oriented when you hang. Plus they’re a lot easier one the eyes. Male friendships tend to revolve around “stuff,” e.g., getting drunk, racing bikes, picking up women, going fishing, competing with one another, etc.
Most of my female friends are Korean, Japanese and Vietnamese nationals. I don’t know any typical American women.
The mistiming or the no interest, I believe causes problems, sometimes ends in a positive way (both achieving a relationship), sometimes in a negative way. It must be many factors that play a role on this including the atmosphere or the circumstances both the persons are going through.
) that she likes/loves you. And if I may borrow a quote from Transformers 2: “when 2 people have a lot in common, they’re generally amazing…in bed.
) but it’s generally much easier to get along with a girl who is not just your girlfriend but also you’re close friend.