I’m pretty sure most people make this mistake at least once. I certainly did. what a painful and important lesson.
so true man
Not really. It’s more of a teen/young adult problem. I’m had lots of female friends that turned into lovers. Unfortunately, with only a few exceptions, after the relationship goes to hell, they usually don’t wanna be friends anymore. Fuck! In a few cases I would have rather keep her as a friend than as a short term lover and then cold turkey. Alas, such is life. Lots of pussy out there but very few true friends…
Spot on Perro,
Frigging SPOT ON!!!
definitely in agreement on this one… very painful and VERY important lesson, finally got me to wise up 
friend of mine stuck in that situation right now and refuses to take any advice people give him. pains me to see a friend in that situation, but at this point he’s basically an idiot for not figuring this out at his age (same as mine), and multiple occurrences of the same problem
I just realized i’m also in that situation 
How to get beyond it?
thanks
Wizzay, you have to distance yourself from her or cut her off completely so that you can get on with life without her. You cannot be dependent on any form of companionship she offers. Hopefully this would make her realize the error of her ways. However most of the time it won’t work out this way but, whatever because you’ll have realized that you are fine without her and can find any other girl out there by putting distance between the two of you. Do not get stuck on just one girl who is not your girlfriend because those girls will just eat up the attention and give nothing back. You have to be in the mindset that you are great and any girl would like you b/c they’d be crazy if they didn’t, so why bother wasting your time on one who won’t take you seriously? It’s perfectly okay to have girls that are friends, but it cannot progress to that level where you know you really like her but it will not develop into something more substantial. Being 17 you will have PLENTY of opportunities to meet other, better, prettier girls.
Does that include Hispanic women? I live near the U.S. border so most women here are Hispanic.
This would basically apply to all women. Women basically put guys into two groups, those who are doable/dateable and those who are just friends. This is why it’s important to move fairly fast once you meet a girl and make it known you are not there to be friends if that’s your intention. Once you are placed in that friends group, you’re pretty much screwed. This is why guys end up in the friend zone plight. Google ladder theory, and this will make more sense.
Thank you Rockaway for your advice! I’m not that bad in a situation, you see she sits next to me in every class, and I really like her, wish we could go beyond friendship but it probably wont work, but I don’t mind her being just friends, I mean, I still get busy with other girls so I don’t think its a problem ^^, what you told me was all alpha male talk. I realised I was a alpha male before I read about it .
I just tought there might be a way to get her to set a step beyond friendship, but probably isn’t. So i’ll just move on but with her in my life not out of it 
Thanks for the advice!
Could sexual pheromones be used as a safety to help prevent getting friend zoned?
Friends with benefits is a great place if you’re not lookin’ for a long term romance or commitment. Most guys are too possessive or emotionally immature for this to work but, if you can, you’ll enjoy the best of both worlds. Married women oft are looking for this type of arrangement. I used to call 'em fuk buddies but Friends with benefits is more PC.
Messing around with married women will get your car destroyed, ass kicked or even worse. Plus it is plain wrong.
I was merely making an observation, not enticing you to “sin.” Things are not as black and white as you idealists would like them to be. Believe me, most married women lookin’ to play usually don’t reveal their martial status until you’re fully emotionally invested. When I was young 'n dumb I actually dated a woman for 2 months before she told me she was married and her husband was due back after a long overseas deployment. Yeah, and he was really good with guns. However he usually just beat on her.
As I recall, 30% of children born in North America are not fathered by the woman’s husband. In the UK the percentage is even higher.
I’m stuck in the friend zone with a girl. I’ll reveal the details on a different day. For now, I’m unavailable so if she calls me, I’m busy taking care of errands. 
Relationships are painful. some people are just signposts to the person who is really for you. Like, the next person may have some of the wonderful qualities this girl had and, that your looking for. someone to complement you.
You really have to get out maybe book a lads holiday? sign up to the gym?just go have some protected fun!!!
In 6months you’ll be over this. there’s no better revenge than looking hot and getting on with your life. Ps, get out and meet some people at the sauna or the gym.
Kind regards
Well, it’s been my problem that guy friends who try to move our relationship from friends to lovers never ever handle the rejection well. They end up ruining the friendship themselves by acting petty and immature.
I’m not saying all guys do this, just the ones that I have been friends with who wanted more when I did not.
My personal definition of the dreaded “friend zone” and its perils:
The “friend zone” is a place you get sent to when she isn’t sexually/romantically into you.
Or worse yet, a place you get sent to after messing around/sleeping (read drunken hook up) with each other and you aren’t really her cup of tea.
If you are really attracted to a woman and wind up in her “friend zone” after expressing said attraction, do yourself, and her a huge favor and walk away from the relationship completely. Hanging around “hovering” and waiting for her to miraculously somehow change her mind is only going to bring you pain, and make you look very needy and weak. Like a puppy whimpering and begging for scraps.
Don’t do it..
You will simply sit miserably on the sidelines and watch her flirt with, and eventually date, and sleep with some guy other than you. You will erode your self esteem away, and end up in a blue funk. You will be labled as pathetic by all who witness this. You can blacklist yourself in other women’s eyes who see you doing this. Women who quite possibly would have been interested in you.
Once again, don’t do it..
You’ll actually get much more respect from yourself and her if you “ride off into the sunset”. It sends a message that you are a person of value, and respect yourself too much to be confined to the empty coldness of the “friend zone” Gulag. It also indicates that you won’t stand to be second best, or be offered some sort of consolation prize of “friendship” where you are expected to emasculate yourself and essentially be one of her girlfriends.
One important distinction here: being friends with a woman is ENTIRELY different that being in her “friend zone”.
You are just friends, plain and simple. It’s a casual, easy thing. There’s not the inner turmoil, and unspoken tension that goes with having declared intentions and desires ( or held them in unspoken - which I can never figure out why you would do that ) only to have been gently rejected and and cast down into the “friend zone”.
In short, it is no place you ever want to be. There are too many other women out there.
Actually it sends a message of “I’m immature and self-centered and, if I can’t have exactly what I want, up yours because I don’t give rat’s ass about your needs and desires, just mine.” You can’t force somebody to desire or love you. If she’s not into you that way, you read the signals wrong and it’s your mistake. Why compound it by proving once and for all you’re the spawn of Narcissus.
Sheesh, I love being in the"friend zone." Lovers are a dime a dozen but real friends–male or females–are rare and something to be cherished. Being friends is all about warmth, understanding and, dare I say it, agape love. I’d fly half way across the globe to help a friend in need. An old lover, well, she’s on her own!
ok so I see ideas to just walk away being fairly popular, and in the past that is certainly what I have done. however, I’d like to throw an alternative in.
this situation historically was always greeted with a “do you have this feeling too?” and it was a “no”, and i would say “ok”, and move on and cut all ties.
however, here is Perronec’s new remedy for the friend zone.
lets say you’ve known this girl for a while, and after months you finally start talking to her, and you become friendly, and you finally ask her out on a date(although you never say date) and you hang out, and its alot of fun, and you interpret her laughing at your jokes and being comfortable around you as a sign she wants to take it to the next level. you start to become emotionally invested, and you think maaaaybe she thinks the same way.
here is where my method kicks in. I think in theory we all know how to avoid the friend zone from the get go, but it can and will keep happening to some guys.
step 1: you just have to know
before you try the old “tell you i like you flat out” tactic, consider doing normal escalation, like touching. if you leave your hand there a little too long, does she pull it away? does she talk to you about other guys? if so, you are out of luck.
these 2 examples are huge tip-offs that she doesn’t think of you in that special way. There are others, but these will do. see this and KNOW its not happening. you need to immediately stop imagining your future with her and just in general stop investing so much time and energy into her.
Step 2: move on
go out and say “hi” to 5 girls in one day, start a conversation. look for qualities in other girls you like. you are going to find one. the idea that that first girl was ‘the one’ was wrong, so look around. from there meet other girls, and be more honest from the get go.
there you have it. the guide to shrugging off the friend zone. the best part is, this original girl can actually still be your real friend. you can bring her out to meet your friends, and look like a high status guy that has girls surrounding himself at all times. your friends will notice and think more highly of you(or maybe just pity themselves), but more important, other girls will DEFINITELY notice, and you will meet other better looking girls with ease.