Seriously… I don’t smile… very rarely, usually in response to humor. Nobody in my family does either. Oh sure, we give polite smiles… sometimes. You know, “British” type smiles. But we don’t go around beeming with a spring in our step. Is there something wrong with me? I guess you could say I’m a serious guy by nature, but I do laugh at jokes… I just don’t smile.
Is there a way a person can learn to smile, or is it just one of those things you cannot fake? I try to smile and it feels very, very wierd- the best I can pull off is a slight smile. My normal face isn’t a scowl or frown, but I guess it doesn’t look too cozy either. I just look sort-of “flat” most of the time. I got berated all the time as a kid for “not smiling”- well meaning teachers and so forth. Honestly I look like one of those typical Asian guys I see all the time at the dry cleaners or the coffee shops- they don’t seem to smile too much either. That’s what I’m giving off.
Daedelus, you just plaster the damn thing on your face and go. Yes,a fake smile feels very very weird, but amazingly with practice it becomes a real smile and doesn’t feel weird anymore. The very act of contracting the facial muscles into a smile, fake or not, releases endorphins.
It’s a strange thing that you can be happy and not look happy, but if you make the effort to look happy you can end up being happy. That’s why good salespeople are always smiling. Instant Shine don’t hurt either.
I guess I need to try a huge dose. 2x never makes me smile alot. At least I make alot of eye contact now, but the smiling bit is the hard part. I wouldn’t say I’m happy by nature, but “calm” is normal. I guess maybe I’m just a bit of a darker person by nature- just a touch, anyways. A bit of Clint Eastwood in there.
Oh my. Awesome is right. That in itself…with a grin or two oughta do it. As renny said just get out there and practice…it gets easier…and you might find ya kinda like it. Especially when ya start getting them back. It’s so much easier to connect and meet others, first, with a smile. Think of it as social lubricant. Did I just say that?
Here I can help…I’ll give ya some of mine.
Yes, I notice this in alot of people. I seem to be able to tell when people are doing “polite” fake smiles, and genuinely warm people. I go down to the tourist locations here in Florida and I see loads of fake smiles. It’s like you can feel how forced they are, maybe it’s a pheromone thing, who knows. Plus, they also act like total suckups, which is unusual because many people in Florida aren’t necesasrily “warm” people. It’s bizarre. In the back of my head I’m thinking “gee, that’s funny, you didn’t give me that look this morning when you pulled out of your driveway”.
Still, I need something besides eye contact to “connect” with people. I’ll work on the smiling thing.
I lived in England for several years too as a kid. The land of no smiling.
Not really talking about the polite fake smile, that’s just a facade to cover what they’re really thinking. I’m talking about a real fake smile. When you practice smiling think about something good from childhood-last day of school-Christmas morning-something like that. Umm, I think it used to be called method acting. You just need one good thing you can flash on when you smile.
My problem is even when I am “happy” and I feel like I am “smiling”- I am not. My “smile” is more an eye thing, I believe. The corners of my mouth tighten the faintest bit, and that’s it- that’s sort of how I am when I’m in a good mood. I laugh at jokes and occasionally smile when I see something I like, but it doesn’t stay on my face.
I’ll keep working on it, though. I feel like I’ve got a bit of a face like a cat, if you know what I mean- my face doesn’t betray alot of emotions either way and I’d probably make a great poker player. It could be I walk around feeling pretty serene most of the time, unmoved. Like a monk or something. Maybe that’s a bad thing. If I try to smile, it feels more like a smirk. Sly Stalone.
Well, if you grew up in the land of no smiling, then you will have had a hard time instinctively learning how to smile brightly.
It’s not really a pheromone thing, if you know how to spot a fake smile, you’re gonna spot a fake smile. Usually it’s too little, or too much in the eyes. It kinda made me cynical for a while once I saw all the ‘fake’ smiles people were giving me, but then I realized, hey they can’t be genuinely happy to see everyone that comes by, so I give them a break and try and put an actual smile on their face now.
What helps is thinking of a time when you were really happy, and remember how it felt to be right there in the middle of it. Then, while you’re starting to grin, look at the mirror and imagine how silly you look. That should probably put a bigger smile on your face, and it’ll feed back. Helps me now and then.
You can teach yourself to smile more. The key is to sort of bunch up your facial cheek muscles under your eyes and let them lift the corners of your mouth to the sides. A great relaxed expression is a serene, closed mouth smile like on the face of a Buddha statue. If you can arch an eyebrow too from time to time (I can’t ), you’ve got it made.
BTW, Nimoy ripped this one off a Jewish priestly blessing. Men aren’t suppossed to see it, as it ithe female aspect of God and it makes you go blind… or something (I’m not Jewish, just a Trek fan). It interesting how Nimoy made a poker faced, emotionless character so interesting… and even attractive (my mom was a Trekkie and loved Mr. Spock). I think there’s the taboo attraction here (lusting after something you “can’t have” because he’s too pure), a sort of opposite of the “bad boy” thing, plus he managed to show different “emotions” despite the confines of his role, by slightly altering the tone of his voice.
That “Buddha smile” thing is interesting. The moustache and goatee might have to go. Subtle facial expressions are sort of… uh… hidden. I’m sort of attached to it anyways.
Oh, and Eldros… I did get a laugh out of those, especially the first one! That movie was way over the top.
I can wiggle my ears. But my eyebrows seem to be stuck together. How on earth are certain people born with them detached and wriggling independently like caterpillars? When I try to raise just one they both go up and slantwise and I don’t look arch at all; rather I look like I’m about to have a toilet emergency.
Cute .
My face used to be broken like I was a professional botox user. But a year later, after I realized that I needed to improve myself, I can do a lot of things with my face .
I’ve got a very “young” face for my age. What I mean is that there aren’t many lines on it, for a 30 something. I look much younger than my age compared to my sun-worshipping peers- i get carded alot… , maybe mid 20’s. But at the same time, it’s got alot of gravity- I’m not baby faced. And I do have a bit of that “botox” thing going on.
a spray of IS to your wrists, sniff wrists, and try to smile as long as you can. eventually tons of serotonin will be released at your fake smile when your muscles start to cramp, and build up in your brain, causing happiness.
I used to do this a lot when I was down. Minus the IS because I didn’t know about it then. Just think of the Joker from batman, not the Dark Knight one, but the one that has the forced muscle contraction and is always smiling, even if he doesn’t want to.
Eventually it will put u in a good giddy mood like that.
I used to never smile either because I thought i had terrible smile, but a while back I would get stoned after work and sit in my room listen to music, and smile in front of a mirror for about an hour a day.A week ago I was hanging out with my cousin and some of his friends and he was just being himself joking around making people laugh, and one girl said to me “you know you have the nicest smile I have ever seen on a guy”
If i were you I would look a pics of people smiling and try determining what kinda of smile you have…excersise those muscles and youl see with time you don’t even have to think about it…hope this help bro
I’m a frequent smiler and do this one, the smile into the eyebrows every now and then. Another cool one is to extend the smile of the eyes into a mircowink, it is a kind of family tic, but people think it is supercute. I like guys who wink too, they are friendly and confident and the kind of guys you can have a laugh with.
Awesome is right. That in itself…with a grin or two oughta do it. As renny said just get out there and practice…it gets easier…and you might find ya kinda like it. Especially when ya start getting them back. It’s so much easier to connect and meet others, first, with a smile. Think of it as social lubricant. Did I just say that? 
), you’ve got it made.
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