Okay soooo I wanted to explain this problem that’s been plaguing my mind for a couple weeks.
I know this sounds very pathetic, but it is actually very painful for me… I’ve been single about a month now but I am painfully aware that I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, life is going fine without him… I’m an excellent student, and I enjoy time with my friends a little too much but I still want him.
The pathetic part is, we were only together about two weeks before he dumped me but out of all the relationships I’ve ever had, he was the one person who really made me feel special (especially in that short amount of time!) He took care of me, cooking me food, driving me anywhere and everywhere, gave me presents, showered me in so much affection, talked about the future, and made me feel so content. Then he called me on New Year’s Eve and said “he couldn’t be with me anymore” and appologized so many times for hurting me, etc… saying that he “couldn’t give me what I wanted”. I actually stayed calm over the phone despite being heartbroken and said “that’s fine, don’t worry you’re not upsetting me. did something happen? is there any reason?” and he just said he started thinking about it, realized it was becoming serious so fast and also thought that I was “in love with him” which I denied. He kept appologizing and I said, “don’t worry about it, it’s your decision. Happy New Year okay?” then he said he’d “always cherish me.” and then, “goodbye.”
We didn’t exactly end on bad terms but we haven’t spoken since. He works at my college as a chef and I’m petrified of running into him. I have been cooking my own meals this entire first week of school. I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve wanted to reverse a break-up but now I actually am. When I do see him, eventually, I want to fix this, or give it my best shot. But where do I start? I have no idea…
I know this Pheromones may not help me with this but I was hoping someone on this forum would know the right thing to say while I’m feeling like this. It can be about pheromones, or just living life in general (I’m only 20!) Just to clarify, I have moved on, and I’m still living my life but I do find myself missing him like crazy and I feel sick with my feelings. I haven’t said a word to him in a month. It’s been so long and I can’t believe how I still feel…
Sounds like you need a big ol’ hug! I think what might help you most is to spend some time with yourself, get to know YOU better. I empathize with you’re feelings and share them. Becoming one’s own best ally takes time, but the liberation to know that it is perfectly okay for you to feel the way you do and to understand that you CAN accept all that encompasses you, under any microscope, including your own… well that can be a breathe of fresh air if you want to be.
Hey June, (almost broke out in to the beatles song hey Jude lol lucky for you i refrained I have a terrible voice!)
First things first its not pathetic to have emotions, I would get the thought of you being pathetic because you feel something for someone out of your head. That being said after reading and re reading your post here I’ve been lead to believe that this guy wasn’t being up front with you about himself… after showing so much affection, attention and even the talk about the future with you its very odd to me that he was being honest in saying that he didn’t like how fast it was becoming serious and then blamed you for falling in love with him. I’m being blunt here but IMHO from what you wrote it would seem to me that he was playing you… I’ve seen things like this before (from past friends), who would then brag about their conquests… for them I think it was because deep down they felt inadequate so they would try to reject the girl before getting rejected. Now something else entirely could be going… its just odd that he would show so much interest only to break it off (especially on New Years Eve) only to blame it on you.
Its very normal to miss someone you felt so close too and who seemed to treat you so well, but (here is my dime store psychology at work) I would suggest confronting him just to let him know how you felt about the situation to gain some closure and help you to move on to bigger and MUCH better things (its can be hard I’ve been there but in the end it is totally worth it)!
You deserve to be treated WAY better then how he treated you just keep in mind that although he tried to push the “blame” onto you the problem most likely lies with him he is just either to much of a coward, or to dense to correctly identify it.
I hoped I helped out at least a little and didn’t come off as too harsh or anything anyways let me know how it goes and good luck
Well sounds like nothing in the long run was wrong. I envy you >.<
I’ve never gotten that close to someone in 2 weeks, but I do know what it’s like to love someone and want them like crazy…
I’d just stay upbeat. The reason he left you was because you were going to fast. Try to be his friend maybe? Show him that the two of you can just be friends.
I know when I dated my last guy he freaked out after a few months of us dating and didn’t want to be my boyfriend because the thought of us being serious and moving (what he considered fast) made him uneasy and he rejected me the first time I suggested a relationship. But when I told him I saw him mostly as a friend, as well as someone I could be intimate with he lightened up and asked me to go out a few days later.
You just need to show him you are a friend to him. Guys can’t stand it when they can’t have you. Being just a friend to him will make you seem less threatening because you’re not trying to pursue him. And who knows… it may or may not work.
I hope it does tho.
You’re right. Thinking back I had an ex who when we broke up it wasn’t my fault at all, but he blamed it on me and made up some lame excuse that he couldn’t date me over the summer because he didn’t wanna cheat on me. Now that was an obvious one…
If it sounds like a lame excuse then it prob was to cover up for something bigger. Sometimes guys mess things up even when they aren’t playing you… like if they’re weird in the head or are too hard on themselves. Idk this guy so I won’t make any accusations. But I wouldn’t worry about him. Psh… It’s usually guys like that, the charmers that you fall for in a few weeks, that you gotta watch out for.
You’re right, I haven’t run into him yet (mainly because I’m avoiding the cafeteria!) but I know I have to soon. I’m waiting patiently for androtics to restock so I can order Instant Sexiness B and Instant Shine. Aside from that, my plan is to walk into that cafeteria, smile, say hello and be on my way. We didn’t end on bad terms at all but we haven’t spoken since. I think it’s best that I show him that the break-up hasn’t affected me even though it has. Plus being friendly may push me in the direction of being his friend. I suppose I’ll see, and thank you for the empathy lol.
Just an update on my “situation” I’ve been feeling better over the past couple weeks and I realized that I can’t hide from the school cafeteria forever. I was looking cute today (or so many people told me) so I swallowed my pride and went to the cafeteria. I’m not sure Josh even noticed me because he had such a long line of customers. I wasn’t ready to order food from him (yet), so I went and got something from the salad bar, and coffee of course. I went to go pay and his mom was the cashier. Her face lit up when she saw me (big smile) and she told me I looked beautiful and asked how I was doing. I told her I was great just very busy. I paid and she didn’t even charge me for my coffee. Maybe Josh didn’t notice me but at least his mother seemed friendly enough! Maybe she’ll smack some sense into her son! You never know
That’s good that you finally made it in there. Hopefully you can get to the point where you can talk to him without feeling bad. Hang in there. It’s been several yrs for me with my ex trying to get over him, but eventually you realize that you can still like/love them and be positive and happy around them, even if they don’t wanna be with you
Yeah, I tend to look into who people are so much that I almost never fall for anyone that I know it can’t work out with. I don’t fall fast either so if I do somehow make a mistake I’m usually able to pull out fairly easilly
I want Instant Sexiness to come into stock so badly! I still haven’t placed an order from Androtics because I’m waiting for that particular product to come in, but I had plans to order Instant Sexiness A, Instant Shine, and CTTM 2 I just hope the stock updates soon!!!
As does CTTM2… or so I’ve heard