Little background..
Met someone (she loved the Ammo scent), we fell head over heels with each other…
1st April I got found guilty of an offence of Assault on a 17yr old close to where I work - which I never committed (perpetrator was in a red car and wore black trousers, court wouldn’t take into consideration my car is blue and I was wearing blue denim jeans). Ex believed me came to court, couldnt believe the descision as other friends and family. Carried on as normal.
4th April she has an argument with her son (15) as she wants me to move in with them - she basiclly ended up telling him Tough my house my rules".
11th April - UK social services go round to her’s and tell her that due to the nature of the crime - I am a risk to her son, and gave her an option stay with me & take her son OR dump me… So reluctantly we split.
they placed a no contact order on her - so she couldnt contact me and I couldnt her. (they also told her that I wasnt appealing but she was in the court so she knew I was)
11th July I win my appeal - Judge said that there was no way it was me as the description: different eye colour (perp. Brown / me. blue, perp had a beard - I didnt have one & accent) plus clothing and car. and upheld my appeal… That cost me ?3500 of which I dont get back & a perfectly good relationship…
Anyway.
11th July - I text ex to let her know I won - she was pleased for me.
As social services had not been informed yet I didnt bother contacting her until i had written confirmation it was all done with frm the courts.
Well that came so July 19th I ring her - we had a 20min chat (she did delete my number as she didnt know who was calling - think social told her to), asked her if she fancy going for a drink - and she said maybe. carried on chatting and left it with her.
2weeks pass I didnt hear anything, instead of trying again I thought check with social - They still hadnt been informed despite being in same building as court!!!
Friday I got an email from the social saying they just received notification and have now updated their records…
I waited abit and yesterday I text my ex about meeting up for a drink.
24hrs Later I got my reply… and she has agreed “I would meet for a drink but I wouldn’t want to get your hopes up if you know what I mean” I told her that I knew what she meant and that it would just be good to meet and catch up.
We are meeting for the first time in 4mths this Saturday at 8pm GMT, I made the mistake of picking the bar we went on our first date. she didnt say anything about that but just said it was fine ..
So Time and location is set - now all I need is the mood…
As I mentioned she loved the Ammo (x2) to the extent that the teddy i got her she rubbed over my neck and kept my t-shirt as it smelt of me…
Well I’ve Just placed an Order for:
“AMMUNITION” Cologne for Men - TO GO! (double strength)
“Instant Openness” TO GO!
“Instant Honesty” TO GO!
“Instant Gentleman” For Men To Go!
Firstly (not a lot people on here can do) I hope to god it comes before Saturday. (I’m In the UK)
Secondly: As its a re-unite, she says don’t get hopes up but of course I have (little steps and all that - why else would she agree to meet?) what combinations and application points of what I bought can I use to make her feel comfortable, relaxed etc.
Yep! If it’s not broke, don’t break it to fix it. Maybe add in some IH to see if she’d let slip out what she’s really thinking, OR if someone new has slipped into her life in the past 4 months.
Yes, you sound nervous. Get over it, or she’ll pick that up. Don’t give her the upper hand. When she shoves our something you consider as negative, ignore it. Don’t know too many people who accept a meeting who didn’t feel anything. Maybe she just wants to find out if she feels a vibe.
Whatever you do, have fun and be fun (INSTANT SHINE), and try not to think yourself out of the game before the game starts!! I wouldn’t even mention “US” or trying to get back together. Just be happy in THE MOMENT. You are THE PRIZE, TOO; and if she doesn’t see that, you’re probably better off!!!
I live in London and my package arrived in 3 days. I hope things work out for you. maybe P74 combined with IH can help you out. P74 gives you the ‘‘boyfriend vibe’’
Cheers…
well to me I think it went fantastic…
Met at 8pm
She looked beautiful. had her hair cut short, i did tell her how great it looked and admitted I was wrong (I though her hair was short enough wanted her to grow it.)
She talked and talked and that was fine as like i did when I was with her I listened.
I asked what she been upto etc how her sleep over with her friends daughter went how son got on with exam results etc.
Bout 9.30 we Sat outside so she could have a cig.
We sat there talking bout stuff and she bought up how social were etc, and at that point I asked for her hand (and she gave it) and held it and apologized, she said i didn’t have to nothing I did wrong, she didn’t pull her hand away and I played with her fingers stroking her hand with my thumb. Then i pulled back and went sorry what am I doing, she just carried on talking..
I walked her back to car and hugged her, held her in my arms for quite bit (10min?) thanking her for meeting me and for her support etc.
Then we left.
She txt to say she got home safe and I did the same and said ’ thank you for this evening x’ she replied with " You don’t have to thank me" (no emotion x?) I replied back saying I don’t have to thank her, text that i did replied “no you don’t!” So I just said " yeah i do so there "
so there we go…
Did not hear anything from her, so I text her weds (was going to wait til today but couldnt if you know what i mean) “how’s you? I enjoyed seeing you sat.
Was wondering would you like to meet up again?”
as i said that was wed’s and now it’s friday - and i have not heard a thing
Huh? Not understanding your post/question.
I was just being me… as I always am - no bells / whilstles trying to impress etc.
I guess after going through sheer hell that I wouldnt want to wish on anyone, and then ending up being Correctly acquitted of the charge, I kind of expected everything to fall back into place..
She has been put through hell through all of this.
Threats of having kid taken off her, people looking into her parenting,working and social life, endless meetings with social services - all brought on because “I” was falsely accused and found guilty of a crime I did not commit.
If it werent for me she would not have had to have been put through any of that.. that’s why I am sorry about it.
In the NEW AGE, NEVER BE THE FIRST TO ASK OR SAY “I LOVE YOU.” It’s been said time and time again. She has issues, and that has nothing to do with you. You should have let her be, and waited. Even if it meant forever. For some reason, women see you being the first to ask for more as weak. But if she has issues, you may NOT have messed it up. Don’t call or text. She’s already got you watching your phone. I hope you can sleep at night. “OH MY! I GOT A TEXT!!! I HOPE IT’S HER! I HOPE IT’S HER! DAMMIT! IT’S SALES PERSON FOR LIFE INSURANCE!!!”
"He who waits by the phone for a phone call that may never come, will have to jack off one million times before he realizes, “HEY! IT’S BEEN 10 YEARS, AND I’M OLD AND GRAY. SHE’S NOT GOING TO CALL. NEXT.”
Anyway, hang in there as best you can. And remember, the more you call and text, while she’s NOT responding, the deeper you will be a WUSSY in her eyes, once she figures it all out. Just saying.
What I don’t get is how am I meant to do that if she’s not in communication with me?
We don’t move in the same social circles, don’t have any mutual friends, the only time I would actually ‘bump’ into her us if I start going into the shop where she works (where we met) for my lunch.
I guess the only thing to do is just carry on as normal.
The ball is in her court. No amount of swinging your racket on your side of the court will accomplish anything, and lobbing more balls over will probably cause problems.
Are you thinking that if you contact her enough she will respond favorably? Are you thinking she forgot (if so, that says something). No, you’re just impatient.
I totally get what you’re saying, and I empathize. I’ve done the same a time or two. Yes, she may be conflicted. Yes, it’s easier for her to do nothing than to do something --but the odds say that she has to return the ball --the interest-- and that by pushing your case, you are only pushing her to take the other side.
A month isn’t very long on an adult scale. Several days is nothing. If she’s unsure, she’ll be happier to hear from you in a month or more, after she might be thinking she dropped the ball, and after her conflict has lessened.
Totally understand that. And I k now that not contacting her is right thing to do (as much as it sucks) and I know that constant contact pushes people away.
We was forced into splitting and No Contact from April to July as the social stated I was a threat to her aswell something she/we don’t understand how as she was sat the court with me and heard everything which only supported the fact I was telling the truth.
Since July I have contacted 4 times: the day I won to tell her; 2weeks after (20min phone call); month after that to arrange the meet; then my txt mid week so I have.
Like a midget doing the tango it’s small steps.
The other way to look at it is, it was only July I won my case, social only got notified by the cops/court of the result 2nd week in August so it is still quite raw.
She will resent getting your affection without doing anything to earn it. The resentment is already killing this relationship before it starts. Make her feel like she earned it and deserved it. Putting up with social - you have said she was doing you a favor, that frames it as an obligation she had to endure, when you were thanking her, this frames it as an obligation to you which she will resent. Instead, just say that it sucked they were getting in her way of seeing you, and you missed her, but don’t apologize. And ask yourself why did you miss her anyway? There are other hot girls, but what has this girl ever done for you? Do not make her feel she was ever obligated to see you or do things for you. If she does things for you, just because she wants to when given the right opportunities, and you do the same, then it starts to be a two-ways street.
She deleted you number and didn’t write it down? Because some government bureaucrat told her to? Lame.
I would not assign this woman much value at this point. That was the day she dumped you, and if she wants you back she’s got a lot to prove.
What you do is you plan out your social life, things you would like to do, places you would like to go, things to accomplish You have a life beyond her. Invite her to join you if she would like to do so. Give her maybe a slim chance to redeem herself for deleting your number. Slim. If she does not show, you invite someone else next time. Someone who is actually going to possibly invest some effort into the relationship. Someone who’s not going to delete you from their life when you take some heat, because they’ve put in some investment. Either she invests of her own volition, or you give someone else the opportunity.
The last woman I dated, I had some walls to paint for ex., I would say I have walls to paint, do you want to help me on this day?
Another day I want to plant bulbs for tulips. Another day I’m cooking jambalaya. Another day I’m doing some other thing. She doesn’t know how to make jambalaya? Neither to I. We are going to learn together. “We” will grow as we acquire new skills together. You lead, and she’s got to put in the effort to follow. Judge her attractiveness as a partner on her willingness to follow-up on Your Lead. You would not have invited a girl if you didn’t think she was smokin’ hot, but if she flakes on you, she’s the one who screwed up and acted unattractively.
If it was me, I’d give other women the opportunity to show some follow-up in parallel to her.
Start with only hot girls, and rank them on their effort to follow you lead. But you must lead.
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What, if anything, have you learned from this/your actions?