I can’t help but have an increasing feeling that I’m doing something wrong when I wear pheros. I feel as though I’m wearing a mask, that I’m not being wholly myself when I put them on. More and more I just feel that I’m being selfish, that I want others to notice me more and give me more attention, and I’m willing to give up my authenticity to have that. I don’t know if I can do this anymore, I feel like people I have met while wearing phero’s haven’t seen the real me, somehow, that I’ve given off a different air then what is natural to me and true to who I am. If I really love someone then how can I try to project an image of myself to them that isn’t really true? I have gotten results, both positive and negative, and I’m afraid that it’s only distorting my personal relationships. How do I know what is real and what is just a pheromone induced emotion?
The one thing that bothers me, is that on these boards I’ve never seen a post from someone who said that pheros helped them fall in love, that it helped initiate a relationship, that it worked out. But please, correct me if I am wrong, there’s probably some out there.
My issue is there is someone I know who I care about very much, who I think I might even be in love with. The whole time I’ve known her I’ve worn pheros, and I only want to be with her and be real with her, and I feel that wearing these products is hurting that, because I’m not being wholly genuine. I have a mask on that’s trying to conceal my faults and weaknesses, and how, if I love someone, can I really try to hide those? I am fearful because I don’t know what would happen if I just stopped wearing pheromones. I feel like just a liar, a fraud, and I wish I didn’t have to wear this shit. Am I that afraid of who I really am that I have to project a different person with pheromones? This is really an issue for me, I’m increasingly conflicted about what I’m doing. Has anyone else felt this?
In a way, yes I do feel some parts selfish when I do wear pheromones to expect some sort of attention or attraction, but I don’t do it just for myself. Pheromones are basically communication devices that require another party to see some sort of an effect and I saw plenty of instances where other people have benefited through a mixture of self-nonself objectives. Sometimes I may attend a party with the goal of meeting new people to talk to and may end up with new friendships or just a merrier atmosphere. Other times my plan is to make someone special feel good and not really have anything else in my agenda and it does just that.
I really have never seen myself as fake when wearing pheromones, but addressed the applications as challenges. Spritz on some IO and I try to make my goal to talk to many people as much as possible. Other times (and mostly a huge part of my interactions), I just carry on as my normal self with little or no deviations of behavior from this.
They say that congruence has a huge part in pheromones. While I do support congruency for one’s actions that can help bring out more hits, I don’t necessarily believe that one should act in a way that isn’t their normal character. Sure, pheromones may have pushed myself in many directions with many faces, but in the end I acted what I think is comfortable with myself.
I too care about someone very much and I too have worn only pheros the whole time I was around her. I don’t feel like a liar, a fraud, or a quack of some sort. Instead of masking my faults and weaknesses, pheromones have actually aided slow change of behavior that favors positive aspects.
If I were you (and you could totally reject this thought if you want to), I’d accept my weaknesses and faults as a person and make sure to change my thoughts or actions to make it less of a deal. Problems with starting convos? Workable. Confidence problems? Fixable. I’d also make sure to spend time with that special someone in just being ME and no pheromones.
Speaking of which, yesterday I spent some time with a person I liked for a long time. Random conversational blabbles about nothing, a couple of deep dark secrets here and there, increased sexual behaviors, happy mood state, and many other actions. MX297? The new ICM version 2? Instant Steve? IO+TuTH+IH+IS+A314 1.23A? What kind of mix was I wearing for that?!?
I wasn’t wearing anything actually and I was just being me. Let’s just say I started 2011 with a new girlfriend.
I know how you feel, but don’t we all wear masks as we go about our lives?
I mean, look at how much women spend on makeup? What about people that eat well and try to get a perfect body? Guys that manage to multiply the amount of girls they’ve really slept with by 4? I read somewhere that small beta-type frogs mimic the mating calls of the more dominant frogs…and then pounce on the female frogs when they come to check out “The hotties” xD.
I mean, we don’t exactly live in an honest world do we? Just look at how well companies market and advertise their products. I’m not trying to encourage you to keep on using pheromones, that’s your call. I just don’t think you should feel bad for using them. I just see it as replacing the ones i washed off in the shower and the ones i’m keeping trapped under my clothes.
Besides, you’re not completing changing who you are. You’re still you, just with an extra “touch”
You are reading to deep into it! Unless you are completely lying about yourself in conversations you are still being yourself.. I don’t think they feel bad when they pretty themselves up for hours to give themselves an advantage, or some fake titties. All the same crap I would not sweat it
The “real” you is a product of social conditioning.
As a child, you made a place for yourself within your family based on the constellation of significant others you found yourself surrounded by. Each had their own particular strengths, weaknesses, needs, and proclivities which you had to find some way to accommodate, using your own particular genetic toolset. By the time you were ready to leave home and go out and meet other people, you had a set of preconceptions about what kind of person you were, and how you were likely to fit in with others.
In most situations, when you meet someone new, the two of you immediately communicate all the basic information about who you have learned to be and how you have learned to interact. A kind of unconscious negotiation takes place as you each learn how to reinforce the others’ preconception of self. This is why people find it so hard to change; because they are unconsciously pushing everyone around them to treat them as they used to be, even as they are consciously struggling to become someone new.
Of course, there are some circumstances where you are treated in different and unexpected ways – initiation into a military organization, for example. You then find that your brain is flexible enough to adapt your old ways of thinking and behaving into a new type of persona that fits well into the new social circumstance.
If you could modify the way that people responded to you, then you would be able to become whatever it was that they were treating you as. In fact, you would have no choice. Social expectations exert such a profound and continuing influence on our perceptions, interpretations, and behaviors, that you might not even notice yourself becoming more confident, sociable, and fun-loving.
Most self-improvement tools begin from the inside out, and so take time to externalize. You have to struggle to overcome your imprinted social programming. Pheromones work in the opposite direction; they start by changing the way people respond to you, and then you learn to be that person. Just make sure you are using them to become someone that you want to be.
Lots of people have this dilemma ? I thought about it long and hard as well in the beginning. What I learned about pheromones over the years and what they actually do helped me decide.
Pheromones dont make you something your not. They dont make people love you ? They dont make people like you ? They are like any other tool we use to better ourselves and how we communicate. If pheromones alone were how we projected who we are then yes you would be wearing a mask. Its what you do while wearing them, your thoughts and actions that project who you are.
Every action you take in this world will evoke some emotional response in those around you. Its what separates humans from animals. There is nothing wrong with evoking emotion. Every single emotion and virtue that exists in man/women exists in you, they exist in all of us (good and bad). Pheromones just help communicate some of those virtues and emotions. They cant project what is not there. If you stay in line with your beliefs while wearing your pheromones then your authentic. However to try an improve you have to let go of who you are just a little or you will remain the same.
Let me ask you what have you projected to this girl while using pheromones that is untrue ?
How have they changed your character ?
Selfish ?? Wanting to be noticed and for others to be attentive to you is only selfish if you dont give the same to others. Have pheromones made you ignore others or not be attentive ? My guess is they have helped you open up and share yourself more. They didnt do it for you they helped you. You are still authentically you.
Your not wrong because that is not what pheromones do. Pheromones just open the door. You have to walk through that door. People dont fall in love with your pheromones they fall in love with you. Mate choice in humans is not totally instinctual like in animals. People fall in love with who you are not what you project. Pheromones just help us more comfortably communicate our emotions. They dont create those emotions.
My guess is that mask was there before you ever picked up a bottle of pheromones. No one likes to project there faults and weaknesses. We all try to mask them especially to those we dont know well and trust. Masks are simply fear. I found that mones actually help you take off that mask. I know it sounds backwards but its true. Like I mentioned before every emotion and virtue lives in each one of us. Pheromones have helped me comfortably release those emotions and virtues, to be more authentic.
Bravo I love this statement, I am really starting to hate the word congruent. It is misunderstood all the time. You really do not have to be congruent for pheromones to work. They will bring attention to you either way. Being congruent just increases hits it doesn’t say this is authentically me. Its what you do once that attention is brought to you that causes people to like you or not and pheromones have nothing to do with that.
Its up to you whether you continue to use them or not. You have to do what feels right for you to be authentic. Just keep in mind that its your actions that define your authenticity not the shirt you wear or the make up a girl uses or the messages we project.
You shouldn’t feel bad at all. Look, I buy the nicest trainers i can, not only because they look nice but they also draw attention. I like the compliments i receive by wearing them.
It’s my own concious decision to purchase them and not everyone will like them. It’s the same with mones. Nothing detracts from the fact that even when wearing mones ultimately it comes down to free will from the other person. Mones alone will not make a girl / boy fall in love with you.
As is often reported it’s 90% you, and 10% mones. They may influence in a sense of how others perceive you to be, just like girls wearing bright coloured lipstick to draw your attention towards their mouths and trigger off a sexual response within you.
Just like wearing the new trainers. To compliment them you will wear jeans that are fitted to them, to really show them off. Wearing mones only enhances what you already have. It’s no guarantee how reciprocal the other person being exposed to them will be. Even if they are partial to mones, life is all about putting on a different ‘mask’ in every situation to make things inevitably better for you as a person.
Without knowing anything about the woman you’re interested in, I can, given what’s considered the norms of our society make a few assumptions.
Based off of those assumptions I have a few questions.
Are her lips truly a glossy shade of red or some variant or does she wear lipstick?
Are her cheeks naturally rosy and flushed or does she apply blush?
Consider the texture of her hair, is it curly or straight, and is it naturally that way or does she style it with hair spray, mousse and gel?..for that matter is her hair it’s natural color or does she color it?
Do you realize that wearing heels creates the illusion that the legs are longer in relation to the body, and the lower legs longer in relation to the upper? (this is attractive because the leg to torso ratio and shin to thigh ratio’s are indicators of running speed {longer legs and shins from a biomechanical standpoint are more efficient at running which is essential for survival in a primitive society})
Both genders adorn themselves in ways to present themselves as genetically fit and thus attractive to the opposite sex.
It’s no more immoral than birds showcasing their feathers.
Here’s something to consider about inner conflict…I often meet self proclaimed “nice guys” that are very bitter and resentful of the fact that so many of the women they’re attracted to stick them in the friend zone and go out with “jerks”. These guys usually look shocked when I tell them to cut the shit and stop lying to themselves about being nice. See if they were truly nice, they’d buy gifts and do favors for women without any secret agenda of expecting romantic/sexual reciprocation…and they’d be as likely to make these nice guy gestures to women they weren’t attracted to. I’ve found this to rarely be the case. It’s usually the pretty girls that they’re nice to and they usually expect to be rewarded for it.
Do you do nice things for her? would you still be doing those things if you weren’t attracted to her? (be honest with yourself)
It may seem unrelated but I bring it up because depending on how you feel about yourself, and about the opposite sex in general almost ANYTHING you do or say can be considered as being fake or disingenuous. We may not always know how to act around the women we’re attracted to but we instinctively know that we should act differently toward them than we do hanging out with our buddies.
Now more directly to the pheromones. You are NOT wearing a mind control device. You’re wearing a sign…a billboard or a tv with a 30 second commercial that communicates that you possess attractive qualities that she might desire. However, if you don’t…she will stop paying attention to the commercial and ignore it as being “false advertising”. Conversely if the commercial gets her attention, and you turn out to actually have the qualities advertised, then even when she’s not watching the commercial, she’s still a loyal customer of the product being sold.
So whether or not she sticks around after you stop wearing mones depends on whether or not you’ve been backing up the message your mones have been sending out. I’d wager you have been because if not, she’d have disregarded the signal some time ago.
wow this is a great thread, I was using a cologne I bought at a sex toy party and started to research how it worked. that’s when I found out about pheromones. I ordered IO and IH, and received a free IS (thanks so much btw!!) I used them for the first time today and was nervous and feeling guilty about fooling people. I didn’t even spray myself 3 times and cluck like a chicken! haha, though I did reapply after a few hours. I feel a lot better about it after reading this thread. can’t say if i noticed any hits but I’ll try and be more observant so I can report.
Pheromones will definately affect initial impressions.
However, if you’re an a**hole that’s soon going to become evident to a potential partner. Similarly if you have a good connection, similar values, a good time together, etc., that too will become evident.
If you are concerned go without pheromones when with your friend for a while. I doubt much will change as she has already established a pretty firm idea of who you are.
I was wearing pheromones when I first met my present wife. She knows about my pheromone usage. Sometimes I wear them around her, sometimes I don’t. It doesn’t affect our relationship. I don’t always tell here what I’m going to be wearing, no more than I tell her what shirt I’m going to wear or what cologne I’ll put on.
I love this topic, as it brings up a question I have been pondering as well. Many of you argue that using 'mones to find our one true love (or many true loves ) could be compared to the general things we do to improve ourselves in order to make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex, and therefore it is as ethical as putting on a lipstick. Sure. What about workplace pheromone usage? How about wearing 'mones to an interview? Considering that social interactions and impressions play a very big role in these situations, I would say that the ethics of using ‘mones to get an advantage are somewhat questionnable. I’m curious what the mones users’ takes are on that.
I personally wouldn’t say that pheromone use is unethical. Some people were born with more than others, and some were born with “better smelling” pheromones than the rest of us. The knowledge, use, and “manipulation” of pheromones, in my opinion, is a level step, and exhibits your know how and adds a skill that wasn’t given to us at birth.
I apologize ahead of time if I seem sexist, or if I ignite some debates, but to back up my responses for pheromone use, lets look at women and what they do and use.
Naturally, they give off “scents” when they’re horny or during “mating time”; their pupils dilate (I find eyes very sexy), and their breasts enlarge.
Men…we…stare, and waste money on drinks.
Women use makeup and do things to enhance their physical appearance.
Men..we… that’s pretty much it; what you see is pretty much what you get.
Pheromones give us a step up. It makes it a more level (or competative, if you look at it that way) playing field.
Like jabez, moons are a tool, like a hammer, or hairgel. When used properly, they accomplish their tasks well. But when used improperly, they are harmful. A hammer used against another living being, the various hairstyles on Jersey Shore, or pheromones used to subject someone to what becomes an unethical use of them. Such as is the case of A1. Or putting on a lot of Instant Jerk to get in a fight. But for the most part mones can’t be used unethically because the person simply wasn’t being congruent with their signal, such as too much none and driving away women. Their INTENTIONS weren’t to do so. It all stems from their intentions…
