I have read many dating and relationship books including the John Gray books (Mars/Venus), a book by Randy Hulbert called “Love Is Not a Game” (and the book of his “mentor”, Harold Bessel’s “The Love Test”). I’m interested in NLP and transactional analysis, and study body language and vocal fluctuations. I consider myself reasonably knowledgeable about a number of topics, so I’m able to converse with a wide variety of people on a number of topics.
I am constantly seeking information for how to improve and transform my relationships, and I am currently at a point in my life where I feel the need for higher-quality, more rewarding relationships in my life. In short, I’m having somewhat of a difficult time meeting individuals of either gender that I want to develop deeper, better quality bonds with.
I am willing to accept that part of the “problem” may be my own approach and/or the selection of individuals that I persue as friends (I also am interested in deepening the bonds with my SO, but that’s another thread), and thus I’m interested in anything that could help me better indentify these people as “quality individuals” I want in my life.
I am looking for intelligent, dynamic, self-aware people who together, we can help build a desired life of compassion, excitement, learning, and personal development. But it seems most of the literature on the arts of persuit and persuasiveness are geared towards men. I would be very interested in “The Game” as written for a woman interested in attracting and retaining the type of people she wants. Sort of analogous to this “I went from being a shy bumpkin to dating 10s” type language they advertise the men’s e-books and so forth with, but in this case, my target advertising tagline would read something like:
Attract intelligent, dynamic, educated, sophisticated men and women for love, career advancement, or friendship.
I’ve found some of Deangelo’s stuff to be sorta “unisex” but the majority of what I’ve seen directed at women seem to be limited to rather lame articles in the “Women’s Magazines” genre.
I’ve noticed that of the Deangelo stuff I’ve reviewed a fair portion of it is directed toward “personal developement” with many of his guest authors/speakers actually being “motivational” types. not “how to get laid/score” types. Of course his stuff is oriented and marketed primarily toward men.
I’ve come ] that close to purchasing “The Game” on several occasions just out of curiousity. I wonder if I could modify the techniques therein to work on either gender? I do feel like a lot of those techniques are written based on generalized “male” / “female” behaviors and psychological patterns, burned into our species over millennia of evolution.
I’ve read David DeAngelo’s stuff, and like RBT says, most of it is a matter of overall personal development and mental training, than sleezy, cheesy pick-up techniques. Don’t get me wrong there are quite a few in there, but they don’t make up the bulk of the books themselves. I’ve also been reading a lot of personal development books that relate to success and business that my boss has been giving me. Interestingly enough, there’s a lot of overlap in the types of concepts discussed.
hi! in response to that thread: most women are already socially aware and extremely manipulative, [make up, way of standing/walking,body language,etc] so probably most people don’t feel like arming up a rhinoceros!=p
otherwise, if you still wish to be even deadlier, try the Rules, which is kind of like the equivalent of all Game material for men. You may also wish to peruse Dale Carnegie’s book: how to win friends and influence people.
Moreover, as for not attracting the right kind of people in your life, it may depend a lot on your non verbal communication?i have personally have had problem meeting new friends among the cute girls, since all of them assume that i’m flirting with them, and so their body language reflects that. which makes me kind of want to run away, since we’re in school. and they behave as if they’re flirting,aka, no real effort for discussion, asking questions, but rather staying in the same thread of conversation, and expecting me to lead , lead LEAD all the time, from saying hi, to starting a conversation,to choosing topics, and so on…Gods…it’s really tiring, especially when I wanted to make FRIENDS. anyways, which is why im trying those pheromones thing, in the hope of making them more “normal”.lol.