Freaky Polarized Hits at a Fetish Club: the good, the bad, and the awesome!
Last night (Saturday), I decided to go to an open house night at a fetish/BDSM club. I have no fetishes, but wanted to do something edgy, crazy, and off-the-wall. Something to sit back and smile about, come work on Monday. Especially considering that my good friends are all in relationships now, and nights out with them have become super-tame; seeing a comedy movie together is as wild as it gets.
So I requested Uber to go to the club, got dropped off at a gas station, then walked about 6 blocks to a warehouse-looking building. Paid cover and went inside. I didn’t drive 'cause I didn’t want anyone to see my car parked outside. Plus, I downed a few shots before heading out to take the edge off, since alcohol was prohibited there.
I dressed normally: just shorts and a T-shirt. Given what kind of place it was, it had no dress code. When prompted for what’s my fetish, I just told people I have a kissing fetish. (I get aroused by French kissing, despite being well into my 30’s, so I guess that’s sort of true.) But my main reason for saying it, is that it’s innocuous and believable, just enough to allow me to fit in, rather than come off as a “tourist”. And unlike many fetishes, completely 100% painless.
Before heading out, I put on the following.
A314: 2 sprays, 1 on each temple
TUTH: 2 sprays, 1 on each side of neck
Bouncers/security: the good
Demographics: Caucasian and African American, early 30’s
They turned out to be one of the most laid-back, yet professional bouncers I ever saw in a club. They actually smiled at me, answered all the questions I had, and even said to come see them if I run into any trouble. Given the fact that I was coming to a club as a single man, I was expecting them to have a field day with me, which had happened when I was in my early 20’s. So it turned out to be a nice mood-elevating start for the night, presumably thanks to the A314.
Men: the good
Demographics: mostly Caucasian, 30 thru 45
I spent very little time talking to the men, other than non-sexual small talk here or there. Despite my aggressive pheromone signature, they were cool and polite with me. I even had a few nice conversations, especially when wanting to take a break from approaching women. Gay men, if there were any, did not attempt to hit on me in any way whatsoever.
Most women: the bad
Demographics: Caucasian and African American, 30 thru 45
I found myself getting quite a bit of ghosting. Conversation openers resulted in a few minutes of stilted polite conversations, after which I knew to make a graceful exit. One lady brought a stuffed Playboy bunny toy in her purse, at which point she asked if I wanted to pet the bunny (a reference to a children’s book of the same name).
Still, for the most part, I was getting ghosted left and right. I thought that was odd, since 2 sprays of TUTH isn’t too much for my age. Later, I talked to one woman who appeared particularly friendly. I told her about my kissing fetish, which she liked, but having gotten rejected quite a few times before then, I was already hesitant to actually kiss her, even after she let me take a sip out of the pint whiskey bottle she snuck in.
Two women: the awesome
Demographics: Caucasian, 45-ish
After experiencing a rejection after rejection, I decided to cut my losses and leave. I went outside to a city bus top that doubled as a taxi/Uber stand. I saw the woman from earlier standing there, along with her friend. She looked at me, and shouted: “Kissing fetish!!!”, and pulled me into a hug. She reeked of tobacco and alcohol; I saw an unfinished bottle still hidden in her bra. She motioned her friend to join in on the hug, since it was windy outside.
Pleasantly shocked by the sudden turn of events, I decided to go big or go home! I leaned over and tried to kiss the first woman. She reacted very positively, and we started making out slowly and erotically. A few minutes later, her friend grabbed my head, turned me toward her, and started kissing me too. She was a little bit more enjoyable, because she must have taken a breath mint before leaving the club.
I got a little bolder and said: “You know, it’ll be more efficient if we do a threesome kiss?” One of them said: “Nope, we’re not heteroflexible like that. Those women are annoying as f_ck; pick a side already!” I agree with her, so I gave her a high-five in response, despite having lost out on a very sexy experience. They kissed me for another 5 minutes or so, until my Uber came. The driver gave me a thumbs-up after I got in his car. It happened so fast, that I forgot to ask for their phone numbers.
Closing thoughts
Well, the night turned out just like the thread title: the good, the bad, and the awesome. I’m still having trouble integrating the whole experience. And honestly, if it weren’t for the women at the bus stop, I’d consider the whole night a failure.
Questions? Comments? Thoughts?