more success with #1crush!
2 sprays MX274
10 mcg TAL
2 mcg p75
Jeans, white halter top, black leather pumps, brown leather jacket
So I called him out on his bullshit (ignoring me/neglecting me for about a week), we talked about it, I forgave him, and we moved on.
I got to meet his best friend ever who is visiting from out of town last night and he got to meet one of my best girl friends.
On the subway ride over, this drop dead gorgeous, tall, tan, insanely buff man with great hair sits next to me and smiles. I smile back and suddenly I’m all flustered and shy. I can see him trying to make eye contact with me and talk to me, but I can’t handle his hotness so I pretend like I’m not trying to look at him either. This nonsense goes on until his stop, he gets up and says “I absolutely love your shoes. You look fucking phenomenal. Seriously, Love it.” He keeps turning back around to look at me and smile and we both have this “Oh I wish I didn’t have to go yet” look- super longingly. It was the biggest ego boost ever. If I ever feel bad about my looks, I’m going to think about this hot man who clearly wanted to fuck me to no end.
Anyway, I hug his friend when he introduces me to him so that the friend gets a whiff of my products (and I also want to make a good impression). Our friends get along well, and it’s really great because you can tell that both of us are trying really hard to connect with each others’ besties (awwwwww)
So first chance he gets to pull me aside he apologizes again for his behavior (the majority of our little “tiff” was through texting, I’d prefer phone or in person, but when you’re in clinic all day it’s impossible to avoid). We have a real heart to heart about how he feels about me, tells me he knows I have guys lined up, and tells me how bad he feels about giving me the impression that he’s over me. I appreciated that he felt the need to confirm this with me as I definitely pulled back and had changed my mind about him a little bit. That talk put us right back to where we were and I was floating on cloud 9. We held hands as we walked down the street and I’ve never felt prouder in my life.
The drunker we get, the more affectionate and sexual he gets (I’m impressed bc I don’t initiate PDA, especially around friends because I hate being that annoyingly cute couple). He refers to me as his “lady”-- getting my attention by calling out “My lady!” I responded with “My man!” Somehow we talk about how bad we want each other and he looks right into my eyes and says, “We have the hottest sex ever. Like the best sex of my life, seriously.” !!!
At one point, we are flirting across the table or teasing each other or something cute, and we both lean in at the same time across the table to give each other a quick kiss and his friend says as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You two are ridiculous- you guys have crazy chemistry”
My gf had to go home and the rest of us went back to my house to smoke and listen to records. I pour us some shots and his friend says “This girl is fucking rad, why didn’t we party with you last night?” I say, “Ask him!” My boo says “I fucking Love this girl! but it was your first night in town, wanted to spend alone time with you.”
HE SAID HE LOVES ME! okay not for realsies but I’ll take it!!
and can I get a pat on the back for getting the friend to like me? We all know boys do whatever their guy friends say, so if his bestie thinks we are a great match- I’m IN.
When it was time for them to leave, the friend kept insisting that he stay, but he had clinic early this morning (I didn’t). The friend waited outside while my boo pushed me against the wall and we make out like crazy for a few minutes. Both totally wanting each other more than anything (it’s only been 2 weeks since we’ve seen each other) He finally leaves, texts me as soon as he gets home “miss youuuuuu”
I wake up to him calling me (he never calls) at 11 am saying he wants to come over, his shift is almost over. Oh how I Love half day Fridays!!!
I put on:
10 mcg Mol C
250 ng Enone
1 spray MX 300
I feel like enone is hitting me quicker and quicker with each time I use it. I worried that like other drugs, it would stop working before he got there so I put on another 250 ng enone seconds before he rang the bell. My crotch was EXPLODING.
We barely had the chance to say hi because our tongues and hands were on each before we could even get any words out. He picked me up, slammed me on my bed and we hot naughty hangover sober sex that was mind blowing. omg Can I please KEEP THIS ONE?!??!!?
He can last soooooo long and releases so much… stuff. ugh it’s the hottest thing ever. We fall asleep for an hour completely wrapped up in each other and I give him a present I brought back my trip ( a t shirt I thought would look hot on him). He totally loved it.
While fucked up last night, he asked me over and over and over again if I’d go to Ezoo with him tomorrow. It’s expensive and totally not my scene, but all his friends are going and they are having a big BBQ before. I recognized that a) I don’t want him doing drugs without me at a big festival b) I want to meet his friends c) he wants to show me off and d) I’ve been hoping he’d ask me to go this whole time and I preemptively already bought clothes for it. This morning when I said I’d see him tomorrow, he acted like he didn’t remember what I was talking about. FUCK. so I texted him “sooo you asked me a million times to go tomorrow but you seemed like you didn’t know what I was talk about- do you still want me to come?” no response. 3 hours later, he calls me (wow twice in one day? Maybe I scared the shit out of him) and says he is buying the tickets now and wants to make sure I still want to go.
so I would say we are on a track to being coupled up in no time. It’ll be 3 months in a little over a week. I have to be completely honest (when am I not?) that I’m totally losing my head over this guy. It is absolutely terrifying to like someone this much. and CP we talked about how my gf’s ex-boyfriend left her after 5 years to go make a baby with someone else 3 months later because he really wanted kids, and he said “I can’t relate to that, I can’t even imagine what that feels like” PHEW!
no but seriously, I think he’s perfect for me and I think we are perfect together. Maybe it isn’t worth the risk fucking it up to see traveling love bunny. I thought that maybe it would give him the push to say “no don’t go see this guy, I want to be your boyfriend” while reminding him that I have options. But I think he’s seen enough guys hit on me in front of him to realize that I do get to have my pick and I won’t put up with BS. I think this little tiff scared him into stepping up his game with me. Bringing up another guy could send the message that I’m not as into him as I am and make him angry jealous- not good jealous. I was thinking of saying something along the lines of:
“So, since you’re not my boyfriend I don’t feel like I have to ask for your permission, but I like you and respect you so I just wanna check in with you about something. I have a friend coming into town who I’ve been intimate with in the past, but we haven’t lived in the same town in a long time and probably never will. I’d like to see him and catch up with him, if that’s something you’re comfortable with.”
I imagine he’ll ask whether I plan on sleeping with him or if we have real feelings for each other. This is where it gets tricky. I’m so into #1 crush I don’t feel the drive/crushing feeling with traveling love bunny. But I have a very special place in my heart for him and I know that he’s struggling with a very close loved one who is dying. I think I could resist the temptation of sleeping with him if we saw each other, but I also just miss him and don’t know if I’ll get a chance to see him again for a very long time. We have been purely friends this whole time until May of this year.
Can anyone give me some feedback about what you think I should do about this? I have about 2 weeks until he gets into town.
Yes, I’m not sure if we will be able to be together in the next few years because we are both making huge decisions right now. and yes, he did mention that he would like to have kids someday. MOTHER FUCKER. I guess I’m secretly in denial about this one, because he’s so young that maybe he doesn’t realize the extent of his feelings. I also recognize that a perfect match doesn’t come around often and this might be the one thing I have to budge on. It’s not like I would be an awful mother or that I’d hate my children (the opposite), my main fear for having children is that they would take all my love/energy and there wouldn’t be enough to go around to my other passions, mostly the love of my life. But if children are the one thing I have to do to keep the love of my life-- I can see myself doing it as long as EVERYTHING else I want is there. Let’s cross that battle after I get him to be my BF and we are planning a future together.