I just received this email from a friend of mine, (she´s blonde!) her boyfriend thought it was a great laugh! My sons also thought it was hilarious!!!
Anyone know a joke I can send her so she (and I!) can have a good laugh back at them?
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can´t figure on how to get started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is supposed to be when its finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it´s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows himwhere she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then he turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we are not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”
He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let´s have a nice cup of tea, and then,…” he sighed…“Let´s put all the Frosties back into the box”.
2007 most impressive screensaversmyscreensavers.info
i got two
A man and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel. Their double room reservation has been messed up and instead they are given an attic room with 2 single beds and there is a raised beam on the floor between the beds which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes. When they go to bed the husband switches the light off and says to his wife “how about a bit of nookie then?” she agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark and painfully stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her shout in pain and comforts her by saying “oh diddums did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie, come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you” She lies next to him in bed and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed and stubs here toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her shout with pain again her husband says “ Jesus can’t you pick your bloody feet up."!!!
An old man aged 90 gets married to a young girl aged 20 and goes to his doctor for viagra. The doctor says ‘‘sorry but giving a man aged 90 viagra can be dangerous’’. The old man pleads and begs for viagra, after a while the doctor gives in and states though it can only be taken under strict guide lines and only for five days. The doctor says take ‘‘half a dose ,skip a day, half a dose skip a day until the fifth day’’. The old man does this for the five days, when his wife rings the doctor and says ‘‘he’s dead’’. The doctor said ‘‘I knew if I gave him viagra it would kill him’’, his wife said ,'‘no it wasn’t the viagra that killed him ,it was all that dammed skipping’.
(btw, incase your not native english speaking, skipping is both to not do somthing you should have done, but its also: http://www.illustrators.co.za/metcalfe/skipping.GIF )
btw, a friend just sent me a blond joke after i sent yours to him ^^
A blind guy feels his way into a bar unaware that it is a lesbian bar. He sits on a stall and orders his beer, and then says “Anybody want to hear a good blonde joke?” The barmaid replied. “You are obviously blind so you better know, I’m blonde six foot three and I’m a judo champion, the bouncer is a blonde too, she is six foot three and 280lbs, and is a karate champion, sitting directly behind you are three of the biggest and toughest women wrestlers you could find, and they are all blondes to. Do you still want to tell your blonde joke?”
The blind man replied, “No, not if I have got to explain it five times!”
