Many of my friends are in LTR, a couple are out of state for the coming months, which makes me stand by myself as the sole man who wants to go meet girls at the bar. Occasionally another friend or two comes out with me.
What is your experience on going out alone? Advice? I’ve done it a couple times, but left the bar after one drink
Advice: stay after your first drink and initiate conversations . If some women around find you attractive or charismatic, be advised that ladies tend to get a serious ‘why is he talking to her and not me’ reaction. So pretty soon, you’ll have a chance to talk with a few competing ladies.
Might be an age thing? OK, I was paired-up from my mid 30s through much of my 40s but since then and particularly since taking-up pheros, I’ve done much better without a wingman than I ever did with - although the times I did were mainly back in my teens/twenties early 30s.
I found that I can do wonders on Latin dance nights in dive bars. On those nights, they almost always do a quick lesson before opening the dance floor to all. You rotate partners, and get to meet many women in a short time and break the touch barrier by default. (You are, after all, dancing together.) I have enough dance experience that women are happy to have a partner who’s good at salsa and doesn’t try to get too close.
When open dancing starts, if I see two women dancing together and want to dance with one of them, I simply ask a single guy close to me in age to “wingman me”. Most guys happily agree, and the ones who decline are polite about it. That, or wait for the next song to start, then approach the woman I like.
Mobocaster is right: it is an age thing. While going to a bar alone in your 20’s is a social felony, doing so in your 30’s is an infraction at most. Especially in downtown areas with tons of office jobs. You can easily say you got held up at work late, and want to relieve the stress with drinks, music, and dancing, before heading home for the night. Latin dancing encourages mingling by design; the only catch is that a woman dancing with you doesn’t equal romantic or sexual interest. You can always escalate to find out, but it’s not like the usual bar pickups.