What the hell is wrong with me?

Lounge
1

Ok. Ive always been social. I can usually hide my shyness with my appearance. Ive always been apart of the popular crowd, even tho i never lead it. Ive always been kinda cool, calm, in (highschool aka socialschool) i was apart of the “in crowd” --til this day i have no idea how i do it. because in reality, im not very good in large groups. makes no sense. also, unlike my fellow classmates, i didnt act stuck up, i could hang out with the nerds, skaters, stoners, college kids, popular “sally from the valley” type of people. (you know crombe stylez) the hiphop heads, whomever. i think my shyness comes from my elementary/middle school days. I was a big time nerd, and dressed terrible. once i got into highschool, i started playing sports, got a job (to buy my own damn clothes and car) then things changed. but the shyness never did. I conduct classes for a living. yet im still a shy person LOL. How the hell does this work?

women–

i get lucky, ive been in a lot of mid term relationships. (they usually last a year) then things go sour because its not meant to be, we both know it at the beginning which is the sad part. im tired of every relationship being a fantasy, when reality hits, its over. I fee like Nick and Jessica Simpson. they have nothing in common, they just look good together. i mean seriously do they look like soulmates? hell no. they look like hollywood mates. thats pretty much what ive gone thru in my short life. im getting older now.

my past experiences in the L.A date scene–

Shy Girls-- I can usually pick them off easy, esp when they give me bold hints (they’re probably in hunt mode thats why), so they get fustrated and make the move-- they bore the hell out of me. and it goes sour quick. i cant stand girls with low self-esteems, they do nothing but make “assumptions’” about me because of their insecurities.

Confident girls --Very attracted to confident girls…but they intimidate me. sigh The only time I talk to them, is if they give me a clear sign…like smile from a distance. This is tough because Confident Girls usually dont make moves, they expect them. They also go straight after Alphas or their ideal look. now if I fall under that look. I get lucky. which is how ive gotten by so far with them.
Its a weak approach and I have no control in this interaction. dont like that feeling.

Eye Candy Confident girls-- here in Los Angeles, they usually have major issues or have been around the block or stripped or have done internet porn or some other extra dark secret because they didnt make it as a model or actress.

Cool Girls–Now this is the kinda girl I wanna meet, but it seems the majority, usually, if not always have Boyfriends. makes sense tho. but it comes a time you start to wonder…why cant i find a cool girl too?

A cool girl is a girl that is cute/pretty (doesnt have to be smoking hot) but is confident, and respects herself. she doesnt have a dark past, but can hang around a large group of men and keep them at bay. All the men sense she’s not a hoe, so they never go after her aggressively, they usually yield to her. but she keeps an even balance at the same time.
She also cares about what men like..their hobbies etc. and even if she doesnt like the same hobbies, atleast she KNOWS the name of your hobbies. something Eye Candy Girls could give a damn about.

You’d be surprised how tough it is. I dont know if its because im mature for my age, but I cant even find a girl to sit down and talk world politics with. and when I do. Shes like some kind of stuck up rich girl that is a neocon. or a nerdy geeky girl whos probably afraid of my appearnce, thus turning into the shy girl-- I JUST CANT FREAKIN WIN??? WHERE DID THIS CURSE COME FROM?

That is my dilemma.

finding the cool girl.:o

2

oh and another thing.

i keep attracting much older women. like in their 30’s. but obviously if they’re going after someone as young as myself…there has to be a problem. usually there is.

i recently went on a date with a 40 yr old. its getting scary.
i guess i kinda just set myself up. I think its time to be EXTREMELY picky from now on.

i’ll except a dry season if thats what it takes.

3

Here are a few thoughts in no particular order.
How are you going to know the ‘cool girl’ unless you get to know her first (like on a date)? I think it would make sense not to spend too much time with women who are not likely to make it in the long run. Being alone should be an OK choice if you’ve made your peace with yourself. Statistically, you’ve set the bar pretty high( a ‘cool girl’ who is unencumbered with a mate), so it makes sense that you are having a hard time trying to find one. So is everybody else. Hey, you could be in my predicament, hopelessly attracted to somebody who really might not be the best person for the job.

4

it’s not a curse, it’s a blessing. women are too fickle and emotional to be attached to. no different then a bank really, find one with an attractive teller, make your deposit and go on about your business.

5

Here’s my point of view. This is what I did, too, by the way, and it worked well.

Sit down and write down what you want in a woman as a list of adjectives. Label it “What I want”.

Then, next to it, write “What I Attract” and fill that list in, too.

Take a good long time coming up with these answers. Spend a couple days doing it, so you can really consider and figure all of them.

Then, spend a while just not thinking about your lists. three to seven days is good.

Once you’ve just had time to let it go, contemplate what you wrote down in both lists. Examine each list one at a time. Focus on patterns. I even rated each quality according to how often I found it, or wanted it. Then I put the qualities in order from most to least.

Give yourself some time to answer the question, “Why do I attract these qualities, and why do I want these other qualities?” Spend some time considering this. Days, even weeks. In the end, I realized an important point:

My conscious desires were out of synch with my subconscious desires.

So I had a list of my conscious desires (what I wanted) and my subconscious desires (what I attracted), and I set about re-writing my subconscious desires. I used meditation, hypnosis, subliminals and other methods to make these changes.

Now, I am dating a woman who fits what I want. Not perfectly; she’d be a pale skinned freckly natural redheaded woman on top of everything else if that was the case. But she’s got everything that really matters for making me happy. We communicate well, she’s smart as a whip, she’s got good self esteem, she enjoys playing racquetball with me. She’s also got the body I always wanted on a woman, and is quite the looker. She also deserves my respect, and is worth being treated like a lady.

This came about because I determined that my conscious mind wanted a much different set of things than my subconscious mind did. Once I overwrote that old subconscious programming, I got what I wanted.

If you’d like to know more about how to do this, send me a PM. I’ll be glad to help, if you’re interested.

6

To be honest I want my ex. She was that cool girl, but we fell off. Notice I didnt mention her in the above post. I tried my hardest to get over that. But she came to me, and as of right now, I wouldnt mind.

sucks tho. cause now all the seeds i planted at clubs seem to be calling. Why the hell does it work this way?

When you’re on a dry spell you have one, but when things start to flow, boy do they flow.

proof natural copulins work. LOL

It all went down hill after vegas…

7

Good serious dicussion going on here, but…

I can’t help but wonderwonder how many others here lost a tooth from high velocity laughter after reading this.

8

Except for the fact that the “what I attract,” list would have nothing on it, this sounds like a good idea.

Actually I seem to attract really dumb girls… what’s up with that?:confused:

9

is it possible they are dumb in the arena of what you know, but smart on other topics?
the problem with really intelligent/business attentive men is that the only one who is going to be on their level is someone who does what they do; reason being is that for men, there is less of a juggling and more of a focus on one thing. when your head has been in the area of expertise for so long, only people that are there can relate.
does that make sense?

10

“Wow, listening to that car salesman, it really must be a great time to buy a car!” “You’re supposed to CHANGE the oil?” “They have elections every four years?” “What’s an adjective?” “Don’t chickens mate by rubbing their necks together?”

-Quotes from girls I’ve dated recently.

11

Actually, I think many of them were just intellectually lazy… they didn’t want to have to think for themselves. I think I see why this is happening!

Intellectual laziness is pretty rampant in my generation. My students basically want me to give them the answers so they can memorize them and write them down on a quiz. But if I give a, “Compare and explain the difference,” or, “How does it apply here?” question, I get cries of it beeing too hard or unfair. Any of them could figure it out if they used their head for three seconds. Of course it isn’t everybody; at least a third of the class does fine.

Who knows? Maybe other generations are like that, too.

Eh, I’m rambling and complaining.

12

actually i find this very interesting…
i find most of my students could retain the basic chemicals found in cannabis, because they were genuinely interested… i conclude 1/3 of your class is eating the class up… the other part is taking it just to get to where their going. what do you thnk?

13

Yeah.. I find if I don’t have interest in a subject that bores me, then at times I can almost instantly feel stupid.

14

It’s a definate possibility, but the shame is, most chemistry majors I’ve had WEREN’T in the top third. Maybe this is the cause of dead-end careers and midlife crisies?

Maybe I should talk more about cannabis?

15

I’ve heard they even allow calculators in class now.

16

It is an old thread but I want to reply still .. This is my older experiences ..

I did not try to ‘find’, I enjoyed the company, talked the same and treated equally the tara reid or the jane next door. Cool or un-cool, they both earned my same attitude.

It is a risk I took putting myself out like that, but I took the lead. And yes I got the bad deals few times, but then I got the few good ones that dropped their shields, acted the same, and wanted to be with me as themselves .. Selection then takes its own natural way.

17

Ummmm… maybe someone should explain the concept of compound interest to them… there is an exponential payoff to wise investments (such as learning how to use your brain effectively)… so over time you see an ever widening gap in income, quality of life, social standing, career opportunities available to those who take their educations seriously and those who don’t… once you grasp the full implications of being a 21st century slave on the Big Daddy’s Digital Plantation … well, the attitudinal adjustment flows naturally from that perception…:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

18

wow this thread is still alive? :open_mouth:

ive been with my new girl since june hahhaha