What to use (do) to make my best friend for past 2 years be attracted to me? Read plz

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
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Hi guys, I needed help with this. For those of you who dont want to read the story, my question is how to make my best friend feel attracted to me? its been 2+ years and she told me she never had feelings for anyone?

Maybe she cant look at anyone that way due to her career?? (Please read story though to make ur answers more accurate, really would appreciate it!!) Ask any questions u would like, ill answer them surely :slight_smile:

It’s a long story, but i will shorten it to make you guys feel exactly whats happened between me n her.

(The story involves me (Sam, another guy Harry, and Jess (the girl)).

Me and Harry became close friends but he got to know Jess in college and since i was with Harry, I got to know Jess as well. Jess and Harry were best friends and Harry told me Jess liked me. I told him to drop the subject. But later i agreed okay you can try for me. Behind my back, Harry tried for himself. Me and Jess stopped talking for about 4 months because Harry would make us feel that me and her didn’t want to talk to each other. Me and Jess found out what Harry did with us and me and her became closer than ever. We were never this close to anyone else. Harry still bothered her saying she changed so she started talking to him for the hell of it( after asking me).

Things werent as good as before with me and jess but harry again lost her trust..and he made her choose between me n him. She chose me and she deciced that they both should stop takling and they did stop takling for about couple months. I started talking to Harry because he all of a sudden messaged me saying he regret what he did about a year ago. Anyways Jess and me still became very close again. Harry was jus on the side but Jess and Harry again started talking (because Harry would always be in college when Jess was). I finally told Jess how i felt. She said to give her time…

We discussed this again and she told me that though she was the closest to me than anyone else.. she never had feelings for anyonE! (My other friends couldn’t believe it because it always seemed as if we were sooo close…basically like bf gf kinda…(you know like best friends who understood so much..)

basically she told me she never in her life had feelings for anyone.. i asked her what if in the future she gets them ..will she tell me? she said yeahh but dont wait for me..because what if I dont get those feelings again?

i said okay but if we still have it in future we will tell the other person..

things went on the down from that time due to me and her misunderstanding..
and she started talking to harry again.. she became close to him.. until he lost her trust again and right before she lost her trust to him me n her talked our problem out..

so me n her are close again and what she told Harry was she probably wont be able to forgive him ever again.. and she considered him her best friend?

she told me before that she was the closest to me..she told me many times..and that she was never as close as me n her were at one point with any1 else.. but i do understand that when me n her werent talking for about 3 months due to mine and her misunderstanding..she became close to Harry..

So anyways what do u guys think i should do? I really have had strong feelings for her (even tho i told her i will try to get past it) and it feels as if she is kinda into her career right now and she is hurt by what Harry did again.. but we started seeing each other almost everyday in college now and we are getting close again…

2

Did you ever make a move? This sounds like a far deeper problem than just a chemical connection. Not only are you in the friend zone, how deep of a hole do you think you can dig in 2 years of time?

If she says that she is not into you, I don’t think pheromones can do much. She is so accustomed to your natural pheromone blend already and knows you on a much deeper and personal level than pheromones provide. However, I don’t think Instant Honesty, Instant Openness, Instant Female Magic can hurt your chances. Turn Up The Heat can probably swing in your favor or against your goals depending on how she interprets it.

With that said, remember that artificial pheromones are intended to supplement your game. You have a lot of knots to untangle on your own.

3

Well I’ll leave the pheromone advice to those who know this stuff a LOT better than I do. But my advice on what to do, because I was there once is shift your focus. You gotta change her perception of you. Look at it realistically you’ve been the nice guy, Harry has betrayed her trust no less than THREE times, his third chance coming AFTER she knew how you felt about her. Can you honestly believe she wants a nice sensitive guy?

I used to be like you man, I was totally in luuuuv with this girl and I put her up on a pedestal. I wound up being an emotional tampon that she used to dump her sad stories on me every time the same asshole guy broke her heart and I kept thinking to myself that if I keep being the rock, the shoulder for her to cry on, that she’d wake up and realize that I’m the right guy for her…that shit only happens in movies bro and I got a lotta scars along the way to realizing that.
Let go of expectations. The more you wear your heart on your sleeve the worse your chances will be. You’ve become the nice guy best friend etc and worse yet in already spilling your guts you’ve probably become a guy she pity’s. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be an ass but this is close to home for me having been there just like you.

Work on yourself bro. BECOME a better man, hit the gym, upgrade your wardrobe, if you’re not working, get a job…if you are working try to get a raise, promotion, better job etc. just focus on yourself and your life. And most importantly, go out with some other women. Nothing serious if you don’t want to, just meet some new women, have some fun and enjoy yourself. While we’re at it, if both her and Harry are in school why aren’t you? if it’s a money issue try community college, or apply for a grant, loan etc.
When you decide to make your big play again (if you do, self improvement has a way of changing perceptions and she might not seem so special later on) She’ll be impressed with the new you, a better, more confident you…U2.0. But do NOT let her think you’re doing all of this for her. You gotta do it for you, and it will be up to you if you decide to let her benefit from being with such an awesome guy. Be relaxed, don’t chase her, let her come to you, but show her that you’re the one worth chasing.

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do you have any suggestions hco? how to untangle it? (shes the type of girl who doesnt really view any1 in that sense of “more than a friend” i guess best friend is the most she goes to..)..

any ideas?

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thanks for the boost rad, but bro it seems as if shes the type of girl who doesnt really look at anyone as more than a friend.. but yes in the beginning this Harry guy was jus messing around with her head..telling her things she wanted to hear at the same time (he would get mad at her on purpose..and then act nice the next day..he tried to make moves on her..) (she told me she trusts me more than herself..i guess ur right in that sense of what i was afraid of believing..i feel like having a talk with her..asking her what happ wit her n harry.. and why did she never understand who really cared about her..and try to make her understand..?) think thats a start or is that too soft?

btw we all are in the same college..its a big college but we all are @ the same college.. my style is much better than Harry.. but idk what it really is..?

any ideas how to get her to view me diff?

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RADMAN gave really good advice. I’ve gotten stuck in the friend zone pretty hard once. She ended up becoming exclusive with another guy while we were still half ass dating. What RADMAN said is exactly what you need to do.

As far as this particular situation, my advice is to put all your eggs in one basket. As far as friend zones go, I find that they are usually stagnant because the “nice guy” is afraid to lose the girl as a friend. You have to tell her you have feelings for her. You cannot be afraid of things becoming awkward nor can you fear losing her as a friend. Can’t win money at a casino without placing a bet, if you will. If it works, the payout will be phenomenal. If it doesn’t? She will know how you feel and know your intentions. She will know exactly what to do if she ever comes around to liking you as more than a friend. Even if you let her know your feelings and they are not mutual, she will not throw out a 2 year friendship like that.

For future endeavors I suggest you change up your approach. You must make the girl need you more than you need her. If you’re “talking” to a girl but are not exclusive? Talk to several. Gives you the upper hand. Lose the first girl? You have a net to fall back on.

Of course it is easier to say it than do it. I wish you luck on this and hope you have more balls than me and approach the root of the problem head on.

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one more thing, harry has tried to make moves on her..and everytime he does she tells him to never do it again..by movesi mean he tried to “touch her hand” saying its soo soft.. and one time he tried to take advantage of her..when she was crying because i stopped talking to her (due to the fact that she was talking to harry).. so harry hugged her but then tried to kiss her… (she said every1 jus needs an excuse but harry promised her he wouldnt do it again)..

thats the type of person harry is..she seems like a diff type of girl..she tells me she got scared one time when harry came to her house when she was alone..because she was sick..

she is very sensitive.. soo know any tips that would help? or would a certain kind of pheromone help? or change my behavior? how so?

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thank you hco and rad and everyone else..please keep the advices coming and continue reading my posts if possible!

would really like experienced people or even people who have seen sometin like this happen..

again, i have told her my feelings before, but she said at that time she had feelings for no1..

so she knows but then again i had told her i wud try to not wait..so i will be bringing this up again..referrin to what she talked with harry because i would like to know whats really going on in her mind..? how does that sound?

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I don’t know the girl but this doesn’t sound good at all, she sounds like a “broken wing” and no offense but you seem to have a “white knight” complex. It sounds like she has guys compartmentalized and she doesn’t think they can cross over.
That’s why Harry can keep being the boyfriend/sex guy even though she knows she can never truly trust him, and you are in the safe nice guy best friend zone. You’ve been trying the sensitive guy card and it’s not working, it hasn’t worked and it’s not going to work. I don’t suggest you turn into an asshole but you have to show her that one man can fill both roles. So start being relaxed, confident, and have some fuckin fun for cryin out loud. Most of all let go of expectations and don’t even pursue her. Let her come to you when she realizes that there’s more to you than the sensitive guy, and she won’t feel pressured or smothered into doing it.
Also she needs to know she’s not the center of your universe, make plans, get out of the house and be unavailable some times. When she calls or tries to contact you and you’re not there because you went to a party or can’t talk because you’re on a date with somebody else she’ll be confronted with the possibility of losing you. She’ll realize that you might not always be there as a safety net.

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very true rad, shes not really that type of a girl where she goes to harry for sex..physical..but he has annoyed her and feelas as if sometimes she was scared of him but yet she went to talk to him.. (shes never kissed lol…) jus saying.. but everything else ur saying seems very true..

should i jus do that? or get closer to her..and then start being unavailable? and pheromones on top of this??

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^^^ This. Let her know your feelings FULLY and then drop it.

Let me ask you one question. If she becomes attracted to both you and Harry, who do you think she will ask out on a date? The guy that made the move.

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you all go to the same school, so I say just start going out and having fun. Do the stuff I mentioned in my first post and focus on you. And get this…not to sound like a dick but focusing on you should be more important even than her and she has to know that. Don’t TELL her that but, unless it’s an emergency don’t change your plans for her.
I don’t know much about mones, I’m still a relative beginner myself but I’d wager that instant honesty and instant openness would be redundant since she’s already comfortable with you, too comfortable in fact. I’d say a spray of tuth or ammo to get a bit more sexual energy and either A314 or Instant Gentleman to come off as a more mature strong and masculine man. From just todays experience personally A314+instant shine is like fucking confidence in a bottle!

Use those along with shifting your focus from her to yourself and either the girl will see you in a new light, or you might just see her in one.

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thanks rad, just read my 2 posts before nco’s and gimme ur final advice on that if possible..thanks alot for all the advices broo

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I think he already did, if I read right he made his feelings known after the second breakup with the other guy.

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yes rad, one last thing, i did, no it wasnt a breakup… they never went out..she has never went out with anyone in her life till this date BRO.. i was thinkin about talking to her about whats in her head about all this and including harry and then telling her how ifeel and making her understand wouldnt she want to be with someone who actually cares and not just says it? .. start off like that.. get close and all with her and then start being more confident??

what do u think rad? or hco?

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ok I was confused, the way your post was written I thought her and Harry became a couple like three times already.

Yeah, I think just lay your cards on the table, if she’s up for it great, if not be relaxed about it. Just be cool admit you’re disappointed but tell her you can still be friends and give her a friendly hug, then work on you, think about any and every area of your life you’d like to improve on that doesn’t involve her and start working on it…including your social life, get some new friends, hopefully some that are a little more high class than Harry. Meet some women and have some fun, don’t become a player if it’s not in you, but there’s nothing wrong with having a nice circle of friendly attractive women in your life that you spend time with. Her going to the same school and all, she’ll see you becoming a better man right before her eyes. Best of luck brother. Keep us posted…and take my word on the A314+Shine combo!

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Great Thanks Rad!, YOU SEE CHANCES THAT IT MAY WORK according to ur advice..?? i know its tough..this seems similar to other stories but completely diff in the type of girl she is..very reserved..not intersted in being with anyone “more than a friend”…

lol very complicated story but i will take ur advice and u see any possibilities of it working since this is a somewhat diff situation if u know what i mean lol..

be completely honest :slight_smile:)

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Well How about a little girl perspective here LOL

Rad’s advice is really good. Focus more on you. If its meant to happen it will and if its not what your have learned and worked on in yourself can not be taken away and will only benefit you.

I do want to point out though that she has made it clear she wants to be friends and You and Harry fighting or bickering over who gets to be the best friend is sort of grade school. That’s enough to turn any women off or open the door for them to start playing you. Not a good way to start out. You made Sam and Harry’s problem into Jess’s problem

It also seems since now its her problem as well that she is ping ponging between the two of you. Make it clear you are not playing games. If she wants to be friends with the both of you fine but your not gonna just be her friend when she is not busy being friends with Harry or Vice versa.

So you have some repairing to do.

My suggestions would be…

First do what Rad said and work on improving yourself. Not that your not great the way you are but I have always believed self improvement should be a life long process.

Next stop bugging her about Harry, Screw him let the relationship be about you and her and not the three of you. If she brings him up just tell her you would rather focus on your friendship or relationship and not on her and Harry. He matters very little in your relationship. You say he has already proven himself to be a ass and she wont forget that. By trying to find out what she is thinking of him or about him your just lowering your own value. Take the attitude he is no competition to you and if she cant see that its her loss.

Its ok to let her know your interested in being more the just friends but at the same time let her know that your not gonna sit around pining for her either. You will be her friend still but if she cant make up her mind you are going out and having some fun like Rad suggested. Make sure she knows it to.

Phermonally I suggest AMMO and IH but dont over do it.

I also suggest you look into body language, How to read it and how to project it. There are a lot of free sites online that can help with that just google it. This Will help you send clear messages that your interested in more then just being friends as well as help in giving off a more confident “Harry has nothing on me” vibe.

Sorry for my bluntness but you needed to hear it.

Tisha.

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great words tisha, luv str8 forward people..

thanks, anything else you or anyone would like to add, say, or ask, feel free, i will respond.. will be checking this daily..

i will keep u guys updated on what happens after i talk to her about myself and make it clear that i am interested in her, should i use pheromones when i talk to her? or the days after i talk to her?

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great words tisha, luv str8 forward people..

thanks, anything else you or anyone would like to add, say, or ask, feel free, i will respond.. will be checking this daily..

i will keep u guys updated on what happens after i talk to her about myself and make it clear that i am interested in her, should i use pheromones when i talk to her? or the days after i talk to her?