Woman... what gets your emotions running... The nice Jerk or the cute funny guy

Lounge
1

Reason I ask is I can be both but I find there is a vast difference amongst what you will get out of a woman depending on which behavior you choose.

For example:

dsouza walks into fashion store.. beautiful woman helps him out.. he asks her her name, gets her advice and complements her. That’s meeting #1.

Meeting #2 D’souza calls up fashion outlet and asks when this woman will be inworking. He visits her once each month to shop and always calls for her. HE IS GETTING IN HER MIND.

Meeting #3. Dsouza shows up one day at fashion store and this beautful woman asks him why he keep asking for her. After you state you like her and would like to take her out she says she’s taken.

Now here is the twist.. If you act like the cute friendly funny guy you can smile and say we can be friends. You may even get her number or take her out but you’ve created the beginning of a friendship and killed all mystery and drama. You may give her a kiss on cheek as you walk out of the store and say we’ll keep in touch.

Twist #2… You act like the nice/jerk. You were nice, mysterious, and sensual to her then when she tells you she has a boyfriend, you say “that’s too bad, I wanted to take you out to a special lunch at a nice restaurant”, with a smile, “I guess that can’t happen anymore.”. You then break the silence.. You say I should get what I came here for. You pick up what you need while maintaining little eye contact and conversation with her. You thank her and leave the store. In teh future you don’t ask for her anymore… You just drop by when you want to shop.

Now I think twist #1 turns her into your friend but kills drama.. twist #2 makes her feel she’s missing out on something, creates emotional drama but may leave you out of reach. I can’t think of how to turn twist #2 into a further mysterious connection that leaves you within reach but still mysterious.

Well ladies which of these methods would make you friend a guy, and which of these methods would make you go crazy over a guy and hope he calls you back…?

What would you recommend a guy do after each of the twists to ensure he’s still has his targets wanting him?:stuck_out_tongue:

dsouza

2

Well, let’s see. I have my own personal theory that most people find themselves wanting what they can’t have - men and women alike. So to create tension, you find yourself doing a little dance between showing interest and then withholding. This push/pull behavior keeps 'em guessing. “He showed all of this interest before, now he just ignores me..?”

You pursue and pursue - then disappear. Or you show interest several good times, then the next time, you ignore her. You have to be so careful, because there’s an extremely fine line between being creepy and just seeming interested. Because if you pursue hardcore for weeks and then you disappear, she’s not going to miss you, she’s going to be relieved. What you want is for her to wonder where you’ve gone and whether or not you’ve lost interest. The moment she begins wondering whether or not she still has your interest is pretty huge. If she weren’t interested in you at all, she wouldn’t care.

Keep in mind also that if you’re a regular customer of hers, it takes more time to build a positive, trustworthy image of yourself than it does to cause irreparable damage to your image.

To sum up: push/pull, sexual tension, pursuing in a non-creepy way, and creating a trustworthy image over time are your best bets for success in situations like this where the only ways you have of contacting the girl are through her place of employment.

However, I will just say as a lady working in retail, it would make me kind of uncomfortable to learn that someone has called my place of employment to figure out my schedule. The employer isn’t supposed to give that information out, and it’s kind of stalkery. Yeah, he’s gotten in my mind, but not in a good way. Also, if I’m taken (and happy in my relationship), there’s no “twist” that’s going to end in your favor.

I’ve had guys do that. I’ve also had a co-worker go through my personnel file to get my number rather than ask me himself and it was extremely creepy, invasive, and I’m pretty sure it was also illegal.

In my opinion, if she’s telling you she’s in a relationship, it is with the intention of discouraging you from pursuing her further. It’s not because she’s being cheeky and hopes you’re up for the challenge. Her telling you this means one of two things - she’s actually in a relationship and happy enough with it that she feels like she ought to let you know it - or she’s telling you she’s in a relationship when she’s not which is even worse.

In any case, good luck to you. My general rule for creating attraction is doing the push/pull dance. It’s a tricky one to navigate because everyone is different and it’s hard to gauge how each person will react. I say stop asking for her when you come in, just make your purchases. If you see her there, smile, but don’t initiate conversation. If she initiates it, that’s a good sign. If she doesn’t, there’s your answer.