Looks don’t count.
My Avi is a lucky shot - this is what I really look like…
I am only 5’7" and at least 70lbs overweight with broken teeth. I haven’t met a woman in the last year that couldn’t see past that.
then i would have to see the kind of women you are trying to meet. see, the guys for the most part are the initiators on the social scene ( i dont count, for anyone about to say something 
), so i wonder who you are picking to “eye” that could not see past any of that. also, i am very self concious now about my own looks,thanks to the ongoing light on the subject,LOL!
i am listening to your choice of words, the way you present yourself,use humor, behave politely…
as far as im concerned, yourself portrayed here is incongruent with your last post,unless you are interested in exceptionally snobby women (heh, im teasing) but hey, you yourself said you go for the challenges. so you purposefully SEEK out the ones you KNOW will give you trouble because the pay-off is great sex and great self esteem (im with you on that,btw).
am i wrong about any of that??? check me, i need checking!
i hope i am correct with my facts, i thought i read all that on your posts in another thread.
Everything you have stated above is correct …however I think maybe the point of my last post was mis-interpreted.
The point is that just about every woman I have tried to romance in the last year HAS found me attractive…despite the fact that my physical appearance is not what they originally thought they would go for.
and the type of girl I go for? My last Girlfriend was a Vivienne Westwood catwalk model, with an MA in English Literature from a top University who did volunteer work at a childrens hospital.
She chose me above all the buffed and bronzed hunks that enhabit her world because (I’d like to think) I display most of the qualities listed in the posts on this topic.
Looks don’t matter…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
no offence gem, I bet your a real don juan, but what you posted was more cliche than cliche, dude will you be my dating coach? I want a Vivienne west model too!!!
well
then thats more believable
I’d say that the first three things I consciously notice about a guy are the same as I notice about a girl:
- Grace in context; someone who is not a passive observer nor an oblivious participant, but who is noticing and acknowledging / responding to / contributing to the gestalt of the event in a personal way. (True whether the ‘event’ is a cocktail party or conversation bar, a church affair, wedding, funeral, dance club, holiday picnic, concert, fireworks display, kids birthday party. Note that grace does not in any way imply perfection – others have called it “being comfortable in one’s skin”…) (Comfort)
- How she or he invites interaction, rapport, how she or he treats his or her friends/partner/posse, or, if alone, how he or she responds to other strangers. (Security)
*]Indications of ethical and aesthetic grounding that evoke and build trust. (Trust)
"and the type of girl I go for? My last Girlfriend was a Vivienne Westwood catwalk model, with an MA in English Literature from a top University who did volunteer work at a childrens hospital.
She chose me above all the buffed and bronzed hunks that enhabit her world because (I’d like to think) I display most of the qualities listed in the posts on this topic.
Looks don’t matter…"
Seriously that’s awesome; BUT… and I do see your point to an extent. I don’t think looks don’t matter. I think looks matter to women LESS than guys think they do. Varies from women to women to girl. For avrious reasons. I mean Fabian Barthez dated Linda Evangelista for a decade and he’s well… will add pic.
Don’t you think maybe the fact that she had the MA and helped out in a children’s hospital makes her non-representative of most women we’re likely to meet? Ie. Her education and social awareness make her the type of woman for whom looks are a non-MAJOR issue?
To re-iterate Bronzie, how do you market your material on dating etc.
Thanks,
Matthew
PS: Who broke up with who? 
Looks and a great smile get a guy noticed in the first place, but charm, passion for life, and good manners count for a lot. The most important factor is INTELLIGENCE. And to second Carrie, if a man doesn’t write well, or worse, spell correctly, it’s a problem for me.
Mark L’s post, just above, puts in beautifully in a nutshell, too. Wish I wrote that.
how about race? Why doesnt anyone take this into account?
How about this? Instead of mentioning your preferences, just mention the qualities of all your exs. I have seen too many contradictions in the posting in this topic both from men and women. Not to single any one post but saying I don’t care about the height of men I date and mention that all my boyfriends including the current one are tall, and saying women’s looks are not important and then mentioning that all my girlfriends have been atleast a 8.5.
Unconscious choices are revealed in our selection, but I believe when we try to verbalize our choice we either find it extremely difficult to express or we misinterpret our own choice!
Yes, how about race! And again saying I don’t care about race and having dated only people from your own race doesn’t count.
are you two tag-teaming ?
well all that might open a can of worms but heres my take on the ex thing:
my ex GOT me when we were friends for a few years,and we would advise eachother on our relationships. nothing electric,ever. and he had come over to tell me how upset he was that his girlfriend was cheating (we all knew she was,but love is blind?) and so me being the comforter that i am asked to plant a big wet one on him (opportunist?) and i was shocked when he said “no, i have to do this right” . with that said, he literally waited to the next day, broke up with his girlfriend, and was mine for almost 14 years.
i am totally honest when i say manners and behaviour GET ME. weak in the knees.
as far as race goes, i never leaned towards any race. well,maybe darker because we are an olive family but see that doesnt hold water either because my ex was blond. height never mattered,either.
i think what i find attractive are things that dont float on the surface, and if you think well when you first see someone all you see is surface i say nope,not me. i wont argue that topic. i got good eyes
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GSOH - and if he can laugh at HIMSELF, he is already quids in.
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Comfortable with who he REALLY is, and NOT A FAKE! Cannot stress this highly enough. My BS detector works from 1000 ft!
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Being genuine, kind, showing sensitivity, and intelligence (I’m making them all one thing! ^_^). I have said it once and will again, if the wrapping is really pretty but the actual contents of the package are non-existant, then you will not last a nano-second with me..
Ail
this sums it up for me. this is what i notice/look for in PEOPLE (gender not important)
But let’s be honest here people. There’s a reason this guy below, in the absense of major injury or sickness, is never alone for long. However non-secure; non-comforting and non-trust-worthy he might be.
Matthew
I would say you are a handsome lad Gem
He may be never alone for long – but it’s also the girls he’s with that make the difference – and how many there are. He may go through them like water, his decision or theirs.
Seriously, if he was the guy I had the date with, he’d still be gone.
P.S. His nose is wanting.
i was a bartender in a club.
yawn.
maybe you get desensitized…i dont know.
TO ME, thats like looking at a chefs creation of…spagetti?squid? worms? wth is it??? the point is, WHO KNOWS what it is. could be gay.
guys think we see and act.
we WATCH and act.
big difference!!!
Okay, if you want to talk about looks and how much they mean to women: I have no idea who this is, but if I saw him on the street I’d guess he might be gay (and more power to him). Aside from that, his face is pretty young, undeveloped, uninteresting. Faces really start to get interesting looking around 35.
When you see abs like his, you can pretty much guess where he spends most of his time. Nice arms, though. And I’m sure you’re right, he doesn’t lack a social life - gay, straight, bi, or whatever he wants!
:changing subject now:
This thread, like most of its kind on Love-Scent, seems to attract a number of guys who just can’t believe that women care about more than looks and money. I think most women do care about those things to a reasonable degree, but only as part of the whole picture -and how interesting are looks and money to talk about? If I try to account for this disconnect, I’d guess that maybe those men believe that deep down women must be just like them in this way - that we must care ultimately, in a driven sort of way, about either looks (as they do) or money (as many believe we do) - and if we won’t “admit” it, we must be deceiving ourselves.
Based on what I’ve seen and heard in half a lifetime, I think women tend to be more practical and well-rounded in how they assess a potential mate. It’s not all about that one certain thing (whatever that is) for us, the way it seems to be all about looks for so many men. Lots of men on pheromone forums seem to be quite attached to the idea that they somehow deserve a “10” … and maybe many of those “10s” are equally convinced they deserve a Donald Trump or a Tom Cruise?
Another consideration: I don’t believe that the men and women on this forum represent a good cross-section of the population. People who come here may be highly curious experimental types, olfactorily-driven (here!), or seriously looking for relationship/sex or other human-relations type help. Possibly the women who come here are farther away from the norm for their sex than the men are?
On the subject of the olfactorily-driven, on the perfume boards sometimes we take a poll to see which Myers-Briggs personality types are most represented … and it’s INFP and INFJ to a very great extent, each of which only comprise 1% of the population! I would bet that this group might be somewhat atypical as well.
Just for fun, we women could have a really superficial thread about what physical attributes attract us the most - anyone game?