So in other words, still go through with date night, if it isn’t as planned, move on? Or should I just cancel and put the proverbial “X” over her?
Go through with it. But take it for what it is, and don’t play into her crap. Move on if she’s not willing to treat you respectfully the way you deserve.
Since our date is on Saturday, I think I’ll message her on Tuesday something along the lines of: “hey, so I’ll pick you up for our date on Saturday at 5.”
I’ll probably throw in a joke to lighten the mood (if it needs lightening). I just want to make sure she and I are both on the same page.
That sounds like a step toward good communication.
I’ll post her response in a little less than a week then.
Do this, exactly. 
Very intriguing thread and topic, thanks lakerman for the candour and all the other for shared wisdom. Felt a bit like prying reading it.
I agree with Mobo that some girls of her caliber tend to cultivate a “holding pattern” with a number of guys simultaneously - who might not even be aware of that.
It’s actually a pool of potential mates.
Make yourself stand out of it, just as Roy, MissD and Mobo suggested.
Be the best of those potential males. Play out every trump card you got,
even your economical backgrounds might be of importance.
Remain in control of your emotions and aware of any manipulations.
I’d opt for a fairly strong status and sexual/healthy mix, for those are the qualities you need her to perceive the most. Emotional and intellectual connections are already established and seem to be genuine, even if some of it was part of her “schemes”. So shift the emphasis.
But still don’t stiffen and let too much depend on just this one date/encounter - let it be the beginning of the “final act”
I wish you the best of luck for your date and look forward to the report.
So in terms of pheromones, this girl goes for sort of profound, introverted, quiet guys who are rather good at banter, are very intelligent, sexy, and sort of carefree (when I got her first time around, I was making jokes, laughing a lot, that sort of thing).
Off the top of my head, I have:
Instant Shine
Ammo Summer Edition
Instant Honesty 2X
A314
P74?
P78
P83
Mystery Boy
MAYBE CTTM2
TUTH
MAYBE Instant Gentleman
and a couple of MX-series.
Keep in mind, she’s a 21 year old white girl who, from what I’ve gathered, REALLY gets turned off when a guy comes on too strong. She’s about ‘slow and steady,’ and likes for things to happen organically.
For my date, I actually have a teeth cleaning scheduled for a couple of days before (haven’t had one in years), am going to get my haircut a couple of days before, and I know she likes glasses, so I will be rocking the glasses, not the contacts.
She claims to be a sapiophile. I think she was DEFINITELY attracted to me at some point, but I don’t know about now. When she was in CR and said that everyone looked like me, she also mentioned that “everyone here is beautiful,” or something along those lines.
I’ve also gathered that she’s TERRIBLE at flirting. I think she mentioned this to me once. She just doesn’t know how. To guys she REALLY likes, her initial reaction is to go cold and find a way to boot them from her life. She admits that this is terrible, but can’t help it. She once sent me a link (I don’t know if you guys know MBTI – she’s an ENTP which is very atypical for women) that said that a night without sex with someone she likes may actually be a GOOD sign b/c she’s almost incapable of having sex with guys she has deep feelings for.
My issue is, I don’t know what is genuine and what is chameleon now.
I am not a relationship expert, but I am a Wolfe. You just answered a bunch of your own questions.
So if she is wanting thing to happen organically, why are you sweating all of the details? You are trying to navigate the ship from the engine room. Get back up into the bridge and take a hold of the wheel. You are going to run yourself aground if you are too busy making sure you get every single little thing right.
And right now, you are making a rookie mistake. Don’t ever think you know your enemy. Right now work from what you KNOW is a fact. Don’t assume anything. I just successfully avoided a succubus that I would have easily fallen for if it weren’t for the fact that I did my digging. DON’T ASSUME YOU KNOW THEM WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
Because right now, you are sacrificing who you are, to be more compatible with her, duct taping the holes in the hull. And that’s the mistake you are making. If she was interested enough in you she would play ball, get you neat and tidy just the way she likes you and then pounce. She wouldn’t be playing this game of “I-like-you-maybe-but-I-like-you-enough-I-got-naked-in-front-of-you-and-tried-to-fuck-you.”
Here is my advice, she isn’t the one. Because there isn’t just one. There are 6 billion people out there, there are a lot more than just one, “One”.
Can you have fun with her? Yes!
Can you learn from her? Yes!
Can you love her? Yes!
Is she the one? No!
There is never “One”. People are a blessing or a lesson. Love is a constant, two way exchange of communication, empathy, loyalty, passion, and emotion. Every"one" who I thought was “The One” was actually a blessing that grew into a lesson. Like all people, and all things. We just have to be wise enough to see when the flower wilts. The day she stops the exchange, or the day she grows too far from you. The day she breaks up with you. Stop the bleeding. Stop the effort. Stop the exchange.
Don’t ever assume there is only one path to happiness, as it will blind you to the doors you walk past to get there.
I agree with you with all that “The One” stuff. Actually, I know it may not SEEM that way, but all my friends come to me for relationship advice and, more times than not, my advice is “eh, she’s not the one, find another.”
It’s just this girl REALLY got to me like no other girl has. Even when I got away (for 5 months) I came back for more.
Trust me I waited 18 years before having a relationship with some I thought was worthy. “The One”. Was she worth the wait? Yes. Was she worth the struggle? Yes! Did she stick with me for always and eternity? Hell no. 10 months. I didn’t do anything wrong either. But that’s life. I got my “One” and learned that she is imperfect like all of us. Imperfect enough that she isn’t actually the one. The issue lies in the fact that you won’t see the illusion because you are the target.
I just say this.
Take a fat breath, hold it till you see purple stars, exhale. And then come at it with a level head. You prepare yourself however much you feel is necessary, and you will find out if it was enough. If it doesn’t work, don’t sweat it. You got the see the goods already. 
-Wolfe
Just had this conversation with her:
Me:
so in regards to our date on saturday: i’ll pick ya up at 5. dress warmly. bring your music device so you can be DJ. bring a camera. bring a gun loaded with silver bullets.
we gotta be prompt with time though. apparently they won’t let us in if we’re late.
Her:
Can it be more of an afternoon thing, or would that ruin all of the plans?
Me:
That would destroy all of my plans.
Her:
Oh. Crap.
Me:
double book, didn’t ya?
Her:
Yes. Accidentally. I’m the worst.
Me:
What’s the plan?
Also, I’m kind of loopy right now. I’m hopped up on drugs. Am I doing OK with this talking thing?
Her:
Impressive. You seem fine. What drugs?
Me:
First time I’ve been sick since 2006. I don’t remember ever being so bored. I read 2 tsps. of codeine as 2 tbsps. Whoops.
Her:
Ohh shit! Feel better. That’s the worst. Let me know if you need Netflix advice!
Me:
OH Philomena. What a beautiful movie. Please watch it.
And how do you suppose we resolve our mix up?
Her:
I have heard really good things about that film. Also, Her was great. Good question…I’m so so sorry. My dad is driving in to see me. I feel bad asking him to rearrange his car plans.
Me:
Oooo that’s a tricky one…ummm…hmmm…I’ll try and brainstorm, but in my current state, my thought patterns only go so far and then my head starts to hurt.
Her:
Graarw sorry, sorry.
Me:
I get it, I get it.
You think of something, and by Monday I should have something. Also, Her was a great movie. Really weird, but I think it fit in well with your research. Unless, of course, I’m completely wrong about what your thesis research is about. And I will take that Netflix recommendation. Don’t tell your dad to cancel his plans. Definitely don’t do that.
That last part I separated in 3 separate messages at 3 separate times. No response to none of them. I hope she says something before me, because if I say something on Monday, Needy City and 4 messages in a row by me, not a good precedent I’m keeping (I’ve been SO good for months now). 
Now, she was in Costa Rica for a month, her dad picked her up from the airport, and drove her directly to school. I do believe he is driving down. I have stiff competition from a guy who lives in Rochester, NY, 5 hours away from my school (and 8 hours away from her apartment in Manhattan). I thought that, maybe, he would be coming to visit, but I doubt that he would pay a visit on a Saturday night to see her just to leave the next day (he goes to school too). The first time we hooked up, she double-booked as well. So I trust her on this one. Also, she instantly tried to reschedule, so that’s a good sign. I called it a “date” and she didn’t seem too upset about that. I’d say, overall, PRETTY good but I just wish she’d be better with her scheduling.
Before anyone says anything, I “asked her out” on this date when she was in Costa Rica, about 3 weeks prior. Personally, I’d put it right into my PDA, but heck, she was on vacation, I do believe it may have slipped her mind.
Actually, it’s a relatively easy fix, but I felt like I had to rattle her a little bit. I could push back our date til March, and then do a traditional dinner and movie on Wednesday or Thursday night of this week. Also, I’m sick and my mom broke my car yesterday. The “sick” should be under control by Monday, but I don’t know how long it would take my car to get fixed.
Why didn’t she respond to me after she specifically asked me if I wanted Netflix recommendations? This girl is a ball of confusing.
bruh the girl you dealing with might have cluster B/ bi-polar.
she could also could have a slot A man and your in slot B. i think the reason all this BS is happening is cuz you didn’t finish that first night when you could have. no matter what comes out her mouth she saw you as a pussy that night. Its fucked up but true. She should have put in you instant friend-zone. Attraction has a expiration date. If you had fucked her that one night, you would have the power in the relationship.
I dont know if you can recover from that. no girl is different. she got you under her spell. You are more attracted to her than she is to you. if she flakes on the “date” ( idk why your doing a traditional date? just hang out and seal the deal) then its over. you have to NEXT her. no contact.
my observations: your texts/messages are kind of wordy. be to the point. just text to meetup only. dont be so available. you should seem busy/not bored.
just my 2 cents
I’d say that the majority of guys in the holding pattern of a girl like this are not and never going to be seriously considered as partners - Only the top one or two will be in the running.
The rest are there purely to give her attention and validation across her various moods and at worst might be considered as tactical weapons when she wants to introduce conflict or friction when she needs to stir things-up.
So yes, being your best, having an iron will and the resolve to stand-up to any manipulation is essential.
I agree with this. Judging by your text exchange she’s playing with you. Mrdimes is right when he says you shouldn’t be so available. Also: don’t ask too many questions. When girls are playing games, this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make; makes you vulnerable. Don’t ask her how she thinks you’re doing with the drugs… you’re putting yourself down and are asking for validation (=weak). Don’t ask what the plan is. Take initiave, suggest a meet-up time and location - if she doesn’t bite, ignore her and go no contact for a while. If she really is interested she’ll get in touch. If she doesn’t, you’re plan B… don’t allow yourself to be anyone’s second choice.
I would actually bet hard cash that what really turns her-on is more or less the exact opposite of a great deal of that and she’s stringing you this line as a fairly complex smokescreen. Although there are a few clues to her real type in there that don’t quite gel with the rest of her stated “desires”
Introverted/quiet guys - AKA the sort of guys who are so starved of female attention that when a woman does show interest, they will do and put-up with almost anything just to keep it.
Good at banter/intelligent/carefree - Now this I do believe but it doesn’t really gel with the above, does it? And it explains why you got her attention first time.
Turned-off by a guy coming-on too-strong. Yes, for a guy she’s not attracted to or a simpering orbiter but when someone does hit-it for her, there will be no such thing as “too-strong.” Happen organically - The guys at the top of her holding pattern will be waiting a long time then, and the unluckiest of all will have to deal with all the drama and emotional fallout from her brief flings with guys who do it for her but won’t stick around when she starts to try and manipulate them. I suggest you read this as “I’m easy and I hate myself for it!”
Sapiophile! 
- That’s a new one on me, very pretentious. Most of the women who tried that line on me just said they were Bisexual. So that means she can use girls as a lever on you as well as guys - Even if untrue, this is still an excellent way way to create even more emotional dissonance, which helps make her more attractive to you. (be aware that convoluted sexuality issues do run very significantly higher in cluster-Bs) The rest is emotional massaging aimed straight at you and also indicates her tastes are a tad shallower then she would want to admit. Also I do believe she was strongly attracted to you initially, until she found you too were willing to settle for being wrapped round her little finger.
Terrible with flirting/ENTP - Sorry, that’s straight-up mirroring, nothing more. Boots guys she really likes out of her life - and she’s giving you/herself an excuse for treating you like shit. The way she can wield a lure suggests this girl might make a really good fly fisher or again you could read it as “I don’t flirt - I just put-out and again I hate myself for it!”
The thing with chameleon women sending these signals to me is that when they are on for you, then yes they are 100% genuinely-on but when they turn-off, its totally the other way, with a very small band in between - and that’s where you are sitting now.
She is putting-out a hell of a lot of warning-signs in this direction, yes but both of these do require a lot more evidence. over a much longer time period than she’s given here to reliably diagnose.
But either way, its screaming AVOID, or keep NON-SERIOUS to me.
Phero-wise, I’d consider a status/emotionally engaging signature as well, A314/IH/P74 and a little TUTH for underlying sexuality.
Then as the date goes-on, and she goes deeper, ramp-up the TUTH till you get results, either way.
IS might also provide suitable feelgood steering.
Dear.. God…! I think I need a little lie-down. 
Yes, you need to cut-back your non-physical communication greatly. Keep it for when you are face to face!
You also badly need to do something about your self-confidence and the “competition” mentality - You have no competition and to that end, think-on stepping-out altogether. If there are genuine feelings there, she will come running and if not - well, you know now and can move-on to someone who is less of a mindfuck.
Women who like and are genuinely attracted to you you make it very easy - you will not have any kind of confusion there.
She messaged me this morning.
She told me “ughhhh I’m so so sorry. I responded to ALL of those messages. Internet in my dorm has been spotty lately.” – I went to the same school she goes to, so I can vouch for the spottiness of the internet.
The girl isn’t bipolar. She’s one of the realest girls you’ll ever meet. A friend of mine (who is unaware she and I are talking) told me that she thinks this girl is the most “objectively cool girl I’ve ever met.”
She’s the type of girl that rolls her eyes at romantic comedies, and hates shoes, makeup, and “girly” things. She doesn’t wear makeup or perfume.
The night we hung out, I asked her to pick a movie. I thought she’d pick a rom-com, but I was OK with that b/c I sort of thought sex was coming. She told me she was DYING to see The Conjuring and was going to see it alone, but she’d watch it with me if I’d like.
I like the advice I’m getting, but I think I need to paint the picture of this girl better. SO many girls claim to be “not girly,” but this girl ACTUALLY is “not girly.”
The very first day I met her, she was drinking and was a little sad. I asked her what was up, and she said, “I’m doomed to be forever friendzoned b/c I’m too much of a bro.”
EDIT: ANNNNNDDDDD we have a date night (movie, dinner) scheduled for Wednesday.