Date Night - Long Time Coming

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
61

The IH/P74 will actually provide a lot of moderation.

One of the biggest mistakes people make with this combo is to use a too-balanced product alongside it - eg Ammo. Something with a bit of unapologetic raunch has always done better - The IH/P74 (or better still A314/IH/P74) gives it all the cerebral “WOW-Factor” you will ever need and the IS/P83 won’t do any harm at all, although they are very much secondary here. :slight_smile:

Your TUTH/IH/IS/P83 is also very useful, in a similar, lighter vein and again, IH/IS makes for a very sexy/sharing/engaging combo with the right steering - pheromonally and behaviourally.

GorthFock’s mix is also excellent - I’ve used something very like it many times but don’t get too hung-up on application points. All of these will layer together just fine - except A314 oil, keep that apart. Personally I use the area just in front of the ears, or just below them for oils - have a prod-around to see what is the warmest spot on you! :slight_smile:

62

Told her I’ll be picking her up at around 7pm tonight, she responded “cool beans!”

I’ll let you guys know how it goes afterwards.

63

DATE NIGHT RECAP:

What I went with:
1 spray TUTH to right neck
1 spray P74 to left neck
1 spray IShine 2X to center neck, 1 spray to top of head
2 drops A314 rubbed between wrists, then behind ears, then washed off from wrists
1 spray IH on each wrist

Self-Effects:
I was nervous on my way there, but shortly after picking her up, I gained confidence. I usually stutter over words with her and not make much sense, but I felt myself speaking very clearly and almost quietly. I was also much quicker with her than usual. My energy was rather high, as if I had a VERY good night’s rest, and I JUST finished drinking my first cup of coffee. I also noticed that for a very long time early on during the date, I had non-stop “sex voice.” (Deeper, slower, calmer).

Effects on Her:
More upbeat than she usually is. She would draw tangents and go on and on about her interests, and then apologize for being so dorky. She came across as more “human” than ever, and the conversation was very light. Her jokes weren’t as sharp as usual.

When we got to the restaurant, we were trying to pronounce all the Thai entrees. There was something called “Gong Dong.” I said it, she said, “say it again!” I said it again. Her response? “Stop talking about your dong!”

How the date went:
Early on, I thought it wasn’t going well. This morning, she asked to skip the movie b/c she ‘wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go to bed earlier tonight.’ Then, 5 minutes before I got there, she texts me saying that she needed to be at a thesis meeting at 8:30, thus making our date only 90 minutes long.

First of all, this girl had on makeup, and pretty sure she had her hair done. She NEVER does makeup and hair. She looked beautiful (as per usual). I know that she was fully aware that it was a date. She even asked if she “won points” after I laughed heartily at one of her jokes. She laughed at a lot of my jokes. Unlike past encounters, never once did I feel friendzoned.

I felt as if in the car there were some long pauses, but during dinner, the conversation flowed the entire night. The night started date-y, but the conversation got rather friendly and warm, as if we knew each other for a long time.

At about 8:25, I reminded her about her meeting, and she forgot about it. So we sort of rushed to get out of there. We did, however, do the whole “fight for who pays the bill” schtick. She told me she wasn’t going to let me pay for her dinner, I told her she’ll get next time, eventually I won out, but in her face, I could almost SEE her think, “YES! THIS IS A DATE!”

What went BAD was there was NO physical contact. Zero. Zip. For the type of girl she is, this may be a VERY OK thing. She was in a rush, but when I dropped her off right in front of her door, she pretty much RAN out and said, “THANKS FOR THE MEAL BYE!” I was telling her, “HEY, NEXT THURSDAY THERE IS THIS THING, JOIN ME…” She just replied, “yeah sure,” but I doubt she knew what I was talking about.

Usually after first dates that didn’t go well, I sense it. Right away. I leave the girls apartment or house FEELING as if it didn’t go as planned. I left her dorm feeling rather positively, as if I succeeded. Then, as the night went on, I started questioning myself. “Perhaps she is meeting another guy and that’s why she prettied herself up and had to leave at 8:30?” These are the sort of thoughts that go to my head.

I’m not going to talk to her at all. Usually, I send a “hey, I had a lot of fun tonight, I hope you did too” text, but I feel as if it’s OBVIOUS that we both enjoyed each other quite a lot. Dare I say, I felt like I was hanging out with one of my best friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. This may have been the best connection I have ever felt with her in person. Now, I worry that, in her mind, this registers as, “he’s a great guy, one of my best guy friends,” or “GOD I hope he asks me on a second date.” I’m also worried that she puts a lot of weight in “I didn’t feel sparks.” Frankly, I didn’t feel sparks, BUT I felt in the presence of a lady that I value greatly and would love to enjoy intimacy with.

On Sunday, I’m going to send her a link to next Thursday’s date idea, and just say, “wanna be my date?”

REALLY loved the Phero mix! I also put on 2 sprays of Narcisco Rodriguez cologne to my chest.

64

Looks like she’s taking you a lot more seriously now - which is good but I’m concerned about her speed of departure and no physicality. You need to intitate pretty mercilessly - physically and emotionally if you are going to turn this round. In this situation, a lack of physicality is not any kind of good!

Also concerned that you felt the need to “remind” her - that’s her problem, you are not her secretary/father/best friend and if she’s having the sort of time where she wants to get carried away, drop everything and spend it with you, that’s all the better - and it can be used to help build a sexy “conspiratorial” vibe ,which generally helps.

Pauses are sometimes good as they can help build sexual tension but don’t keep them going too long or lapse into boredom - that’s very bad.

Her wobbling before the date and imposition of a time frame sounds more like her asserting control more than anything else. Do let her pay the next time - too much “gentleman” is also overwhelming and an attraction killer. Also, many women need an “it just happened” rationalisation for letting-go sexually/emotionally and this just might have been her frame to let it happen!

I’m a great believer in the well-timed knob-gag. Its an excellent mood shifter - usually in the sexual direction and yes, the more prim, proper and in control the lady, the more likely it is to throw her right-off in all the right ways. Don’t take this as an excuse for non-stop smut - that’s just sleazy. Go for maximum inpact instead! :wink:

65

At the end of the night, she mentioned how she had a big whole in her pants and how she didn’t change them because she ‘didn’t want to keep me waiting.’ I told her, “DAMN, I CAN’T THINK OF A GOOD JOKE.” She said, “I just gave you SO much material…and…your time is up.”

I SHOULD have said, “awww that’s so sweet of you, leaving me an easy access point.”

Also, what you mean by ‘well-timed knob gag?’

Should I go for 2 sprays of TUTH next time? (Sort of heat things up?)

We have our “big” date on March 15 (the one that is rescheduled). I feel as if all ‘little’ dates leading up to then are all the build up to sex. I feel as if we have sex later and the tension is extremely high, the build up is going to lead to the most fantastic sex either one of us has ever had.

66

Haha mobo is way ahead of you! She was giving you the opportunity to make a bad penis joke, but you failed! :stuck_out_tongue:

67

yoooo she if a girl says it was a nice meeting/doing something = low interest.

she literally thanked you for the meal? Not your time?

YOU MADE A HUGE ASS MISTAKE WHEN YOU DIDNT TOUCH HER. WTF YOU DESERVE to BE FRIEND-ZONED. TOUCH >>>>> TALK. GIRL LOGIC IS FUCKING CRAZY FOR EXAMPLE THEYLL PRETEND SLEEP WHEN U TRY TO HAVE SEX, AND IF U DONT PERSIST SHE TELL HER FRIENDS WHAT A PUSSY YOU ARE. THATS GIRLS LOGIC.

when you didn’t touch her/make any moves at all (you communicated to her you are not a sexual guy/not dominant). You didn’t separate yourself from “nice guys”. You even payed for her MEAL? You’re suppose to split the bill!

…and the way that date ended ( she ran out on you? idc about the situation)

she practically wanted you to make a move but this quote sums up your night

" I just gave you SO much material…and…your time is up"

DAMN AND I WANTED YOU TO SUCCEED TOO!

68

How old are you?

69

HAHA I know. Can’t be on ALLLLL of the time.

I actually even thought about the dong joke. I should have responded, “hey, you’re the one talking about my dong, not me.”

I think I am going to pick her up, and say something like this: “So, how are your pants today?”

She’ll respond with whatever.

“So only two holes in there today, huh? Well, that’s a shame.”

She’ll ask why that’s a shame.

I’ll respond: “I had an easy access point last week. Now you’re making me work harder for it.”

If she says something, I’ll reply, “hey, last time you started the night with a joke about my dong, so I thought it’d only be fair to start the night with a joke about your vagina.”

That work?

I really do think the date went, overall, well. Still, there is this girl that is DYING to hop on my dick. Here in the northeast, we are going through an awful snowstorm. She offered to shovel her driveway so I can go visit her and have a place to park. When the snow clears up (hopefully Saturday), I’m going to, hopefully, spend the night, get my dick wet, and I think that’ll help me with my main girl.

70

Dude I like your posts.
It’s good to be good and nice, but don’t be afraid to have a little fun with her. I mean think about it. The way you show yourself on these dates should be what she can expect from you if you two end up going somewhere with this.
Just like how a combination of pheros gives the ultimate result, so should your personality and attitude be.
That joke was a prime example..
But it wasn’t all bad because at least you said something, and I bet she smiled because of it.
My point is, show her your kind and respectful, but also fun and outgoing, definitely have a sense of humor… And for goodness sake man, if she says she’ll get the bill after you already offered, let her take it.

She was giving you all kinds of hits, two penis references on your part…
Penis references says she wants sex.. Now of course that doesn’t mean you try to close that night, but she was being flirty.

All isn’t lost, dust yourself off and get back on the horse.

Get a good phero sig going next time. Make sure you do something to relax yourself, so you can think clearly and not worry during the date. (Ie, exercise earlier in the day, masturbate, etc.) whatever will make you feel at ease and relaxed. I personally recommend TAC for that.

Next, be yourself, but don’t overdue the niceness. It can be annoying.
Make her laugh and smile. Don’t let that end. This should be your main goal. Also, get her talking about interesting things (to her) even if you aren’t interested in listening. Girls like to talk. She probably doesn’t want to listen to you much. No offense.

If she hasn’t touched you physically, then try this. Make her laugh and smile and then take that opportunity to swoop in unexpectedly and work some touches in.

Remember, don’t be too nice that you aren’t fun, but don’t have too much fun that you’re being disrespectful.

And whatever you do, don’t ever EVER EVVERRRRRRR looked bothered by ANYTHING..!!!
Smile and be a positive and happy person, like nothing can touch you…

It’s actually simpler than it sounds..

You got this..

71

Naw I wouldn’t suggest bringing up the pants thing again. You had your chance and by now it’s too late. You need new material dude.

72

She is REALLY into film and television, so I started talking about Oscar movies, and she JUMPED on it. We started talking about Jonah Hill, and she told me that “he’s crazy.” I asked her, “what’s crazy? My older brother insists I’m crazy.”

Her response was, “yeah, I think you’re crazy?” “Huh?”

“I think you like to push social norms and what society deems is normal, so in that sense, I think you’re insane.”

I put my hand over my heart and said (kinda jokingly), “awww thank you.” That was the entire night. Lots of joking around, lets of sarcasm, she told me about her trip to Costa Rica, it was just REALLLLLLLYYYYYY laidback. The kind of relationship I want. I just hope she feels like it was as good as I feel.

OH and should bring this up:
At the end of the night, she said something along the lines of “yeah, sorry I had to rush this whole thing.” I told her, “yeah, honestly I was gonna turn around and go home, but thought eh, what the heck?”

She said, “well, in my defense, you’re taking me out on a school night!”

So yeah, I feel as if it was an overall positive experience for her as well.

I think it’s key we don’t talk AT ALL outside of the context of dates. Sunday can’t come soon enough. I’d be surprised if she says ‘no’ to my date proposal, outside of, “sorry, I have other commitments.” I think it was THAT successful. Usually, I have a good feel of whether the girl is going to deny my request for a 2nd date. I see no reason why she’d deny this request. We just had a splendid time. I just need to pick up the sexuality, I guess.

To get her to shut up about paying her half of the bill (the guy paying the whole bill is practically saying, “YES THIS IS A DATE”) was me saying: “Hey, the waitress handing me the bill. There was a 50/50 chance that either one of us was going to get the bill. That’s just fair chance. Since I got it, I’ll pay.” She just laughed and said, “I don’t think that’s a fair assessment.”

If she says ‘yes’ to my date request, I’m going to start a new thread.

As for the phero sig, I think the one I used REALLY works. I just want to know if it’s a good idea to add another spray of TUTH, or if that’d be too much? I think it brought the raunch out of her, but didn’t in me. I didn’t have a raunchy joke to save me. Oh, sir Mobocaster, where art thou?

73

Also, I feel like I was EXACTLY this during the date.

The only thing is I didn’t really say anything sexual nor did I touch her. But I looked at her cleavage a little bit, and I stared into her eyes. A lot. Even when we paid the bill. She said, “so…you going to out stare me, huh?” After I paid, I went to the bathroom. As I closed the door, I looked at her. I just saw this look as if she was thinking. I feel as if the look was her affirming to herself that this was a date and was successful at that. Then she pulled out her phone, probably to text.

We spoke a LITTLE about me, but mostly her during the night. She was telling me how her trip to Costa Rica was such an eye opener and how she got over A LOT of her BS just from doing it.

The more I talk about the date, the better I feel about it.

I didn’t feel friend-zoned, and she said nothing to make me feel as if I was in her friend-zone, but I felt like we were close friends. I think a relationship built off of a close friendship is a relationship that lasts. Also, I really don’t think it’s absolutely imperative to touch/kiss the girl on the very first date.

Second date there is some alcohol involved. The first night we hung out and almost had sex, we were drinking bourbon. The next date is a bourbon tasting. I can see it now, “for whatever reason, when I drink bourbon and I’m around you, I want to do this..” go in for kiss

In my mind, that’s how I’ll do it.

74

Thank you all for your help, I have gotten no response for a request for a 2nd date, so I’m taking the non-response as a ‘no.’

Ah well. Disappointment, but I’ll get over it.

75

ANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD

Confirmed: Rejection.

We had a LONG talk, and lets just say it’s absolutely over. “Just no romantic chemistry,” she said. Yet, as we were talking, we realized we had the SAME life goals, SAME ambitions, SAME values, SAME world views, SAME views on God, and I told her how, in my life, I just wanted simplicity. I just wanted to make a little money with a woman that I’m deeply in love with and travel the world. I’m an idealist. She said she, too, feels the SAME EXACT WAY. I told her how she’s one in a billion and how her song is different than all the other girls and it has captured me for so long, she told me “that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You tend to do that. And then you keep outdoing yourself. I love how you’re so honest with me.”

But “no romantic chemistry.”

We hung out like 4 times total. 4 fucking times.

Is this just an age thing? (She’s 21), or some intuitive girl thing that I don’t understand (and I take a lot of proud in my own intuition)? I think we make too much sense for each other.

76

Dude…we told you, you didn’t touch her or go for the golden joke opportunities!
It’s alright though.. Move on.
It’s more like you rejected her. She was talking about your DONG for goodness sake! It was on her mind…

77

OK, so now you know. :frowning:

This is not that uncommon in women who are overly driven by “feelings” - If they don’t get bowled-over by the emotional/sexual/romantic rush/connection straight away, its friendzone, no matter how compatible you are/connect deeply on every other level.

I’m afraid your description of her suggested she was one of these and yes, it does seem to be a very common theme on the cluster-B spectrum. This is why I was saying for you to take everything she says with a big pinch of salt and look at her actual/unconscious behaviours for a better tell.

Unfortunately, this mirroring can also make them very attractive to us guys but she will adapt and go-on being “the same” as every other guy she meets, no matter how different they really are. Its uncanny just how similar these women are the world-over. :frowning:

More normal/stable women will tend to appreciate you on a wider range of attributes, even though there will be greater differences between you as people - this is actually to be celebrated!

Your last phero mix may have helped bring-out this heart-to-heart - it was almost certainly working working on her and she was finally taking you seriously as the whole package - an intelligent, passionate man, so she couldn’t keep-up her pretence any longer. Again, this is good not bad as a similar mix will help a more well-rounded woman get to know you, bond and find you attractive in all the right ways.

You need to cut all contact now for a long time - don’t do or say anything to validate or prove her right or wrong. It may be that after a while she will come running back with a whole new layer of emotions - but if she does, be very careful as they may be quite superficial.

Don’t dwell on this - go call the other girl soon! :slight_smile: It may also help that your inevitable state of emotional detachment after this will help you promote good attraction in her. :slight_smile:

78

Mobocaster, I can’t thank you enough. You are SUCH a great help and SUCH an asset to this community!

Honestly, I feel like one night in bed with her, she would have felt the “romantic compatibility” HARD with me. I see other guys she had “romantic compatibility” with, and I can’t see how they brought EVERYTHING that I brought to her.

I honestly don’t understand how she DOESN’T see compatibility.

When we first met, I walked into the room and Pink Floyd was playing. I said, “ah! Pink Floyd! I’m more of a Led Zeppelin guy myself.” Apparently, just seconds before, she said the SAME. EXACT. THING. And this happens between us OFTEN (as you can see with the “I JUST had that same conversation with my best friend and said the SAME EXACT THING”). It’s as if we are each others other halves. Why do I see this and she doesn’t? Am I being too ideal, or is she being blind?

Like I said, I dated quite a few girls before. This one was far above and beyond “different” than the others. It’s going to be hard to move on from her.

I wonder if I touched her – if only, just once – I’d be telling a different tale?

Thinking like that makes me upset. 14 months down the drain (yeah, sure, I learned a LOT from her, but you know what I mean) because I didn’t lay a FINGER on her? Sorry for trying to take it slow (and we spoke about this too, “taking it slow.” She said she doesn’t believe in “taking it slow” OR “taking it fast.” She just does what she feels is right, and I wasn’t right.)

I don’t even know what to do with myself right now.

I deleted my Facebook when I broke up with my ex. Helped SO many ways. Should I do that again? I don’t want to appear “weak.”

79

Sorry to read that man …
Even if this sounds like shallow clichee, it really is not:
Please don’t obsess. Unrequitted love / strong emotions are horrible, but obsession with it can make you sick and ruin you. I mean it. Stay away from that path.

Right at this moment, there is no easy or quick way to handle or change the situation. Don’t delete your Facebook, even if it helped before, why should you? It would indeed be a “weak” action, because it would be forced on you by the emotional turmoil. It would be destructive action - you need to take constructive action.

Sports, fun with other gals, focus on job/studies … the usual deal.
This experience will change you anyway, let it be for the better - be very conscious of your thoughts and actions the coming weeks - you will probably question/revisit some aspects of your life. Change only if you feel it’s a positive evolution and consequence.
In any case, heed what mobo said:

"You need to cut all contact now for a long time - don’t do or say anything to validate or prove her right or wrong. It may be that after a while she will come running back with a whole new layer of emotions - but if she does, be very careful as they may be quite superficial.

Don’t dwell on this - go call the other girl soon! :slight_smile: It may also help that your inevitable state of emotional detachment after this will help you promote good attraction in her. :slight_smile:"

Perfect advice. All is not lost, but only if you really move on, not just to pretend to in some irrational hope of “…one day soon”
All the best to you!

80

Thanks, man.

I know I’m thinking like a noob, but I just have trouble feeling as if I’ll find a girl that I felt such a strong connection with as I did with her. The connection was INSTANT for me…the day I met her, I was still with my ex, and I was overcome with a feeling of “WHO IS THIS GIRL?” She struck me early and hard.

In my eyes, there is no doubting our compatibility. I feel as if she’s both blind and very, very young and stupid. If I could hit “fast forward,” say, 3 or 4 years, I feel as if she and I would have been together, and it would have been EASY.

It’s going to take some time for me to be able to “get out there” again. Also, I’m an introvert, so that doesn’t really help.

I know with time, this wound will heal. I’m more upset at the fact that she threw away gold b/c all she saw was silver. It’s unfair.