EPIC WTF - The object of my affection tells other women that I'm GAY

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
41

OK I’ve run into this sort of situation a couple of times and there is a third alternative. Granted I happened across it by accident and only after doing the two wrong ways on several occasions.

Option one as stated is to be confrontational, wrong…it shows jealousy and weakness, Gentleman is right on about that.

Option two, do nothing…again wrong as it shows timidity.

Option three however, I had my back to a situation once where a guy was trying to game the girl I was with. Being totally oblivious I turned my head half way to her general direction and called her over. She excused herself from the conversation and came. I didn’t block him, I gave her the opportunity to basically reject him herself and do so in a way that leaves him thinking of me as the one with dominance in the relationship.

Now I don’t recommend snapping your fingers or being overly arrogant about how you do it. You don’t want to call her over in a way that makes her feel like she looks like a slave or anything like that. Simply call her over in a very casual and matter of fact way.
“Hey babe could you come her for a sec, I want you to meet a friend of mine.”
Or “Hey hon, we’re about to go, come on.”
then if she does reward what is basically a light compliance test with some affection by giving her a kiss that makes her feel good about coming over and publicly displays that she answered a BOYFRIENDS call and not just one of her guy friends.
This seems to spare the chest thumping of direct confrontation and the coward appearance of no confrontation and does so in a way that establishes a value ladder.
He displays value that is low in relation to her by being obvious about trying to game her.
You display high value by staying put and expecting (not demanding) that she come to you.
By responding favorably to your call she establishes a value comparison between you and the other guy where her own actions convince her that he’s not worth her time.

[LR] Praise to all things pink and squishy!!!
42

It’s a new situation for me. I’ve dated beautiful women before, but she’s in a whole other league. I’m being as deliberate about everything as I can, though, trying not to lose my head/temper around these guys. Any advice/ experiences /stories about dating younger/hotter women would be much appreciated.

43

With girls like that you just need to have fun with it for example when she asked you’re thoughts you could say something like “It drives me nuts when they do that, I’m not just some pretty face, sheeeeesh” Make it about you not her :slight_smile: Or the guy who says “you look great in those tight jeans” say something like “honey I though these were baggy jeans!!” and point at your pants lol Don’t do it all the time, but every once in a while it can be fun. It lets the guy know you’re together and also get a laugh.

As for a guy putting his hands on her, there’s nothing wrong with you jumping in and putting the guy in his spot. In fact she shouldn’t mind, girls like to feel protected and getting grabbed is a sign of aggression which I don’t go for.

Hope this helps.

44

She’s not in another league, you just put her there, T.

It comes with the territory, I’m afraid; and you’re gonna have to adjust your mindset, or you’re gonna end up pushing or running her away, 'cause the JEALOUSY bit gets old fast!!!

I know it’s hard wanting to hold onto something so lovely, and not lose it to someone else, but unless you increase YOUR MENTAL value, you’re gonna have problems.

Enjoy her, UNDERSTAND that the young ones, mostly, have a different view of things, and roll with it til the thread washes out.

It’s gonna be a job unless you can make those adjustment. Even if you don’t like R&B, listen to the words in the song SPOTLIGHT by Jennifer Hudson. :wink:

Good luck, and if you lose out, there are lots more beautiful women on this big round ball! As the saying goes, ‘BEAUTY IS AS COMMON AS THE SUNRISE. WHAT’S RARE IS INNER BEAUTY MATCHING THE OUTER BEAUTY.’ A beautiful woman that craves attention, will drive someone with your mindset off the cliff.

GOOD LUCK, and I mean that. :wink:

45

I don’t know. . . .I don’t disagree strongly enough to say you’re flat out wrong, but if my bf did that to me, I’d turn and yell back “I’ll be there in a minute.” I think that kind of move still makes a guy look insecure, like he thinks he has something to prove. If a girl is worth your time you shouldn’t feel the need to publicly demonstrate your dominance.

On the other hand if she lingers too long away from you is can be a type of shit test. . . .which she would need to be called on (or forgotten entirely)

Most women CAN take care of themselves in these situations and allowing them to do so proves that you are personally secure and that you trust her. (And trust breeds trust . . .)

46

Then of coarse you’ll meet those hawties that are attention whores and will linger and flirt with every guy that crosses her path. If that’s the case, toss her to the curb she’ll be too much of a headache. Plenty of girls out there :slight_smile:

47

She seems to ignore it all, I get the impression that she’s used to that kind of attention and can handle herself. SHE isn’t the problem, I should have been more clear that my lack of experience with similar situations is the problem so I need to use other peoples experiences as points of reference. I’ve dated beautiful, attractive women before and never had an issue. The problem is that she isn’t “just a pretty face”, she’s often the center of attention wherever we go. The other issue is I’m a short, non-intimidating-looking martial artist who (20 years ago) used to routinely go into bars looking for fights, to “test my skills”. MMA training has replaced that, but when I’m challenged I’m (literally) afraid my first compulsion will be to fight and I don’t want to drive her off by over-reacting. I’m actually going to make a point of speaking with my coaches/trainers about my fear of getting out of control because I think I need more advice than what I can get here. But thanks for everything, everyone. BTW, that “display high value” thing? Scary effective. She makes me the center of attention in public.

48

I think your biggest mistake is you’re putting her to high on a pedestal mate. Be a man and be yourself, you can’t go through life worried you’ll scare her off, she’ll know if you’re not being yourself. She’ll also respect you more since if she is as wonderful as you say every guy probably pussy foots around her. So don’t be like every guy out there. As for getting physically violent with someone talking or whistling at your lady… you may want to get that in check. Maybe therapy or something or take matial arts, meditation.

One thing you can try is touch your thumb and index fingers together close your eyes and think of something funny or something that makes you happy for a few minutes. Do this afew times everyday for a couple weeks, I know it sounds stupid..I use to do this for public speaking vause I would get nervous, after awhile you’ll find everytime you touch your thumb and index finger together you automatically feel good. I know sounds weird but hey…our brains are funny things :slight_smile:

49

Great advice bro :wink:

50

I had one more issue with country girl last night. We were at a country bar and sat down to listen to a band. Well next to her is a couple of guys in their late 40’s early 50’s and they notice her…hell what’s not to notice?
Anyway, guy immediately to her left starts to chat her up. Sees me and introduces himself, I’m sitting back chilling listening to music. He then asks her if she’s married. I know what’s up, he’s checking her status in a “non-chalant” way.

She of course says no, but is clearly using body language to let him know she’s not interested. Doing the ol’…“yeah…but anyway” turn away and start talking to me kind of stuff.

This goes on and off for a bit, he then asks her to dance. I don’t mind, she dances with a lot of older guys when we go out, in general they’re usually really skilled country dancers and she won’t dance with anyone who doesn’t possess those skills.

She’s polite and accepts and they dance on the floor right in front of where we’re sitting. As they start to sit down the guy starts to run kino on her. I know what’s up, she’s astute been in and out of clubs many years, but I know she doesn’t know about kino, and I get a confirmation later that this guy does. (He starts telling us about how his friend ‘games’ women and is so skilled that he never walks out alone. This is the other guy sitting to his left.)

So I’m keeping a watchful eye and she runs off to the bathroom. I already knew once she announced this, drunk cowboy was gonna make his move cuz that area of the bar was really off the beaten path and the hallway gave way for a lot of privacy. I already planned on making my way over there if she didn’t come back in a respectable amount of time.

He’s drunk so he starts to make his move, gets distracted and she’s on her way back when he actually finally makes his way over there. He goes in for a hug to say “thanks for the dance,” and out of the corner of my eye I see her take a step back and he notices her defenses are up and stops in his tracks.

So I excuse myself and walk to the bathroom. I then explained to the gentleman that he could dance with her as much as she wanted to dance, but just be respectful. He starts to ask how he’s being disrespectful. I told him he wasn’t, but just don’t cross any lines.

As the night progresses and he gets drunker, he of course then tells Country Girl I “threatened” him in the bathroom. I said,“no, I told you you could dance with her all you wanted, just be respectful.”

She then says, “You two have this conversation without me” and runs off to the bathroom.

She came back, I didn’t explain myself. I figured it would only make my case look worse. Drunk Cowboy continued to ask her to dance until she finally stopped him in the middle of their dance and he asked why and she said, “because you keep fucking it up.”

But to get back to the point of dating hot women and the kind of shit you have to put up with. I got asked at least 3 times in two hours if we were together.
Never have I noticed a couple in a bar and asked them their status fi they were together talking, drinking and having fun.

Even at one point the band’s singer as he’s leaving just walks over and says, “It was nice meeting you.” They never met. LOL
As he’s walking away I say, “Oh yeah, nice to meet you too.” She busts out laughing and he says, “Oh are you two together.”
I mean come on, we’re the only two at that end of the bar where her stool and legs are situated between mine.
So I say to him, “dude I know, its kind of hard to see past her.” She starts busting out again and he just kind of sheepishly walks off.

We chatted about the whole, “are you two together?” questions we always get. Apparently she’s used to that with the guys she dates. I’ve never experienced it…so whatever.

51

I just wanted to add in a post by itself so it doesn’t get lost in all my chatter…
I like the attention I get walking into a room with a hot chick… its nice to see every head turn and know she’s with me.

So yeah, there are costs to everything in life…and putting up with assholes is one of 'em.

52

Couple things, why do you sit there and watch your girlfriend all night? if you’re gonna hit a bar why don’t you dance with her? or if she is going to go off and dance with other guys you should go chat to some girls.

Also try going clubbing as a group so you have something to do while she is doing whatever. Last thing are you guys together? lol she doesn’t seem to tell guys that she’s with ya. That would bug me.

53

I am actually learning to country dance and as I stated, she won’t dance with someone who can’t country dance.
Now if we go to a regular club, its a whole other issue, no problem there, but she prefers country music.

And no we are not technically together as girlfriend and boyfriend we date. Our understanding is when we go out together, we are together for that night. IF she or I meet someone when out on our own all is fair.
But this is not the first time I’ve had this issue dating hot women. Even with my Ex who was the youngest out of all of them would constantly get hit on guys where we worked and I would see it all day long. Also because of the age difference, younger guys figured she was easy pickings to take from me, or guys my age figured that gave them a shot.

Age in the end is not a big issue for women when they truly feel a connection with a guy and you’re not making a big deal out of it and worrying that she’s gonna run off with someone more in her age range. Once you start that, you’re gonna lose the battle. You start to live in a world of lack and become clingy and needy and that is what will eventually turn them off.

54

There’s your problem right there, from the way you talk you come across as if she was your hot wife or something. I personally don’t understand what this means “if we are out together then we stay together?” is this something you made up in your head?

I hope you’re at least getting laid for the headache she’s giving ya. I would ask if she wants to be exclusive and if not move on, don’t be a puppet and let her string you along.

and yes she is easy pickings since you’re NOT together.

55

The more I read this thread, the more I wonder why you are so hung up on gaming women at your workplace? That is sh*tting where you eat. It seems like all of your attempts center around the hospital, which is something that I’ve seen other people in the medical profession do: only flirt with colleagues then turn into socially awkward recluses once they exit the hospital. There are other women outside. This isn’t I Am Legend, you know.

The alternatives you name to Astro chick also work at the hospital. Also, if the rumor that you’re gay is going around the hospital, then you have to overcome that when dealing with them as well. So why not find a hot chick from outside the hospital, bang her, then occasionally have her come up to see you on your break at the hospital? Then, your rumored gay status will be lifted since they’ll see that you do have a straight sex life outside work.

Also, you need to stop acting so beta. You mention that you do wrestling and MMA. Maybe you need to get under the iron a little more and go up a weight class. The extra testosterone would be worth its weight in gold. Every scenario that you describe involves you taking the beta route. For example, a chick goes around slandering your name by calling you gay and you just sit there taking it, afriad that if you defend yourself that you could get in trouble. BETA. You’ve been cupcaking with the same female for over 2 years without banging her. BETA. I could go on, but just because she’s cerebral and likes astronomy doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want a manly man. And the first manly man thing you can do is take this chick out of consideration and confront her. Next, go out and find you a female thats 100% cooperative and bang her.

This is tough love, bro. You really need to start focusing on the other elements of your game instead of thinking that pheromones alone will provide a quick fix to the situation. Any pheromone mix that could fix your problem by itself would be too expensive to maintain long-term and would absolutely interfere with everybody’s productivity at work. And the other problem you have is that even if you were to get a mix that would do all the work for you, you still have to have the courage to push forward and exploit the opening when it comes. What you need is to practice your assertiveness.

56

Let me clarify… We date. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. We are not in a committed relationship by choice (WITH EMPHASIS I DO NOT WANT AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP)…mine as well I made that perfectly clear up front that I want to date other women.

I’ve been through two somewhat serious relationships in the past 3 years. One with my ex, the other with Steeler Girl which got too intense too fast and lasted for about 6 months.

When I say that we’re together when we are out, that means that we are on a date and out of respect we don’t game others or take numbers. That is the discussion we had, it is not something I made up in my head LOL. As I stated in another post somewhere else here on this board, at 44 I’m at a point in my life where I set up where I am at, what I want right from the get go in my personal and business life.

I have a few other prospects that I’m working on. I don’t know if Country Girl is someone I want for a long term partner. But right now it seems we keep gravitating toward each other for company whether or not its out of convenience and laziness or if its because we truly do value each others company so much.

I mentioned her in a post in the lounge. This girl has options to go out with a number of guys each and every week. And to be brutally honest, some are far more attractive and successful than I am. In fact, I’m not her typical type.

I am a 44 year old white man who even though I’ve lost a ton of weight, I’m still about 40 pounds or so over weight.
She has dated the rainbow coalition, but over the last 4+ years, her tastes have inclined more towards darker meat…and I’m about as white bread as they come and only 5 foot 6 1/2 inches. Her past relationships all include guys 5 10 and up, and some buff, or big football player types.

So I consider I must be doing things right in all areas of our dating life, whether its in the car, in the bar or on the bed because when 2 guys are calling her to go out, she’s calling ME to go out.

I also think it has something to do with me being so vastly different than her typical types. I ride a bike, as do most of her other guys and grew up in the city, but spent my summers on the farm and at the lake, hunting, fishing etc. So I’ve got the masculine thing going down, but I’m also cultured in that I love the arts, so I can sing Hank Williams or a show tune depending upon my mood. It is this contrast I bring to the table that I think is so interesting and intriguing for her. All of her guys in the past are macho guys without a whole lot going on in life, or in their head. Their big goal in life is to move up on the hourly scale at their job. Now I’m not demeaning good hard workers…but I’m involved in charity work, I travel, I speak, I am also an extremely talented poker player who’s been quoted in articles and books by some of the most well known professionals out there.
Edited to add something…
The one you refered to as easy pickings. That was my girlfriend of over 2 years..you mixed up the two. Right now, sad to say but Country girl at the age of 30 is the oldest of women I’ve dated in a very long time.
I am moving my age range up because with my girlfriend, the immaturity and emotional issues that went along with that were a bit much to deal with. She was hella hot tho’. LOL

57

Good insight here man…great post. Welcome back.

58

Thanks, thegentleman!

59

Sounds like she thinks you’re one of her girlfriends lol anyhow I think we have beat this horse to death, you must be looking for someone to tell you want you want to hear. I don’t know but I’ve given you my two cents worth. Good luck with it.

60

LOL I don’t need anyone to tell me what I want to hear, and you might wanna look into some kind of reading for comprehension classes because you’re seriously confused.I came here to give Texas Pete advice on how to date hot women because I’ve got experience in that area. I am truly happy where I am at in my life, and with who I’m spending my time with.