is it socially unacceptable or retarded to hit on women cold during the day?

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Hi guys, i will admit that i am struggling with the whole frustrating concept of how to meet women. I can have the worlds greatest -mone bomb, an dit dont mean squat if there aint no chicky babes to hit on.

So my question is this, " Is it borderline insanity to be hitting on girls in supermarkets, as they lie on the beach, at the bank tellers, etc. Is it a social “no no”? is it morally and ethically wrong or unfair to women? For i don’t notice anyone else doing it.

The prevailing attitude in Australia, [and Anglo cultures in general], is that guys meet girls through friends, or through a network, at work, or an introduction service. The problem with the “oh i met her through me mate Billy” theory, is when your primary social group r all single males in the same predicament. So if b some miracle, they know a girl, damed if im getting the intro…haha, they’ll go for her themselves.

So what do i see n Sydney? millions of other guys who somehow, miraculously to me, already know a bevvy of hot girls, or r dating them. R these guys good looking? not particularly…so they must be rich right? not neccesarily. Maybe the girls on here can tell me the secret? because i aint seeing no guys ANYHWERE hit on chicks in the fruit and veg section, in the bank, on the trains, etc…At night? well the very good looking guys r picking up the defensive ladies of the bar and club scene.

Guys ill confess - i am actually very lucky. I have found the potential for paradise on earth. I live in the city with the worlds most beautiful women. It is not debatable, anyone whose been to Australia will agree - it is fact. I have travelled the universe and i stand by my statement : “Sydney has the worlds most beautiful women”. They r literally everyhwere, and seem to utnmber guys by at least 2:1…blonde, leggy, porn stars walk the streets by day, Centrefolds stalk the shadows of the night. I should feel blessed right? Well yes, if only they were open to being approached cold.

The dominant cultural attitude is this: “i dont know u, we havent been introduced, y should i talk to you?”…so yes, the times i do hit on girls on the street with a lethal -mone combo. on, i feel that its crazy…here, if u want to meet girls, u do it at night in a bar or club. Great, the girls r even more defensive than during the day.

So just interested in peoples opnions here. Is it crazy or slightly socipathic to be harassing girls by trying to hit on them in Aisle 3, on the trains, at the ATM, at the beach etc. It is also very very frustrating looking for it during he day, “being on the prowl”, so to speak…is it a cultural issue? r American girls open to being hit on by strangers in day to day venues?

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You see that on TV and in movies :stuck_out_tongue:

K

3

The way I see it is this… I don’t really care if it’s the social norm to hit on chicks in everyday life. If it works, you’re all set. If not, you’re never gonna see that girl again. What do you have to lose?

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This is what gets me. It’s not impossible, seeing that other guys are doing just that. :slight_smile:

I think what you need to do is turn into a sociologist and study the successful guys. They’re not particularly rich or good-looking, so what is it about them that makes them successful?

Study how they approach. If you’re approaching from a different angle, why? You’re failing; they’re succeeding. What are you doing differently?

Not being snarky or anything, Mahalo. Just trying to help out. :slight_smile:

On trains or public transport in general, people tend to clam up tight. Nobody talks to anybody, unless you accidentally stand on a foot or something. :roll_eyes: :slight_smile:

I was on a train once taking a trip that lasted 4 hours. Not a peep from anyone on the entire train.

At the beach, you might have better luck with tourists. Tourists let their guard down on holiday, believe me. They’re here to have fun.

Musk

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approachanxiety.com - read some of the old posts and guides. and read some of steveo’s older posts

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here in the states its totally acceptable to meet people during the day running errands and such.

i literally had a guy leave a note on my car because we had said hello in passing at the grocery store but i was just going in,he was walking out.

i dont think any of us in the states can really tell you whats comfortable where you live, there are habituating standards everywhere, even if i think they are silly.

if your attitude is one of carefree-what-can-i-lose,
i say go for it.
live a little.

you want a chick who digs you for you anyway,
less troubles.

7

Sophisticated city girls may not want to be “hit” on, if hit means a stranger coming up to them with an ulterior motive to get them to do something. Some may take it as an ego boost that a male is expressing interest. However, if it happens very often it is just a nuisance. Like those pesky little Australian flys you have to keep brushing away.

On the other hand, we are social creatures and interacting with others is generally ok anywhere. If you can make the interaction special or interesting for the other person, they may respond positively.

My advice to you is not to “hit” on anyone. Especially in Oz, where in my experience the culture is very straightforward. I’ve found Aussie city girls to be quite open to interactions during their everyday activities. I never went to any bars or pick-up places down under so I wouldn’t know about behaviors there.

I suggest that, in addition to your pheromones, you have something unique about your apparel or appearance that gives an easy conversational opening if someone wants to make one. Also, take an opportunity to interact, be it holding open a door for someone, commenting on the weather, asking for the time, etc. By providing these openings, if there is interest it allows the other person to continue the interaction. But I wouldn’t push anything beyond the point where the other person is having fun or starts to feel like they’re being used.

Lose the goal orientation and have fun. Step outside your comfort zone to do something nice for someone and then walk away with no expectation. Others around you will start having fun too, and want to continue the interactions.

G-day mate, and no worries!

8

This IMHO is the crucial point (with my particular emphasis being here on the word people). In fact, it’s totally acceptable in the UK, and all European countries I can think of right now, to strike up a conversation with a stranger during the day, and I daresay it’s the case with Australia too!

Mahalo, what I’m getting at is, perhaps try a little reframe of the situation. Rather than “is it socially unacceptable or retarded to hit on women cold during the day?” try “is it socially unacceptable or retarded to talk to women cold during the day?” Of course it isn’t; maybe “hitting on” a woman blatantly in the daytime as such is not a very promising strategy, but pickup guides like the Mystery Method, etc., don’t advise that you telegraph sexual interest at the initial meeting anyway.

OK, I’m not saying, even with that reframe, it’d be easy… in fact I know myself it isn’t, when you’re attracted to someone, cos different parts of the brain kick in than those involved when talking to a guy you meet in the street, or an old lady who reminds you of your gran, etc.

9

I’d say that any sane woman will reply with a smile if she feels you are not trying to talk her into sex right from the start.
Many girls think (or know?) that all that guys want is sex, which is not what they want in daily common places.

Would you go and talk to a woman you’ve never seen before and say “excuse me, could you bend a little so that I can fuck you on the cart ?” ? or “would you like me to help you put these heavy bags in the boot ? and later well, you’re welcome, what about fucking now?” I hope not.
this is an obvious example. girls are so subtle that they can see what you’re looking at, and so what you’re looking for !

So what ? YES, you can do whatever you want, provided you do it correctly, so that you don’t go across their vision of what is acceptable. And what is acceptable is respect. In daily life, you can meet anyone and get a relationship, either friendship or love, provided you’re patient, respectful, and that you’re interested in others.

the first thing that one needs to get something is to GIVE.
So many people don’t understand that.

Be patient.
Think of what you have to give.
Think of how you can give it properly.
Give.

Intelligent and worth people will give you back.

10

Aussie chicks prefer to be hit on at the pub :smiley:

K

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Jesus, man. I’m basically a sociologist. You don’t need to be one and as always I will say that you don’t need to do that pick up artist BULLCRAP that you’re going to be steered towards by many of the people on this board. Why do people make this sound so hard? Yes, I have it easy… maybe too easy, because I am around so many women so often that I now have trouble discriminating between “just friends” friendly, “coworker” friendly, and “sex-me-up” friendly. I hit on and work with 100’s of women all day, every day. I hit on and flirt with fat women, old women, ugly women… sometimes I attract the attention of women I’m not really interested in, and it’s probably a bad habit that’s going to get me in trouble one day. I recently hit on a physicians wife while he was standing next to us, and I thought nothing of it. He didn’t say anything until i started hitting on the 60 year old lady on the other side of me… “No really, Pete, do you have to hit on EVERYONE? What the HELL?” …cashiers, teenagers, strangers in line…it’s all meaningless, and I have to stop myself sometimes. But what’s my point? Approach Anxiety… For christ sake… “approach” is a non issue unless you have no reason to approach someone, SO if this is an issue, make one up (that is not so fricking contriced) or just suck it up and move on…
"Hey, cool watch… awesome cell phone… is that a Betty Bang Bikini? Hi, (SMILE) I’m sorry but I just can’t stop staring at your fingernails, do you do them yourself? (or shoes or lips or mascara)… WHAT TIME IS IT? …Are the tomatoes supposed to be soft or firm? Is that purse real? I thought that suntan lotion was recalled… Next, move on to a joke or story. then ask questions. Be subtle. Stand close. Respond to and mirror her behavior. Make more jokes, suggest that she make one or share a story “I bet you’ve had the same problem…” Smile.
And on that train…4 hours? jokes are easy. You can memorize them and don’t have to be original.
On that train, Texas Pete would have laughed and said “JESUS CHRIST, WHAT IS THIS, A CHURCH?”…then I’d start on the church jokes… then we’d gradually get raunchier…
I’m not in Australia, but really, it’s just not that hard.
I recently stumbled into a group of women sitting in a hallway at work and only one (the hottest) was unfriendly. She sat in the group, cross legged, arms crossed. So I pulled up a chair, turned it around, straddled it, and sat across from her. When i leaned towards her she turned away. When I spoke to her she tightened up her arms across her chest. Then, when I sat in the chair like her and precisely mirrored her position, and alternated between talking to all the women directly around her, making them laugh and imitating her physically… 5 minutes passed and suddenly she was laughing and her arms/legs were uncrossed. Am I a pick up artist? Did I get her number? No and no. I honestly just didn’t care how she reacted, and wanted to see if that would work on her or if she was upset. She just didn’t know me and didn’t want to be hit on by some strange guy.

I often ask women why they’re doing what they’re doing - “Your arms are crossed - so either you’re cold, you don’t want to be here, or you want to be left alone. Do you want me to leave you alone?” Sound like a lame pick up line? It isn’t, because I’m genuine, sincere, and straight to the point…and I’ve established a reason for them to talk to me. That particular “line” works in any environment that is cold. Telling them that if they uncross their arms they will warm up is an easy way to get them to do just that - warm up to you.

There are tons of ways to approach people, but the whole “dealing with approach anxiety” thing is a load of crap, just like all of the “pick up artist” stuff. I’m tired and rambling - my apologies - but the bottom line is that if you don’t have (or can’t create) a legitimate reason to approach someone, don’t do it.

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Rule number 1. It’s starts with you before you walk out the door. You go first. If you are in shitty mood and have shitty attitude, then just stay home.

is it socially unacceptable or retarded to hit on women cold during the day? That’s not a great question to ask yourself or to think about. Try asking yourself better questions and you will get better results.

Ross Jeffries Gold Walkups

13

in NY it is really easy…I talk to women everywhere I go it does not matter. supermarkets, post office, subways, trains, streets, deli’s, best buy, barnes and noble, doctor’s offices, you name it!!! anywhere you go,

and at night - bars, clubs,

the only time it is tough to talk to women is when they are wearing the damn ipod becuase they are in their own world other then that there are just some simple guidelines:

  1. Smile

  2. Be confident

  3. talk about something they are wearing

there is no magic bullet or trick, and you can read all the books but unless you go out and do it, will not matter, I think as long as you do not come off as a pervert and are decent looking and dressed nice, have good hygiene(good breath), and smell nice, after that talk to 10 women in one day and guarantee you will get at least one number

14

imediately after reading this i recalled watching a television show as a teenager about the guys that modeled for romance-novel-covers.
you know, the huge,buff,rediculously chisled features,ect.
on stage, they looked unreal.
the questions posed to them was how they dealed with real life,
going to the grocery store and wanting small talk with people,and how women reacted.
one of the guys-
Fabio probably-
grabbed a woman in her 60’s in the audience
and said,“like this”
and swept her off her feet.
he totally made her day, in 1 minute flat.

texas pete’s behaviour reflected the attitude on this stage.

women love compliments/attention.
positive, lighthearted ,genuine attention.

if anyone reacts negatively to that,
there is something seriously wrong with them and its best you move on :wink:

15

you damn right. unless you live in fascist, commie, nazi type of country get on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich

btw, i freaking hate people who are always wearing ipods. :angry:

16

you know, in France, girls (and women, but mostly girls) are not really approachable unless you LOOK awesome and seem to be quite unaproachable. I usually have the impression to be in a cold country. When you start making conversation, they just look at you like “who the hell are you ? do you know who I am ?” like a starlette…

Read the mystery method, I found it very interesting to learn from…

And many women look for the same in life as what they believe in, and what they believe in is what is told in movies, series and so on.

DARE !

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It was just a suggestion, Texas. :slight_smile: It’s what worked for me - studying why some guys were successful and seemed to have girls fighting over them when others struggled or resigned themselves to celibacy, barring a lucky break.

I took a long hard look at myself and changed my outward appearance and attitude, with the help of pheromones - especially A314. Now, I’ve got no trouble, unless you count unwanted attention from ‘unavailable’ women, who I seem to attract like flies to…

I’m no PUA, either. I just have an interest in psychology and love studying how people interact and what makes them tick. I thought it would help the OP, that’s all.

Public transport’s a b**** though. Always has been. Maybe it’ll work where you’re from, but not here. shrug

Musk

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Seriously dude… who gives a toss about what’s socially accepted? You can’t sit around and wait for the perfect person to just fall on you lap, you have to take whatever opportunity that may come up and just go for it! :slight_smile:

If you think about it…the unwritten rules of society change all the time, and especially now that people tend to move around a lot more. Cultures and attitudes mix… Heck, in the late 80’s & early 90’s it was considered dodgy to meet someone through online dating… I heard a news report just the other week that stated that in the UK almost 1/3 of marriages nowadays are the result of online dating! :roll_eyes:

19

we already don’t like the french

20

There is actually some decent material out there on “day game”

I know alot of guys who actually prefer hitting on girls during the day - simply because the quality of girl that you interact with is much easier to control.

Google “Doc Holliday Day Game” his blog has a fair bit of good information/tricks/tips on how to meet women with a Cold Approach during the day. It’s all direct game too, none of this beating around the push trying to create attraction without letting them know you’re into them.

Just a quick note - My hometown has a similar culture where almost everybody meets anybody through somebody they know - It’s because Winnipeg is a place where not many people leave… and not many people come - If you really have a problem with cold approaching women during the day join some groups (salsa lessons, hobby classes, book clubs, etc) for something that interests you and something that might interest the ladies - meet people there.