It's Macho To Stand Up For Women..

Lounge
1

Hi Everyone!
The ‘White Ribbon’ campaign (in Malaysia) is about men standing up against voilence against women. The United Nations has designated November 25th as International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. The objective of the campaign is to encourage men to speak out, and not to condone, encourage or commit any forms of violence against women. The list of violence against women is long and it includes marital rape, domestic violence and battery during pregnancy. Among other cases are rape, child sexual abuse, incest, child prostitution, date rape, sex-selective abortion and forced prostitution.

Studies on such acts indicate:

  • women are at greatest risk of violence from men they know,
  • physical abuse in intimate relationships is almost always accompanied by severe psychological and verbal abuse,
  • sosial institutions put in place to protect citizens too often blame, or ignore, battered women.

Men need to understand that this is an issue that affects everyone, not just women, but most men tend to think otherwise. In some cultures where the issue of masculinity is sometimes wrongly identified with self-centredness, aggression and seeing females as sex objects, which is why we need to change the perception. All men everywhere, need to appreciate the value of women, finest creation of God in a form of ‘true art’ which reflex beauty, grace and elegance, and worth so much more…

Thank you. May God bless us all.

Mohammad

  • a volunteer of MERCY (Malaysian Medical Relief Society)
2

As a battered wife for nearly 8 years, I totally applaud this.

I survived, and have managed to turn everything around for myself, thanks to “The Man” and the endless support of friends and family, but many do not, and domestic violence is an issue that people tend to sweep under the carpet rather than proactively help to eradicate.

Here in Scotland, the horrific statistics as of last month are:

One in three = a member of either sex is a victim of domestic violence.

One in five = divorced.

Not a very nice world we are bringing kids into..

Ail :slight_smile:

3

I did work for a Womens refuge/shelter in Australia, mainly legal consulation with women who were abused by thier partners, what I found very disturbing was women were not willing to charge or prosecute thier partners. Often women would leave thier abusive domestic enviroment, enter a refuge for a few months, (mind you, these centres were not the happiest of places and could hardly be called refuges) then go back to thier partner, only to to be abused again and re enter the centre, it was a vicious cycle that would often go on for years.

Mohammad, this United Nations campaign has been around for awaile and it’s main aim is to address the problem in third world countries, the abuse of women and girls in third world countries is at pandemic proportions, look up the statistics for India alone, it’s often culturally related.

By the way, the true definition of ‘Abuse’ against women by thier male partners, goes beyond physical violence.

4

That’s the nature of women, Bronzie…we can’t ‘change’ others but only ourselves. Hope you continue contributing your efforts regarding the issue..

Mohammad

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Dear Ail,
I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone thru all those years. As a volunteer of a Humanitarian Aid organization, I know what it is and have seen many ‘unpleasant’ things in my work. For decades the victims’ plea were ignored and their cries were unheard. The psychological effects on the victims alone are sometimes unspeakable…and right measures need to be taken by all levels regarding the issue..

“Whosoever offends an innocent person, pure and guiltless, his evil comes back on that fool himself like fine dust thrown against the wind” - Buddha (563-483 BC)

Thanks

Mohammad

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That’s pretty good, scots must be family people.

It is like 45% here are divorced in first 3 yrs.

Makes it sound more like a consumable, than a committment requiring effort.

7

i know someone that works in a shelter in newengland.
she tells me most of who she sees in there will go back to the abuser.
from what i have seen, in the states there is something “romantic” about staying with someone even if its killing you. commitment for some (including my sister at one time) means being more commited to the relationship than to yourself.

8

Mohammad,
it is clear to me you are a person who “walks their talk” and lives as he speaks… smile
(many here that would applaud you and say the perception of sex objects in women is wrong are also posting about their latest conquest and how much “physical attention -for lack of better words -” they aim to get with the pheromones.)

9

Mohammad, it’s not the nature the nature of women to not report their abusive partners, but their situation and environment that dictates their behavior.

Lor, there is nothing romantic about staying with an abusive partner, the girls that hang around are psychologically trapped with no escape, for many it’s almost saddo masochistic.

10

I always have to shake my head when I watch the TV show Cops (here in the USofA) where you see the police trying to arrest some guy for wailing on his girl and said woman hobbles up, often in a cast (I remember arms and legs both), with bandages, cuts and bruises from previous encounters begging them not to take him away to jail because “they love him.”…

There is just something terribly terribly wrong there.

.

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Bronzie, you may be right from that perspective but women’s behaviors (from my observations) are very, very ‘complicated’ and have not being ‘fully understood’ by men since the day they exist.

The campaign, known as 16 Days of Activism, is traditionally on from today, which is International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, to Dec 10, which is World Human Rights Day. Originating in Canada in 1989 to commemorate the massacre of 14 women in Montreal, the campaign is a worldwide initiative taken thru out the world.

Personnally, I believe men are not naturally violent, but due to society’s influences and condonement, they ‘learn’ to express their anger and insecurities by being aggressive. We must look into ourselves to find out the reason for our aggression. However, we can stop being silent but to act to end violence against women, as well as all humans…

Ail, Lor, thanks for the remarks…you people are SWEET!:stuck_out_tongue::slight_smile:

“One may conquer in battle a thousand times a thousand men, yet he is the best of conquerors who conquers himself” - Buddha

Have a nice day,

Mohammad :slight_smile:

12

Mohammad, womens behaviour is very complicated because you do not understand them. However, this is not the reason why they will not prosecute thier abusive partners, that part we know. We understand the interpersonal dynamics behind this, but it’s very difficult for a woman that is at the centre of this to take action, they are overwhelmed to the point of paralisis

13

help me understand MYSELF! :smiley:

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They say, ‘Can’t live with them, can’t live without them’!:smiley:

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Something strange just occured to me.
I believe the only time i remember men actually standing up for me, they were VERY ummm full of 'none? They were the typical alpha male,in every occasion.

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Goes against the sterotype ?.

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Heh.. -none and alpha you said? Typically its androsterone (A314) that promotes that. Perhaps a true alpha male has a good combination of both and not just dominantly one.

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dont get me wrong, i DIG the 'rone in a big way, but when i thought of them, they were alpha but overtly sexual. so i thought 'none. :o

19

So where do you draw the line between helping and budding in? meaning you see a couple that is arguing and you see the body language of the man start to turn violent, he hasnt hit her but he looks like he is about to. Do you interven or look the other way? the reason i ask this is because i know a couple of woman that were abused in relationships, and to them had someone intervened it would have made it worse..

20

Having been a victim for so many years, I would say NEVER look away.

Over here we have “Zero Tolerance,” which came into play far too late for me in many respects, but what it basically means is that action is taken on any and ALL signs of abuse reported.

It has worked phenomenally since its inception in 2000, and although abuse, which takes MANY forms as those of us who have been in that situation are far more qualified to state than those who have not, is still rife on a worldwide basis, “Zero Tolerance” certainly yields great results.

If you think something is wrong - step in.
If you hear an argument that gets heated WAY above the norm - step in.
If you hear or SEE someone being abused, beyond all doubt - step in.

Believe me, I wished many, many, MANY times people had stepped in

It’s usually very easy to tell in public for example, if events could take a nasty turn, and believe me, the woman or man who is the victim will be VERY grateful you did stop and look twice.

It will never make it worse, no matter what those women believe, because you make damn sure the victim is taken WELL away from the perpetrator, no matter what the victim says.

Abuse is largely about control, mind-games and power, and that cycle needs to be broken completely.

How did the cycle end for me?

Well, I was dead, and that’s the hard, blunt truth. Strangled with a PC power cable. Another minute and that would have been it, but my ex-husband knew what he’d done and bolted. Had it not been for his worried friend feeling very uneasy, and coming back to check after he witnessed a massive row earlier in the day, then reviving me - I would not be here today.

Since I am, I’m pretty sure it’s for a damn good purpose, and that is one of the reasons I live every day now as if it is my last.

After all, one day I WILL be right..

Ail :slight_smile: