I am not here by chance. I have been married for quite a while, when we were younger, not that I am old, I am 35, my husband always wanted me, the sex was crazy!!!
Then after some years of marriage ,I started to notice that I don’t really turn him on anymore, and then, I noticed he did not have interest in me at all…Then, the devastating news, that he has been actually sleeping with somebody else. Now, I want him back. No he has no intention of leaving me, or divorcing, no…But I want him back as a man.I want the passion back. And I want my family back, we have two wonderful children, and we had a good family before. Everything started with the sex, or better said not enough passion in it.And then, the chain reaction, lyes, seing me as a bitch, because of my suspiciousness, tears, arguments, and so on…
I have already ordered Instant sexiness B and Instant Shine, both in To Go formats.
But I am new, and I need help and advice.
I think you’ve picked up some great starter items. I’d say see how he reacts with those, and maybe pick up Instant Openness and Instant Honesty to help your communication barriers. Some users have reported that a large amount of IH can have very interesting effects on people who have a tendency to lie- a sort of cognitive dissonance that you might be able to take advantage of.
Best of luck and welcome! I applaud your willingness to work towards the benefit of your family and instead of totally condemning your partner for infidelity, you simply want to return his attention. : ) Awesome.
Best of luck and welcome! I applaud your willingness to work towards the benefit of your family and instead of totally condemning your partner for infidelity, you simply want to return his attention. : ) Awesome.
Believe me, its is very complicated, and it goes much deeper than described in the topic. However, his unwilingness to let us go, show me that there is something there…and that I should try more…Yes I have made a lot of mistakes, especially with my crying and blaming him, I completely shut him down.Also my prolonged depression didn’t help either. And the problem is he wants to have us both.Apparently the other woman is ok with that, which I can’t say about myself. I am not made this way. All he has to say to me is,“I am done with the other woman, period”. Which is a complete lye. My best bet is to somehow influence him with sex and pheromones up to the step when he would be willing to go to therapy…
I will post here the results, see if it helps.
Spoken like a typical male. wonder if the same would have been said if this was the men’s side of the forum about a cheating wife
ANYWAY OP what you should first do is make sure he has a clean bill of health. Not just HIV, the whole panel of STDs, you’d be surprised by the things Ive seen in the hospital mostly due to cheating partners in a marriage. wife/husband completely clueless on how they ended up infected
after that’s out of the way and yes you must start inspecting genitals for outbreaks
in regards to pheremones
IH is important..it will help with communication. IO too. thing is pheremones act faster on strangers than those you’re very farmiliar with so this might take some time.
after that you will have to search for EOW(Essence of a woman). Couplins will help alot and since you’re mid 30s you need to use more than usual..perhaps 8-10 drops
Also look into TUTH(Turn Up The Heat) for his pillow that should increase the sex
Now again IH is important to find out if ths woman was meant for sex or there’s an emotional bond..esp when he’s telling you he wants to keep you BOTH..whatever that means..
Thank you so MUCH Sarafina!!!
Everything is fine with my, and his health.No worries here.
However, I know for a fact that he hooked up with the other woman for sex.Than came the emotinal bond between them. BUT…I wasn’t here..I was far away when this happened…He was alone, needed sex, needed a friend…And I know he loved me very much…Than…I would start to feel that he doesn’t react to me the way he normally would…and…well…here is the result…
I am still waiting for my bottles to come, hopefully tonight.I first came across the Arouse XS on Amazon, ordered, but, now I can see that that I should have done my research first.Though, the first day I used it, he said that I must have done something different to my eyes, lol;
Now I am waiting for the real stuff to come…
..And, yes I also ordered IO and IH…So lets see what happens next…
Something drove him into the otherwoman’s arms… the old saying goes.. "All is fair in love and war " In this war for love, lets get to the root cause which gave the other woman the advantage !
No one can tell you what that problem is except through very candid introspection. Now lets not get in to right or wrong.. I am not looking at the right wrong aspects at all. just raw reasons/ possible temptations. These causes may go deeper than just crying and being accusing.. all that happened after you discovered the affair. but what caused it in the first place ?
Did u let go after 2 children…gained a few pounds ? how did he loose interest in sex ? Does he have some secret kink which he is probably ashamed to admit to you but wouldnt mind enacting with a strange woman..et etc.. it could be anything..
once you identify these problem area, fix it. act casually, be happy (instant Shine would help you there. it also projects a younger aura and others feel happier around you).. less confrontation, be a chirpy bird.. also try not to be a door mat.. find activities of interest outside your common life.. take it up.. be engaged… essentially DO NOT SIT AND BROOD. instead take on life with full gusto as if nothing happened..keep on using instant shine and instant sexiness and soon hopefully we would find our guy discovering a renewed interest in you… and he may find it easier to comeback pretending that nothing happened rather than a confession on knees..
Since you are determined in salvaging the relationship… which I think is a very good idea… temptations can happen for anyone (both men and women) in a relationship.. there is no right or wrong about it …just circumstances.. true relationships grow over and around it
I hope things workout well for you..and sometimes in the future you two can look back at the past and laugh it off
I’m more inclined to suggest you test a selection of these fine instruments on the scumbag:
http://www.bridgat.com/files/Veterinary_Instruments.jpg
Something drove him into the otherwoman’s arms… the old saying goes.. "All is fair in love and war " In this war for love, lets get to the root cause which gave the other woman the advantage !
Well, let’s start that the other woman was giving him sex when I wasnt here, plus sex in three, which I knew was a fantacy of his, but not something I am capable of doing.
She gave him complete admiration, did not expect anything from him.Meaning, she would be his slave, would do ABSOLUTELY anything he wanted.He liked it, beng the King of the World.
Me on the other hand, I was different and he was proud of that.Honest, fatheful, I admired him, but did not know the real him, I expected him to treat me with respect.Many times I remeber him telling me that I am a Good Quality Woman.He was telling me how smart he was for marrying me.I could not understant what he meant by that, at that time.Then, I saw him loosing interest in everything, no flowers on aniversaries, birthdsas was just a day in calendar, and so on. And remeber, I wasn’t here, he was visiting me untill I would be avle to get here.Which took several YEARS!!!6 YEARS!!!
So, now he thinks that the way he treated the other lady is the right way.Meaning, she was a doormat…I often think that nmaybe its better if I find somebody else. But I am scared. Of being alone, of being dissapointed again, scared that I would not be able to fall in love…But on the other hand scared to be trapped in marriage full of lyes, no passion, no respect, and no love.
Believe me, very often I thought of that!
Ouch. Just gonna put it out there, but I’m not a typical male. I’m homosexual, and have taken enough womens studies classes to wear my feminist badge proudly. I just think think that in long term relationships, ‘cheating’ is culturally overblown in society. Just because you are in a relationship/married/whatever, doesn’t mean that you stop being attracted to everyone else (Don’t you check out others when you’re in a relationship?) My stance is that in 6 years, if someone cheats once, then they’ve done a great job at every other moment than that one cheating time- it’s hard, and I grant applause to all sexes and genders in working through issues like this.
Both sexes have their instinctual tendency to cheat- males want to procreate as much as possible, and females want to have a beta male take care of themselves and their kids, but an alpha male will produce more healthy young, generally. So for females it made sense in evolution to cheat on their beta male mate and trick them into raising someone else’s young. Given our instinctual urges to do this (and enough cases in modern society to prove these urges aren’t totally gone,) I think we’re all due a little understanding.
Plus, our introductee here has a family- she has more motivation than just her own personal feelings for her spouse. The checking-out-his-health tip is a great one, I’ve not been in this situation, but it seems so vital now.
just defending’ : )
..OK..delocc, got your point, you are right.
But, I can’t think like that when it comes to me.Maybe I shoul try.Though I do remeber him telling me something about the excitement of having someone new…
Well, I just got my magic bottles.I have tried on Instant Shine.I have it on me for about an hour, I am alone so I can only tell about my feelings.The smell is a little bit masculine, but I like it.I am the floral-fresh type.The mood…can’t really say, because I KNOW how it is supposed to be.Yes, I am energetic, an so on, but I don’t know if this is from the pheromones, or from the fact that I know I am wearing them…Lets lee what happens in theevening , when I add IO and IS…
Oop, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean for my last message to come off as attacking you- I think what you’re doing is fantastic, keep us informed!
Hi ihope,
I really hope something helps you with your situation, whether it’s these products or counselling or no-bullshiting yourself introspection. You should perhaps figure out exactly what you want and why you want it, and make damn sure it doesn’t cost you too much, and by cost I mean your sanity and mental health.
It’s a shame how society has sold monogamy as normal sexual behaviour since it is a relatively recent social construct and in my opinion it has screwed up more relationships, self-esteems, families and people in general than polygamy or polyamory ever has. When my husband and I got married, we pledged to be faithful to each other, but this in no way have anything to do with sex, or controlling the other’s behaviour or body parts. Marriage is not about control, or at least it shouldn’t be.
Sex can be a lot of things - different things for different people. Consider what it is you want it to mean to you. You say you’re not “built” that way, but perhaps it will help to think about other alternatives. And yes, make sure he gets tested - people can be stupid about STD protection.
" Marriage is not about control, or at least it shouldn’t be."
KEY WORD-CONTROL!!!
This is the mistake a made!!!
Wearing Instant Shine for 2 hours and 15min.I like the smell, it feels good…real good…I typically don’t like masculine scents, but I like this one…IT FEELS GOOD…
You still have a penis so you’re a male.
The fact that after her trying to change things around he’s talking about “keeping them both”, I dont know what to tell you. Maybe you can come up with another excuse for your fellow male.
Then you have aqnother one going on about gaining pounds after children. God Forbid you dont loose that in 2 weeks like Hiedi Klum and the others. rolls eyes
Anyway Im not gonna change the point of the thread around
ihope, ever wonder if this other woman is using pheremones herself lol. is she younger?
People tend to get self effects from IS so maybe that’s what it is
Personally IS didnt do anything for me. I prefer IO
Hi Sarafina!
You know what, I am thinking that she has her own pheromones, that are pretty strong. No she is not younger, in fact I am really much more beautiful than her. Its not just my opinon, its everybody’s opnion…Even my husband admitted that she is…not beautiful…In fact, when I saw her, I really couldn’t beleve my eyes!!!Younger? No!!!But she talks and behaves like she is older…I think there’s something abouth her magnetism, or energy…She is a little more petite than me, which is to her advantage…So I need to lose some 10 pounds…And nobody gives me my age, I actually look 26-27…I even was told that I don’t look married, in a good way…Meaning I look too young, to modern, for that…One guy, which was my friend’s husband did not believe that I can cook, he saw me only as a beautiful doll, that goes only to expensive restaurants..And then when we became closer, he was amazed at what a good cook I am, and how well I take care of my home…And that I am the good, loving , fatheful wife…He told me that himself…
I actually have success with guys, they always tell me how attractive and beautiful I am..I just need to be beautiful and attractive for my husband…
And..there’s something else…He was the only man in my life…So…I literally don’t see myself in bed with somebody else…Not that would not be a good idea…But I am not comfortable with it…for now…
IME - From knowing a surprising number of men who have partners they won’t leave and someone else on the go, its usually not a looks/attractiveness thing, more a power and control or self-validation issue. Then there are some who get-off on the element of risk or notoriety.
They also tend to have strong narcissistic traits, if not full-on aspects of NPD.
And they very seldom just have one other partner, or will go from one secondary woman to the next when she finally rumbles that he won’t leave his wife for her.
First let me say I am sorry for the pain your going through. It sucks plain and simple.
I have a few questions that you dont have to respond to if your dont want to.
Is he still seeing this women ?
If he tells you he is not seeing her do you believe him ?
I dont think this is just about a need for sex, if it were he would just have sex with you since he doesn’t want a divorce and still has feelings for you obviously.
This is about someone else filling his needs and wants on both a sexual and emotional level. Needs and wants change as we change and each of us changes a little everyday. The thing is you missed 6 years of that change. Couples usually evolve together so those changes are not so apparent because they happen slowly over time and each partner has a influence on those changes. However when one partner is missing the other has no influence on the changes that are occurring. I dont want to sound harsh but he is not the same man you married and you cant change him back into that. Pheromones cant either.
That being said… the two of you need to sit down and talk about both your needs and wants. If he wont see a therapist with you then ask him to write all his needs and wants for your relationship out on paper and you do the same then sit down together and go over them. No yelling screaming, blaming crying or belittling each other. The only way to save this is to find a common ground. Sex is only a small part of the picture and even if the pheromones help you create sexual attraction you have to work on the emotional part or he will still stray.
I suggest lots of IH and Ishine.
IH can help you both open up on a deeper level. It also creates a feeling of intimacy and connection. Many married long time users notice a feeling of newness to the relationships.
Ishine is magnetic, it draws people to you and makes them feel warmth and wellbeing.
I read you bought IS/B. That will help tremendously from your description of his preferences. Its more on the submissive side. Think Marilyn Monroe persona over someone more in controlling and pushy like Angelina Jolie’s persona. I am not telling you to become submissive its just the feeling it creates.
I do suggest in the near future you look into some EOW from love scent and possibly get a bottle of EST from Liquid Alchemy if you can afford it. First use what you bought here though and see if you think mones are having a positive effect on the situation even just a little. If you like them then there are a few other putatives I can suggest. You would need to become a reporting user to afford them but I will explain all that later.
Your only partly correct. Men instinctively have a need to procreate and women look for the strongest Alpha to procreate with and to provide and protect and raise those offspring to be alpha males. However women dont instinctively look for the beta to trick into providing for our offspring. That’s ridiculous and sounds like something a scorned male would make up.
Keep in mind we have control of our instincts and having them is not a excuse for every behavior. A conscious commitment was made and if either partner cant keep that commitment instinct has little to do with it. Are ability to think logically, control our instincts and make decisions based on values, emotions and needs is what separates us from other mammals. That’s why we are called humans and not animals.
Tisha