Hello all! First I would like to introduce myself a little. I’ve joined this community about 8 months ago and the experience with pheros were amazing to say the least; it became my new hobby. I enjoyed everyone’s posts and the advices given, and I realized that people in this forum are very kind and helpful. I started pheros mostly for personal development, which I succeeded in retrospect, and also to attract my target girl.
Important part bolded below
And this is about my target girl, which now I feel… well I don’t know exactly how I should feel. By all means I do not wish to ruin anyone’s holiday by telling you my story, but I would like to seek out some feedbacks from the forum members. It all started about year and a half ago, when I met this girl while being hired at the same company. At first, we started out as a co-worker, but she was young (22), she was far away from home with no one to depend on, and got her first job after college at a foreign land here in US (English is her second language). I felt compelled to help her, so I did: since she didn’t have a car back then I picked her up and dropped her off everyday, and when she had problems at work I came to assist her so she wouldn’t look bad in front of supervisors and such. Everyone in the company knew I was going out of my way of helping someone that I recently met, but honestly I wasn’t looking for anything in return. It wasn’t long until this escalated to friendship, which we started to talk about subjects other than work. She told me about her recent break-up of LTR and she said she wasn’t looking for anything at that time (I’ll come back to this) and she just wanted to focus on her professional future. I didn’t care since I wasn’t attracted to her at that time. With my consistent assistance and friendship, she grew very comfortable around me. At times she has shown signs of attractions.
3 months later we got hired, I got transferred to different office and she wasn’t very happy about the transfer. We kept in contact to see how each other was doing. Even though I was far away from her I constantly kept in touch with her and assisting her in every way possible. I guess my vested interested in her grew stronger as I was devoting my times toward her; I honestly wanted her to be successful. She was having all sorts of problem at work because of language barrier. Additional 3 months passed and we saw each other once again at a conference. She was happy to see me and I was as well, but I didn’t feel the same way about her as I did several months ago. Conference ended, but month later we were both assigned to special 3 months training with other co-workers of our age (this is when I got into pheros, very exciting experiments). However, she got into a huge car accident before the training started and this almost prevented her from participating. She eventually came through and participated while being treated. As always, I checked up on her daily to support her. During the first month, I confirmed my feelings for this girl. I tried to keep it discrete and not to make it obvious. Pheros did make things more fun; I realized she likes Mx149, Pheroproof, IS, and Ammo. Other co-workers started to suspect that there was something going on between us. When I faced the dilemma as to tell her how I felt about her or just keep it discrete, I resorted to this forum for some advice (thanks again guys!). Vast majority told me not to go forth with it and just let time do its work. The girl also being my co-worker made things more complicated. Well, I honestly didn’t know I was gonna see her again after this training so it was now or never; I went against the advice. I told her that I think she was a great person and would like to get to know her a little better.
Distance grew between us and for several days after the confession we hardly talked to one another. Eventually we had our first fight, but we came to an understanding. She told me she was not interested in dating anyone at that point and she wouldn’t change anything. She also told me I was a good friend and cared about me deeply. Things were back to normal as I did what I normally did. At the end of the 3 month training session, she hurt me deeply for the first time. As we were assigned back to our individual offices, she found a new place and telling people about it, except me. She was asking for help from people she barely knew and this was something that her “old self” would’ve come to me first and let me know first hand. I had to find out from one of the mutual friends. She told me I was a good friend and cared about me deeply, but her action said otherwise as I would’ve at least expected a good friend would let her friend know about the new home she acquired. I asked her why, and she said she didn’t want to burden me or give me “wrong message.” But I was to come by and help/visit her if I wanted (her new place is 150 miles from where I lived). She made it sound like as if I was begging to help her. I kept my emotions in place and parted with her as if I wasn’t hurt.
As we were assigned back to our home offices, I started to hear that she wasn’t performing well at her office due to certain difficulties (health issues from accident and more so because of language barrier). By coincidence I called her one day and heard her sobbing over the phone; she had a bad day at work as the supervisor “instructed” her for her incompetence. I comforted her as much as I could and boosted her confidence. From that point forward, I devoted myself even more for her and assisted her as needs arised.
2 months later, we got lucky and assigned to a special project. I was able to see her again. As we were assigned, she called me first thing and wanted to talk. We talked about which hotel to stay, rental cars, etc. While working, we had fun and there was even more chemistry happening. But one morning, she was little cranky and I asked her how she was doing. She gave me a “screw you” type of look and walked away. Naturally I was upset as I was insulted, and later in the day she came up to me as if nothing happened, which angered me even more. She was giving me “what’s your problem?” type of attitude. Couple days later, I told her to come to my room and we talked things through. I told her exactly what I felt and I told her that she was beginning to take me for granted. I was gonna be there for her, but I expect to be treated with proper respect. She apologized and gave me a hug saying “I love you.” I forgave her.
While we were involved in a project, her bday was coming up. Since we were working like dogs, I didn’t think she’d have time to enjoy her bday as much. I wanted to arrange something special for her, so I called my business partners (side-business) to arrange a special gift package. During one weekend I flew back home to pick up the package and came back to the assigned area. People thought it was little “fancy,” but I didn’t care. She got the present, but I wasn’t there to see her open it as I was to report back home. She said thank you in many different ways.
My bday came 2 weeks after her’s. In the morning, I received a text message from her wishing me Happy Bday. She sent me e-card and later called me at night in a rush as she was going to visit a tatto parlor with some other guy friend.
From that point forward we started to talk almost on a daily basis. About two months ago, she got into another car accident. This time I actually visited her, driving 300miles roundtrip. We talked and went to a cafe and so forth. I wanted to make sure if she was okay and luckily it wasn’t too serious. When we parted, she told me to call her when I arrive back home and I told her that she should call me after 3 hours to see if I got back safely. I gotta mention that she has something against calling other people, especially men, even when it is appropriate. I got home, but she never called. Next day, she left me a voice message saying that she was too tired and fell asleep so she didn’t call. I called her later, and we eventaully got to talking where I told her that I still had feelings for her (duh!) and I would be waiting until she gets settled, but I expected her to tell me first thing if she found someone else. Again, she didn’t like the idea and she thought what I said was inappropriate while I thought it was common sense. She said she never asked for my help and she never told me to come visit her (yea, she invited me after I said I wanted to see her). Regardless, she said she will tell me when the time comes although she has no desire of dating anyone.
We continually talked up until 3 weeks ago where I started to evaluate myself. She still had issues with calling me, so she would find some method to make me call her (maybe its her way of not giving me the wrong message). I severed all communications with her, because I was busy as hell with business trips and also to gauge her reactions. Basically, I took away everything at one point from her. I wanted her to not take me for granted and to see where I stand. Unusual flow of emails started to come from her side asking me how I was doing and so forth in addition to request for assistance. At one time she sent me her work so I can revise it. I spent my entire weekend fixing her work just so she wouldn’t get into trouble. After it was done, she just sent me a text message saying “thanks.” More emails came, and I just did not heed to her request. She was telling me she is tired, sick and so forth which is also the reason why she didn’t call me. Two weeks passed and she sent me another email saying that she appreciates everything that I’ve done for her and wanted to say thank you if she hasn’t done already. I still didn’t respond.
2 days ago, while at work and before I was to go into a board meeting, she sent me an email. She said she was “officially dating” another guy and that she hopes that I don’t feel bad about her. My heart sank a little, and I wasn’t angry at the fact that she found another person. However and moment later, I started to get angry at the fact about the method she used to relay this type of message. She clearly knew I was working (she sent the message via corporate email during the morning) and didn’t have a descency of waiting until the evening and at least calling me to tell me. Plus, she said she was too sick and tired to spend 5 minutes of her time to call me and yet she had plenty of time to date another guy? So I wasn’t even a friend to her, and I’m sure a homeless dog would get a better treatment than this. Several hours passed and she sent me another message. She said the work I revised for her returned with review and it wasn’t very good; her future in the company didn’t look too bright. She didn’t particularly meant to direct faults at me, but I got even more angry at her. I tried to hide it but other co-workers started to ask if I was alright and able to carry on my task. I ended my day trying to forget what happened and it wasn’t easy putting a smile while talking to the board members. I came back to the hotel, hoping she’d call and do what is proper. She didn’t. Now I’m back at home and trying to seek some comfort. I’m tired and disappointed at myself. I offered her sincererity and honesty, and I believed she was worth pursuing. I’ve been rejected before, but at least other girls allowed me to walk away with pride and dignity. She deprived me of those. I treated everyone with respect and she didn’t give me any. I am ashamed of myself as I face new year. I should say that I’m angry at myself more so than at her. Should I be angry?
I know I haven’t made much presence at this forum, but I’m just seeking some opinions from the members (both ladies and men). I know I’ve done many wrongs by acting on my emotions, but would you have treated a guy like me the way she did? I’m so frustrated and dumbfounded.
Thank you in advance for those of you read my post. I hope everyone have a Happy Holiday.
.