I was just thinking about game for a minute and came across some nice tidbits I’d like to share with my friends here on pherotalk.
I’m wondering if you could add to these seductive and romantic questions some of your own that have worked to seduce women on dates.
Here we go:
Ready?
ok.
When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up?
What was the last really adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
if you could live anywhere in the world , where would it be?
What was your absolute worst first date?
What’s the one thing you can’t say no to?
5.5) What kind of fruits do you enjoy eating?
What is your favorite kind of fabric to wear? What do you like about it?
Do you like taking bubble baths or do you prefer showers?
Of course all these questions can be expanded on depending on her answers. It is also important to have your own exciting answers to the same questions ready in case a woman asks you your viewpoints.
Do you have any more to add… please do so on this thread. Make sure there good ones that have worked for you on real dates.
Very good idea. Excellent potential for follow-ups. And for trade-offs. (We might want to know the same about you. And whether or not you achieved it, or feel like you did, etc.)
A bit contrived. Needs to flow from something else you were talking about or it sounds like you’re trying too hard.
Maybe. Again, like 2), it would need to flow from the previous convo.
No. Don’t go there. One, if it was even partly our fault, we won’t want to look bad in front of you. Two, supposing it’s left a raw spot someplace. Do you really wanna wake up a sleeping bear? Worse, to have her associate you with waking it?
Oh geez. This reeks of come-on from the get-go. Don’t bother.
Not too bad. Especially good if you’re already eating stuff. Expand this to whatever category of food you ARE eating. (“Mm! Brownies! I love these things! What’s your favorite dessert?”) Excellent at a cocktail party.
This is kinda strange. Most men don’t give a flip about fabric as long as it’s comfortable, IME, so it comes across a little creepy to me.
My first response on a first meeting or even a first date would be, “None of your business.” If I really liked him and the question didn’t come across as creepy, I might answer, “Wouldn’t you like to know…” But he still wouldn’t get the question answered. (There probably isn’t an adult female in the world that hasn’t see the Psycho shower scene. This, combined with that question poorly timed, can induce unpleasant thoughts.)
Frankly Im dont think any of those questions are Romantic or Seductive. They are just getting to know you questions, the preliminary stuff that comes before the romance and seduction.
You boudicca mentioned most of those questions should come up in the context of a conversation. Just asking them out of the blue is weird. Just firing off questions or asking to many questions can be just as bad as not being interested at all.
Snort, That one does reek. My response would be… (with a sweet smile)… Oh there are many things I just cant say no to, but your not one of them
I dont find it creepy but I would assume you were Gay.
Bath question could come off gay as well depending on what you were talking about before hand.
These questions were not invented by me , I got them off articles on the internet. I guess some could come across as gay and as a heterosexual man I wouldn’t want that.
Can you two list some questions that would be good to hear when first meeting a woman? They’d have to be either seductive or humourous or thoughful or exciting but not gay
Except for the few questions we commented on its not that the questions were bad ones.
If you just sit there and fire off random questions though its awkward and doesn’t help build rapport. You have to work the questions into conversation to pull a response from her and build a connection.
For instance you sitting at a bar chatting with a lady. All the introduction stuff is done so now your in the getting to know you stage.
Your telling her a story about something that happened to you today that pertains to fruit. Lets pretend you saw someone run over a fruit stand with there car. Your telling her about what you saw and then you transition into talking about all the nice fruit that was destroyed then you can ask her what her favorite fruit is.
Just blurting out “Whats your favorite fruit ?” for no reason is weird.
So its hard to tell you what you should or shouldn’t ask because its not really the question asked, its how the question pertains to what you are conversing about.
Even the questions we pointed out carefully asked in context with the conversations subject matter could work.
So your questions should go along with a story or shared experience. The story or shared experience can be hers or yours it doesn’t matter. Just dont blurt out random questions.
Romance and seduction are achieved more though actions. Its what occurs after the interest (question) stage.
Romance is to create a sense of mystery and excitement. Teasing and mild flirting is a good way to achieve that.
Seduction is to tempt entice influence. More direct flirting, kino, sexual dominant body language and verbal innuendos and deliberately placed words can help you achieve this.
Did you know that blood flow to the groin in both men and women increases when hearing the word moist in any context.
Boy this cake is moist LOL There are many words that do this, they just bring the subconscious mind right to sex. Learn them and work them in to convos.
I bought a book by Neil Strauss called RULES OF THE GAME. He recommends the power of story telling. I decided that I want women liking me for me and not me pretending to be some actor I’m not so I went over my life and recalled vivid stories (7) all on subjects like pets I had, my first kiss in gradeschool, my first real kiss, teh first time i got completed drunk and passed out at university frosh week, the musician I played on stage in front of a crowd of hundred with when I was 16, and others.
I figure I can ask her similar questions on these subjects and if she asks me about my life I can go into a story and build rapport from there.
But too much storytelling and you come across as conceited. So I have to balance it with asking questions about her.
Alcohold doesn’t hurt. Most women may not go to a bar initially but a restaurant that serves wine will appeal to most. Add mones like the powerful IS, AMMO, a314 combo or my latest favorite APC/NPA and cialis at dinner and you have a night that may lead to more than a kiss on the cheek.
The key is conversation. In the beginning stages women like to be talked to a lot. Also there’s things like palm reading , blood astrology etc.. Idon’t know how relevant they are to getting a woman interested but its detailed in the book.
Those questions can work DURING a pickup/seduction but they’re not generally seductive questions.
I admit some of them seem contrived, although since they’re usually used in a bar/club setting they tend to slip under most womens radar thanks to alcohol.
Likewise they’re supposed to be a more interesting alternative to the job interview conversation…where the guy usually hits the girl with the same generic questions she’s been asked a thousand times before by guys that aren’t really interested in her answers so much as just keeping the conversation going as long as possible hoping that eventually it will result in them getting laid.
I actually like to use a generic question first, then playfully tease the girl about how generic her answer is, and then rephrase the question from a screening for approval frame.
EX:
Me: So what kind of music do you like?
Her: Common answers will usually be “all kinds” or “all kinds except for country”.
Me: Wow, that’s fascinating…just kidding, look I ask because I’m just a huge music fan, I love music and have very strong opinions on what I like and don’t like. I’ve found that the most interesting people I know also have very strong opinions and while I don’t always like the same stuff, I respect that we can debate music for hours sometimes. So let me rephrase the question. "If you were stranded on a desert island with a stereo and could only have 5 cd’s with you, which ones would you take and why…go! (and then I bring my hand down to point at her to create a sense of being put on the spot)
This is usually followed by some giggling, and then a period of “ummmmm” and looking up at the ceiling while they try to come up with an interesting answer.
If they come up with something I also like a lot, or something so off the wall it’s actually a unique and interesting answer I’ll offer to buy them a drink (I never buy drinks for women just because they’re pretty)
Now at this point I’ve already established that she’s shown me questions have to be more thought provoking than the generic job interview types, in order for me to get good answers from her. At that point more off the wall questions like those listed tend to be accepted better.
You have the right ideal and I agree that if you over talk about yourself then you can come off as self centered. But from one story you can ask a lot of information about her to build rapport.
Take your pets for instance. You start tell her something about your pets, then you ask her if she likes animals and depending on her response you can ask about her pets. Yes you talked about yourself but your showing interest in her as well. You can work off her responses.
The key to not coming off to self centered is to listen when she is responding. Dont jump into another story of set of questions. Listening is just as important as talking.
Rads example is pretty good although I would skip explaining yourself so much and just neg and tease and then re-phrase.
Take what applies and what works for you from these type books. In fact I suggest that of most self help books. Your a individual, if you follow the book to the letter the way many PUA’s do you just become one of the crowd. What works for Neil Strauss is not always going to work for you. Course he would like you to think it would though.
Women dont like to be talked TO. They like to talk with. They like feeling connected.
I gotta laugh on your mention of palm reading though because I was out with my GF’s the other night and these two guys stopped by our table and were chatting. I figured they were there for my GF more then me so I was just sort of half paying attention and one of them reached over and grabs my hand and flips it over and starts reading my palm. (snort). So I let him finish and then flipped his hand over and said… Cool let me read yours… I made some hmmm ahh haaa noises and told him your palm indicates you just read Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. Should have seen the look on his face it was classic.
I am not dissing Neils book. Guys need to use his concepts not his examples though. If you use his examples it comes off canned. Even the 5 CD’s on a island is sort of canned (sorry Rad ) and can off as a Pick up line although I am sure RAD could pull it off. We cant tell you what to say or what to talk about because it will sound canned. You have to use your story, your environment and her responses to build the convo.
Have you ever felt an instantaneous connection with someone?
Did you ever meet someone, and just instantly know that you had to get to know this person?
What’s it like when you feel an incredible connection with someone?
You need to have some rapport with a woman before you start asking these questions.
If you have really have good rapport then ask, “What do you enjoy doing the most?” Also ask, “Why?” after she gives you response. If she gives you a funny look respond with, “Besides sex, of course,” then give a laugh.
Four Basic doorways to a woman:
Getting her to feel emotional connections.
Getting her to feel incredibly pleasurable physical sensations in her body.
Getting her visualizing.
Asking her questions that touch the deepest level of her indentity.
If a woman tells me that she loves to dance and she has been dancing her whole entire life then I ask, “Why do you love dancing so much? How does it make you feel when you are dancing?” If you have rapport with her, she is basically going to tell you exactly how to seduce her.
ALL CREDIT GOES TO ROSS JEFFRIES. The king of seduction. None is higher.
You want to get a woman feeling comfortable around you then one way is make her laugh, so she can put her bitch force field down. Each situation is different so I like to come up with something witty. Example, “That is a really nice dress you are wearing, where is the rest of it? Did you leave it at home or in your car? Maybe I can help you find it later on.” If she has a skimpy dress they almost always laugh.
Some women are in real bitchy mood and are going to make it tough for you and you have to decide how much work you want to put into it. I crack a couple of jokes and I don’t get a smile then fuck her. Too many hot women on the planet, especially in Manhattan.
Stay away from religion, politics and death. Never bring those up. I don’t care if your pet hamster died and you feel like talking about it.
Well it actually was taken as a cheesy pickup line when I went strait to it. That’s when I sorta discovered by accident that that by doing the generic “so what kind of music do you like?” first and THEN rephrasing it to the cheesier form helps make it more accepted. It then becomes a running joke that I have to ask questions like that to get better than a one word answer from her. The cheesiness of the question actually makes it a sort of icebreaker that we can laugh about while actually having a conversation.
I’ll usually follow up with "Well now I wanna ask you what kind of food you like but since I want a better answer than “all kinds” or “sushi” I’m gonna say “Ok so you’re about to be executed and are granted a last meal of your choice…”
this usually gets a little chuckle and then a legit answer on that question.
Some of the types of questions listed in pickup books are good, but only for later stages of comfort or early seduction. They can be too serious sounding for early stage comfort or attraction. Especially in a club or bar setting. Early on in my learning stages I would jump right into the “deep” stuff and found that with booze and music and lights and people all around the girls were more interested in FUN…and not in having a deep meaningful conversation…at least not yet. So I try to keep it light but still thought provoking enough to avoid seeming like every other guy that asks the same bland questions.
As a general rule, questions like the ones described are great and all, but unless you’ve already built attraction, the girl won’t think enough of you to bother answering. It’s like compliance…in a way her taking the time to put thought into an answer or time to listen to you is a form of compliance. And unless you built some attraction and established value, who the hell are you that she should bother to answer?
It’s like when I see guys that go crazy with the negs and try to apply compliance testing, hoop theory and display “active disinterest”
So just like a neg means fuck all to a woman that doesn’t already consider your opinion to have some value, coming off with conversation topics that require a degree of time and thought before you’ve built up at least SOME interest or attraction will just seem like some “weird dude that asked a bunch of personal questions while I was trying to have fun with my friends”
I know sometimes conversation lines in writing just come off as canned when you read them but in person used correctly with the correct body language and the correct timing they can work. That’s why I said I thought you could pull it off. Your more familiar and experienced with PUA tactics and techniques then someone new to it.
I do have a question though.
I know this is just a example and you may not use it word for word out in the field but the part I bolded out… Dont you think it makes it come off as explaining yourself which could be contrived as DLV ? I think it comes across stronger with the bolded stuff left out. Please dont think I am disagreeing with you, picking on you, saying I know better then you bla blaa blaa. I seriously want to know if you see it the same way as I do.
I’m in complete agreement with you, Tish. It sounds much better leaving out the bolded stuff. Kinda odd; I don’t quite see why it should, but it does. I might even cut back and reword some more:
WOW…you guys are good! lol You know I never thought about the particular wording and those tiny nuances can change the overall mood of the statement. But especially reading Boudicca’s reworded version I definitely understand what you guys mean.
I try to never take input of critiquing as a personal attack. If a game is flawed then it’s flawed and only new perspective can help fix it. The “routine” has worked good enough for me in the past. but I do agree that it can come across better with some rewording.
Just think ladies, someday some poor unsuspecting young thing is going to be waking up next to me wondering how the hell that happened…and she’ll have you two to thank for it
Rad, dude, we’re women, we’ve heard it all before! (Besides, I’m a writer!) We know what works and what sounds hokey and what makes us more interested. You want to be sincere, but not overly wordy and not defensive, and not needy/desperate. We pared it down for you to sound direct and sincere.
Besides, just because both of us have been married awhile doesn’t mean we don’t have experience in the clubbing scene, or guys coming on to us.
And don’t blame your nefarious activities on us! You be good with that!
Definitely! I think some women are especially prone to pick up on these nuances.
So think about it next time you talk to a girl and trying to pick her up, a sentence or two longer or the way you word things might totally turn her on or off, depending on how you say it!
Hypnotic language patterns indeed, but only if followed up with the right anchors.
Did you ever meet someone, and just instantly know that you had to get to know this person?
Followed up with: Like me (while gently pointing at yourself in a non-decisive way), when I have that connection…
In other words you are anchoring that feeling of hers to yourself. Essentially embedding a command that she has that connection with you.
However minus the weasel phrases the key to any great communication is not ever about what you say, but the passion behind it. Anyone can ask those questions or any other and get a blase response. I can ask her why she chose the color of her shoes and have a passionate conversation about it. Remember its NEVER about what you say, but always the way you say it.
To emphasize this RooshV sent out an email the other day with a new opener: Me and my friend. That’s it, nothing follows.
Another guy, I forget who had students tell girls he likes salad. Done with enthusiasm its quite a remarkable opener or conversation thread.
Sorry guys (((Hugs))) I have been so busy lately I missed these questions. Thanks for Pming me and asking Rad.
As I told Rad, its a accumulation of knowledge I have absorbed from here and there over the years.
NLP, creative writing classes, workshops and vibrational energy (words have energy) and Tantra and from reading books on persuasion, attraction triggers and the art of innuendo.
Now that I think about it its something learned in marketing as well. Words that sell. There are trigger words that make people more apt to buy. When your trying to create attraction your selling something… Yourself
Its the same concept except your using a different set of words to evoke a certain set of emotions. If your trying to create sexual attraction you use words that subliminally make people think of sex.
When people think about sex even in the subconscious mind one of the first things that happens is blood flow increases to the groin this in turn makes you think about sex even more and before you know it regular innocent conversation becomes sensual and arousing
Moist just happens to be my favorite because its works well especially on guys
For instance…
I can say ( to my husband of course ) "Man its hot, I am sweating like crazy, wanna go take a swim in the lake the water will feel great ? "
Ordinary statement and question that makes him think about it being hot and gets my point across.
However if I want to have some sensual fun in the lake I will say something different.
"Wow its steamy out, I feel so moist, the lake looks so tantalizing, do you want to go down and swim ? "
Again I dont mention sex and its a ordinary statement and question however those key words trigger a response and emotions that are different then the first question. We still go swimming down at the lake but now he is thinking less about the water and more about having some sensual fun.
Make yourself a list of sensual words and practice. There is no direct link I can give you to learn this art. You learn it by doing it.
I gave Rad a small list off the top of my head but I will put some words here. Everybody add to them if you can think of any words that make you think about sex or attraction.
