okie soo been seeing this girl for a few months, was thinking ltr with her. but some shit arose.. or will never went away.
so tonight was posting something on her f book, and saw oh her ex bf posted stuff a few days ago and she just posted something on his. so i go look, says
pissed me off to say the least, cuz a while ago we were out for breakfast, she was txting during my breakfast i was (originally ) taking her out for, i told her to put the phone away while im out with u 1 on 1 kinda thing.
i dont think that was unreasonable, few mins later she gets txt and checks it and does it another time.
i then say didnt i ask u to stop? what is so important that it needs to interrupt my meal with u (she stops talking when txt and stuff)
she says “oh exbf is telling me about the earthquake that hit peru and stuff”
that pissed me off ended up having her pay, dropping her of at her place and going home.
names left out for privacy
i dont think im being stupid,
im not stalking her fbook, shit i didnt even know about ones 4 days old until i was posting something to her,
Has she had a strong and entirely platonic friend relationship with her ex since before you met her (for a prolonged period). Friends who occasionally fuck does not count (even if they only occasionally fuck while drunk)
If they have been platonic friends for an extended period of time then all you need to worry about is her table manners - Some people just don’t understand that because they can, doesn’t mean that they should use their cellphone in a restaurant (Winnipeg is fucking terrible for it). If it really bugs you then you need to tell her that you don’t think fucking around on a cellphone when you are eating at a restaurant is acceptable (it IS generally considered low-brow behaviour)
HOWEVER, it is only on very rare occasions that people can become good, platonic friends after breaking up. Typically when people become friends after break-up it is because one of those people wants to get back together with the other.
If they haven’t been platonic friends for an extended period of time I would wager that her ex is trying to win her back. If he is trying to win her back she knows it (maybe not entirely consciously knows it, but some part of her understands) and the only reason she is responding is because she hasn’t entirely counted him out in her mind (when a chick decides she is done with someone they tend to become pretty cold and pretty harsh… or they string them along and crush their souls).
Blowing up on her about talking to him is only going to make you look like an insecure loser in her mind. If he is trying to win her back she is weighing you against him… blowing up at her gives him points… being insecure in any way tips the scales in her mind towards him. However you can’t just ignore it either (that shows a lack of social awareness which also tips the scales towards him - if he is trying to win her back you can be assured he isn’t ignoring you exist).
IMO if you think he is trying to win her back you need to force her to consciously confront that fact - but you need to do it such that it doesn’t appear as though you are worried about him winning her back.
I would package together making a joke about her ex trying to win her back (“I guess dude’s realized he can’t do any better”) with a neg on her for allowing her ex to try (“How much hope are you planning to give this guy before you crush his soul?”)
It has to sound light-hearted… and it has to sound like something you would say (so don’t use my words exactly… they aren’t very good anyways)
EDIT: You also can’t bring it up out of the blue… maybe after he texts her again when you are hanging out… next time she gets a text when you are with her maybe crack a “More earthquakes in Peru?”
Some people stay friends with exes, some don’t.
Personally I don’t feel the need to get back in touch, when it is over, it is over. I just don’t feel any desire to spend time with them. I am only in touch with one ex. Not that I was in any way interested in seeing him after the breakup, but we volunteer together and HAD to work together to realise certain things I felt needed to happen. And through that, I realised he wasn’t bad company and I wish him well. Still, I only meet him socially once or twice a year, and for coffee or lunch. It is cordial but distanced.
I have some friends that are close to their exes and while the friendships seem healthy on the outside, I found out sex took place, so I prefer my own way.
If I had a boyfriend, I would not mind if he met an ex during the day, out in town, once in a while. But if he wants to go over for dinner and drink wine with her all night every week, I don’t want him in my life. I’m not romantically interested in guys who do not take a proactive approach in live and actively seek to take power and responsibility over what is likely to happen in their life.
Perfectly said, I wish the girl I’ve been stuck (friend zone)with would understand this? If only, when its over, it should be over. She has never went out with anyone in her life. ONLY wants to be FRIENDS with people. It was like me and my friend were fighting for HER BEST FRIEND place? childish. He backstabbed me and her, I let him go, permanently. Her on the other hand, knows he keeps trying on her, and when he does, lets him go, and then they end up talking. So it’s a cycle when I and her talk, him and her dont. When me and her dont talk, they do. (Can’t really let her go myself, but maybe i should think about it)
Wish more girls were like you.
I think the girl that you are talking about bedojo, is confused. BUT Maybe she is clever yet acts innocent. Feels as if she is just this type of girl I have been stuck with. Make sure, she knows that YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON AND YOU’RE NOT STUPID. If she continues, PLAY GAMES WITH HER. Mixed signs give and take an inch.
+1 (edit: the fawk i put +1 for??)
i sat her down and talked to her.
I am straight up when i talk lol. im not rash, but i do whats in my best interest most the time.
ending it with her for now, she needs time to get over last bf cheating on her. (id think 3 months was enough lol)
but im usually a cut it off and its over guy. on to the next one.
told her straight up that i would not put my life on hold to wait for her to “be ready” but when she is ready if she is interested she has my number.
how did the convo go? any lead offs? she might be calling u soon or sometihng?
lol got u bed , on to the next one..i know im ina bad spot, trying to see if its worth it, for the most part every1 telln me not worth it haha lol, and ur other post in Men’s pheromones tricks and advices, the girl u used a314 and IS with, was she this girl? or some other girl?
it was this girl, If a girl is my GF then im true to them, or have been so far.
the convo was a lil rocky and a little bumppy, but we both agreed that it cleared alot of stuff up, and that she doesn’t treat me correctly
when ever i convo i try not to blame u do this! u do that!
but still say the same things.
cuz she not like rude to me, she just needs bounce up from her last relationship
but what most likely will happend is i going eff her for the next few months and never talk to her again :/.
which kinda sucks but eh… i can see it easily happening
i like to treat my woman how they should be treated, i tend to treat my sexually independent girls as such
and my good girls as such
but one my favorite quotes which i can never remeber word for word
*from the movie The Lady Eve
the good girls aren’t so good, and the bad girls aren’t so bad.
just took a 180 mile road trip with my brother in both our mustangs, i love the drop top
passed some people at like 120 was awesome, then got stuck behind som sport bikes, going to slow through the twisties. i was like the eff, i ride harleys and i go faster than that
Some girls are insecure and not ready to cut off a source of attention/potential partner, because they don’t feel good unless they get that attention. Personally, I know that I can feel fine without male attention for a while and yet I can get a good deal of male attention while on my normal friendly behaviour. I’m likely to be older then the girl OP is dealing with and thus likely to also be more mature. Also, I go to school fulltime, work parttime, dance a lot and have little time to waste.
If a girl is bored or not feeling worthy outside of male attention, she will be more likely to resort to dirty tactics to get it, that includes acting or dressing cheap and entertaining an ex. This is because the consequences of such behaviour will affect her later than lack of attention would. Thus the need for attention is more urgent and wins in her mind.
Question is, are you going to let a girl be rude to you, or will you walk away in such a situation?
i am not letting her be rude to me,
i was chatting with her today, asked if she want to do anything tonight
and since we in our home town, we both staying with our parents.
well she said she watching movie with mom.
so im like aight im going to venue 126, then she got kinda pissed at that and was “like uh if im ur gf u dont need to go to club”
and im like, well that is a shame, cuz i am still going.
had some 302 on at the club and OH shooot, i had a 5 set… grinding all over me (18+ club no alch)
left with a few numbers.
was a blast- more on that in differnt forum.
any who so i go home and im like hmmm, dont txt her or anything i drive up to her house park, before i could turn my car off she was out the door, gave me a big hug and apologized for being rude. (mustang gt with exhaust… u can hear me lol)
anyways so that was good and fun, i believe i showed her that i am the only one in control of what i do,
going completely ignore her tomorrow, gota go get some motorcycles.
I’m not sure if you are in an exclusive relationship, but if so this sounds rather sketchy and could very well be the reason she is utilizing her exes.
Thanks , yes she isn’t the type who seems “cheap” (showing her body off like that) but hell, she is clever. She has never been in a relationship. Never dated anyone lol. But I figure the answer to your question would be the latter . Am going to do this very soon, thanks to everyone who advised me and made me realize where I was going into, if not where I have been. It’s been 2 years. Friendship aspect of it, was great, but too much drama after that. She’s going to know how I feel about our relationship (the negatives), again remember I was in the “friend zone”. After that, going to let her go. Maybe some day she might realise how much I meant to. Already did it once, started calling me back within 4 days lol. I gave in after 2 weeks. This time, its for good, only exception is IF SHE CHANGES. And chances for that are low, but if she does, the only way I am going to start to talk to her is if she will see me in a different manner, something more than a friend! If not, like steve said, no backseat
Bed, nice experience report. sooo technically now are you in a relationship? or its not yet bf/gf?
seeking, id be sure to not only focus on the negatives, tell her what u like she does good or w.e. to much nonnatives seems like attacking.
and imo virgins are not worth the hassle, being a girls first love is horrible (to me).
not saying just to score, i mean to have a good relationship they dont know how to, and i try not to waste my time on them.
lol. im not rash, but i do whats in my best interest most the time.
, on to the next one..i know im ina bad spot, trying to see if its worth it, for the most part every1 telln me not worth it haha lol, and ur other post in Men’s 