I am a bit concerned about the A314. This is supposed to make me feel like a high value individual right ? Couldn’t this backfire ? I mean, she said she can’t trust me, so if I seem high value and a bit out of her league wouldn’t that make trust harder to attain ? Remember she was always telling me how she couldn’t believe a sexy guy like me would choose her…
On another note. She is going away for a couple of weeks for some workshops, so this will make it easier for me to cool down and keep distant. Should I be completely absent from her life ? Or perhaps just text her and ask her how is she doing in this new place ? This is a place that we spent 4 days together last month, so maybe she will have some memories once she is there…
Also when she is coming back she will be meeting one of our common friends. Actually he is more my friend then hers but we all used to hang out together. He asked for it so they can talk about various staff going on in their lives. Should he be instructed to say something special for me ? I was thinking he should just mention how happy we looked when we were together and leave it at that, no more information of how I am doing, etc. Of course he should also say I am doing fine I guess…
Its the effects on her that are most important, not any self effects on you - and these are highly variable between phero and individual.
More its the trust/status and emotional engagement properties of A314 and especially in conjunction with IH/P74 or IH/IS that you would be looking to use here.
Everything you have said already points at a woman likely to go-on a mature status signature and these pheros should round-out your physical attractiveness in ways that encourage trust, bonding/re-connection/stability and full-on LTR potential.
But yes, it is always possible she may find some pheros unpleasant/unsuitable but I don’t think this will be the case here. Women who do poorly with A314 tend to be highly narcissistic/social butterfly types and very often present major social anxiety issues. IH/IS or IH/P74 are both usable without A314 but the effects will be weaker/slower but start with just one drop A314 - you don’t need much for it to get under someone’s skin with great subtlety. The only thing I’d be concerned about is introducing a very overt Androstenone signature too soon or in the wrong environment. IMO that is more likely to go against you than any amount of A314 - also remember the “boyfriending” properties of P74 will be a useful check/balance here.
As for contacting her, no leave it for her to get in touch with you FTM. And when she does, don’t be too quick to answer and always keep your level of communication to her less than hers to you - This ups your scarcity value and encourages curiosity/emotional interest/investment on her part.
Similarly, don’t send messages through mutual friends. I wouldn’t instruct him to say anything - when I met any of my ex’s friends/colleagues, I didn’t present anything other than myself at the time and asked nothing about her - she however wanted to know everything from them and it most certainly wound her-up and right back in my direction..
So my friend should give the silent treatment. This is more or less what I was thinking…
So what do you think about this situation. There is a party on our Uni. this Friday. We have a facebook group and a colleague posted about it. I made some comments mostly making plans with some friends from the facebook group to go there. And now she also commented on the same post, saying, too bad I am away, all my colleagues will be there (colleagues meaning another group of people, not me). Should I make a playful comment or keep silent ? Is she kind of reaching out here ? This group is a few people and she doesn’t normally comment on posts…
Well, not exactly the silent treatment - More that he shouldn’t be seen as your conduit to her. If she wants to ask him about you, fine - you are getting-on with life.
Maybe she is - but at this stage it could be as much for self-validation/reassurance/trying to be “friends” and its still at third-hand, so none of it good attraction-wise. IMO its better not to comment till she’s been pretty persistent about getting in touch with you directly.
Also, where relationship splits are concerned, being playful can easily get taken the wrong way. Avoid that - so if you must say anything, word it carefully.
Could I just comment the way I would have done anyway ? Just humorous but in a non-sexual/personal kind of way and see if she replies or not ? Or my complete silence would have much more impact you think ?
From my experience, the silent treatment works really well. It gives her that feeling that she just “lost” you, and she will either get over you or starts begging you to come back… And what you witnessed is part of that process of wanting her to see you on that party. You replying but not coming will be very bad. You not replying and not coming will make her feel anxious… That something is amiss, that something is not right. And then she will start blaming herself for being so stupid, for being the fool to dump you…
My girlfriend had the same problem. I wanted her back, but in the process was smothering her. I gave her space to breathe, she told me that she wanted to be more “alone” and get the feeling that she wanted to miss me, and now I am ignoring her for a moment. Make her feel like she has to push herself if she wants to stick with you. If she is not giving everything, why would you? Ignoring her may sound really bad, but in the end most girls are attracted to guys with some mysterious vibe to them. And the A314 will make you an even more valuable target in her eyes.
Its entirely up to how you judge her. Personally I would step right back to see if that will encourage her to contact you more 1-to-1 but if you are keeping all other communication to the bare minimum, it probably wouldn’t be too harmful. I wouldn’t be looking to elicit replies just yet though - it could look too eager/needy.
Again, where reconnection is concerned, personal interaction carries a lot more weight than electronic communication, esp on any kind of public forum. You absolutely do not want to normalise/validate your current non-relationship status with her.
I think I should just hold off. I send her a message a few days ago, she lost a family member and offered my condolences and told her that if she ever needed a friend to let me know (maybe stupid, maybe not… just played it by ear). To which she replied and thanked me and that was our only interaction.
In that case, condolences are fine and exactly the sort of values you want to project but personally I would have laid-off the friend invitation but you know her better and there is no real right or wrong here but it is all the more reason not to seek contact with her for a while.
You do need her to miss you and not be regularly validated by your continued presence/availability for a while.
I disagree. She’s lost a member of her family, playing games can wait. Offer her support in this time when she will most likely need it, play games or fight for her another time.
I just spoke from the heart. And at a hard time if she only needed a friend I would be just that for her. Because ultimately I want her to want me for the person I truly am, caring and giving when someone is worth it. If I need to play games to be with her, than she is not the right woman for me. So time will tell
Your genuine kindness and support will help her see that you’re willing to push aside whatever desires you have, to support her with whatever she needs at this current. This selfliness shouldn’t be pushed under the rug, and if she’s the right girl she will see. Just remember that you’re offering your support out of genuine friendship/closeness, and forget about any effect it may have on your relationship wit her, because, at the moment, the relationship can wait.
Some on the forum may disagree with me, but we’re all here to remain unbias. I’ve just told my best friend of 4 years that I’m practically in love with her (I didn’t use the word ‘love’), but as we’ve been friends for so long, she can’t allow anything to happen. She’s started dating someone else, and I’ve expressed how I’m genuinely happy to see her happy, as much as it hurts in a sense, because at the end of the day, our friendship is what matters most. So, I’d probably do the same as you in this situation.
Then it was absolutely the right thing to do. However if she needs you, then IMO she will contact you regardless of any offer of support. With the sig you are going to project, you will be suggesting all these qualities without having to say anything - which exactly is as it should be. Often attraction relies as much as what goes unsaid as well as anything explicitly stated.
Its not so much you are playing games here, more that you are stimulating entirely natural psychological processes that help foster a whole range of feelings - again mainly of the right sort for how you want to be to her.
Well the loss was not that painful to need help, it was a very elderly relative and she had family with her to support her. So I am glad she was not completely heartbroken by it.
So I will maybe see her in two weeks from now, just pop by her office to return a book she gave me. Probably an interaction of a few second, I won’t drag it if she is acting too distant. So what would be my arsenal in this situation ? (I have ordered, P74, A314(oil), IH, IS, Ammo Summer, Ammunition to-go world edition, ammunition to-go regular edition, and TUTH (to-go). The p74 is as 7.5mcg, a 30ml bottle).
Also i think I played a sneaky trick, it might backfire or might now. Now that she is away she will be staying with another colleague of ours. A girl that I am friends with. She is not close to her so far, just an acquaintance. So here is the thing. I told my friend about my situation, but she does not know which girl is the one I was talking about. I was really honest about the whole situation and she really thinks I am a nice guy and that I deserve a second chance.
So of course I told her not to say anything about it to “my” girl. I am sure they will eventually talk about personal stuff… And I have her support in this matter. So I was thinking that now that she will be away from her roommates that hate me, another girl’s opinion might be good for me… Let’s see what happens there… Fingers crossed…
That’s good - but it is worth remembering that bereavement/funerals can also be used by women as a pretext for reconnection. I’ve had several instances of this over the years, of varying degrees of friend/family closeness. A314/P74 and a most attractive blonde woman on my arm caused utter consternation with my ex at the funeral of a mutual friend a while back and another occasion (A314/IH/IS/TUTH) resulted in a woman literally ripping an extremely expensive shirt off my back as soon as we got out of public view! Emotions are funny things.
For seeing her again I would strongly suggest you do some work to get your dose sorted for yourself before you see her but if you want a best guess that won’t be too blatant but will still be sending subtle signals I would suggest 15mcg P74, 1-2 sprays IH and one drop A314 but you will need to tune this a bit to suit your own body chemistry/situation best.
A314 will be the most difficult to dose and will benefit from an extended period of testing (search the “extended sweet spot guide” in here) but even at one drop it will be underlying the interaction positively. IH is fairly straightforward and with a wide dose range - 1-4 sprays are fully usable in professional environments IME. P74, again it will benefit from testing but an approx 15-20mcg range should help send good connecting/bonding/emotionally close signals without being too best-friendly, which is the risk if you dose it too high (over 40mcg) without an overt sexual in the mix. Its up to you if you want to add a couple of sprays IS to this - it won’t do any harm either way but I’d maybe leave it for when you get the chance to talk longer.
Yes, the mutual friend could go either way but they most certainly will talk - I hope she comes through for you.
Yeah I hope she comes through too. She even told me she was a bit worried about her staying over because they don’t know each other and I just said, don’t worry she is an awesome girl you will be fine… So just trying to be laid back and see what happens… Also told her that all I want for her is to be happy because she deserves it (talking about the “mystery” girl…). So when things fall in place she hopefully have some nice things to say…
Good - it would be best if she paints a picture of you being upbeat, helpful, generous and positive - all good solid attraction values. If she presents you as heartbroken/yearning/pleading it will very likely go against you.
Well she actually knows I was heartbroken. So she might just say that…
I am starting to feel I shouldn’t get my hopes up though… This whole situation is very sad for me. One day she was very happy to be with me and start something again, a few days later she just gives up… I wish I knew what happened there, definitely some external influence from her friends. Or she just wasn’t into me anymore. Or perhaps she is genuinely convinced that she would be hurt again, to which I don’t know if I can do much…
