I could not agree more. And it’s so confusing that while I agree, my stupid brain wants to act the other way. Maybe just remind her that I am still interested without taking any more action ? If she still has some feelings won’t this be something she would appreciate ? All this started creeping up in my thoughts after we had contact again… Thinking that she might have opened the door for me to try and step in again…
No - this time you need to let her make more of it, “invest herself” if you will.
If you lay it all out to her at this stage, there is no challenge for her and no attraction.
Just to play devil’s advocate here. If there is any attraction left, what if it will go away by me being distant ? So she will think, “I told this guy I don’t want him to break my heart again and I don’t trust him, and he just walks away, he is not really interested after all, let’s move on…” in a way my being distant will validate her original concerns
It can, yes but on a much longer scale than you are giving it, many months or more maybe - and from the interactions/IOIs you describe, I doubt that the attraction is lost at all. More that she’s pushing it back because of her trust/comittment issues despite herself.
So whilst you concentrate on promoting a trust/confidence-inspiring/emotionally engaging signature, via the mones, you also keep just enough interaction going to keep any latent attraction simmering and to keep yourself in her mind, whilst getting yourself back to the state that attracted her most to begin with and giving her time to miss you and reflect/reinforce all the feelings that turned her-on to you in the first place.
Otherwise, if she had lost all attraction, and th desire to have you around her, I reckon you woud be getting the impression you were as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit around her and you would not be getting such clear signs of physical/emotional comfort feom her.
Its actions, not words that count and so-far they are all good and you shouldn’t (IMO) risk blowing them by going for too much too soon. Let this simmer for a while, stir things occasionally by your presence and wait. In the meantime, get your emotional strength back and do anything else to present yourself well, strong and having the best of it whatever. 
This comment made my day! You sir are pure awesome!
Women are so freaking confusing. A girl friend advised me on this situation. Basically what she told me was to go and tell her straight “I f…ing like you, we should be together…” and that I should show her I want her…
Are they plain crazy or by not acting I am just digging myself into a hole here… ?
To be honest, judging by the amount of posts on this thread, and the topic of each post, you’re completely over-thinking the whole situation. Women, in general, are attracted to the genuinely relaxed guys, who have options, and who aren’t available at their beck & call. Although you may try and act relaxed, with a ‘I have other options’ attitude, unless you are an expert in body language and sociology, it is hard to seem genuine. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and generally acting out of character, will all show, as with normal social interactions, you don’t have to plan ahead.
This had been going long enough, just bite the bullet and tell her straight. If she’s not interested, drop her and find another girl.
Again - difficult.
I’m not going to say a woman’s advice is always wrong (although some would) but IMO there might be a time for this but its when she wants and maybe needs to hear it. For now it could be the very worst thing you colud do.
There are some women here who give superb advice and I wish they would chip-in too!
Well women’s advice are not always consistent in this story for me. I’ve heard everything, from leaving her alone and just wait, to letter writing and “fighting” for her…
Well this particular girl grew up with a bunch of brothers and a very independent mother so I don’t think she missed male attention too much. Or maybe it should be the other way around ?
It’s been just over a month, do you really think it’s long enough ? I didn’t even have the chance to really register my pheros with her yet…
A month is barely started for this! Ideally you would cut almost all contact for several months before starting.
And you believe a few months would not be enough for her to forget about her feelings ? And move on a get a new guy maybe…
Although I think if a woman convinced herself (or is convinced by others as is most likely here…) that something will not work out despite her feeling something, these feelings are most likely to boil under the surface and come again when the conditions are right… Of course I could only be hoping here and her feelings might be truly gone just like that…
It is difficult to judge but if she’s not already got another guy in her sights (and I’d guess you would have known about that by now, even by nonverbal cues), it could be a very long time before her feelings settle down and she even starts to think about being back in a relationship, so a good couple of months is not a very long time - esp when she has other priorities in her life.
If its any help, I’ve left developed fallouts as long as eighteen months and still had them bounce right back to me when I get in touch again. Even exes after 3-6 months, showing all kinds of interest again.
And yes, that does give any residual feelings time to simmer - and quite often, boil-up again. Hanging around, staying in contact essentially validates her decision, makes you available to give her many of the benefits of the relationship with no effort/input/comittment on her part. Which kills attraction and any desire to make things work. Or it makes you a bit of an albatross round her neck - that guy who won’t accept its over, which is just death to any attraction.
So that’s why for the moment, giving her just enough exposure to begin to develop a response to your new phero sig but with the bare minimum contact in every other way is the best of the limited range of options option to you IMO.
Yeah this is the way I am gonna go for now! What do you think about making contact via a text or email, just saying something like “Too bad we will never work out, I still care about you and I hope you’lle be great from now on.” Or something to that effect, stating actually that I gave up in a way. Could this have a positive impact or is it too easy to see through ? 
Just play the ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT card. Little remarks via text/email could backfire, so showing disinterest, or acting as if you’ve forgot the whole situation, could work. I told a girl I liked her, in a way that I had to, as it was too painful to act as if I felt nothing when I saw her with other guys. I didn’t say it with any intention other than to clear it off my own mind, and once it was said, I realised the not knowing actually created an illusion where I thought I was interested. So, once I had told her, had got over the awkward stage, and returned to hanging around with her again - without the feelings - I acted my usual, genuine, self. Since then, we’ve got on a lot better, and I don’t have to act out of character, and she feels more comfortable for not doing so.
If I were to of said what I had said, then pushed to remain contact, or pushed to get a positive reaction out of her, I would of essentially f*ck** up. But by going with the flow, and letting the situation run its normal course, we have remained close friends, and I’m no longer interested in anything more than that.
So, in your situation, you could do something similar. But in your case, once you have returned to a civil or friendly standpoint, then you could take a fresh start at it. When you do so, don’t look at it as rekindling past emotions, look at it as a completely new start to an attraction.
Basically, for now, forget about her. Trying to act certain ways to appear a certain character to her won’t work. You may not realise, but more often than not in these situations, you act very act out of character.. As much as you think you’re not.
No - just NO!
This is the very worst/most limp/wet-blanket thing you could do. It would kill all the good work you have done so-far stone dead!
ok so next order of business will be my last visit to her to basically say goodbye and ask about returning some stuff to her. Be polite, friendly and just that… No emotional goodbyes for the moment right ?
Yup. Don’t treat her indifferently, just be matter-of-fact and civil.
So does this entail telling her I want to be friends and try and smooth things down to being less awkward ? Or just not say anything and let it happen naturally (if it can…) ?
In my experience, albeit limited, I would say just acting like she’s just another girl works well. Just an acquaintance you see on a daily basis who you are friendly to. Just like when the female cashier makes small talk, you return it and get on with your day, with no thinking back or second thoughts. If there is truly something there, this should make her wonder why she is no longer being desired. The girl I mentioned before hated it when I just treat her like any other friend, male or female, and went out of her way to initiate contact a lot more. That was very unusual for her, as I was the one making the contact, all the time.