To kiss or not to kiss on the first date, and also how to lead up to it if you do

Lounge
1

Ok so the topic is kissing on the first date.

How many people think if you don’t kiss on the first date there might not be a second because a girl sees you as a friend?

Secondly, how many people think you should hold out on kissing altogether on the first date? Why?

Thirdly, suppose you do ask all the right questions and create rapport and attraction, how do you lead up to the kiss at the right moment?

I’m not talking about bars , nightclubs etc.. Just plain dinner , lunches, movies, etc.

Once kissing starts its easy to keep it going if you know how. For example you could lead into a woman close to her neck and talk to her, whisper in her ear, play or stroke her hair, and then slowly go in for the kiss.. If she doesn’t turn away you could kiss her lips, then back off a few inches and she her facial expression.. if its negative don’t go in for the kiss again.. if positive and she looks into you and is reaching towards you go into the kiss again, this time kissing her lips upper and lower for as long as seems passionate and then turning her on by kissing her chin, neck, ears (kiss, and play with them). The kissing could turn into a more necking session now and you could do some gentle tongue kissing and see how she responds. All in all I don’t go past kissing on the first date even if I think i can score.. i just find I do better as I progress knowing someone better.

But the real issue is not how to kiss and get passionate in the car etc but how to lead up to the kiss.. What can you say or do during dinner to put a woman in a kissing mood without seeming creepy on the first date?

After general fluff talk, humor etc I like to ask a woman a few questions of my own like what her ambitions and passions are in life and what her hobbies and interests are? Then I share my own tales.. I like to develop rapport. Sure women may do a lot of talking but if they don’t I usually have 3 questions I can forumulate topics on to make us bond.

But thats the problem.. I get bonding but I can’t flow from that into kissing easily. When I was younger I would jump a woman in the car.. Ok so I’m not 18 anymore nor that dumb :slight_smile:

But times have changed. These days younger women like to hang out as much as they like to date. People are hesistant to get involved early at times.

So kissing is really risky.. But say all is going well with rapport… you makes jokes you touch her arm, you hold her hands etc. But still there’s that fear that kissing out of the blue is going to end up with “I DONT KISS ON THE FIRSt DATE” or “SLAP… I’m not that kinda girl”. or “WHAT ARE YOu DOIN???” :slight_smile:

Ideas?

2

What Every Kiss Means

kiss on the stomach; i’m ready.
kiss on the forehead; i hope were together forever.
kiss on the ear; your my everything.
kiss on the cheek; we’re friends.
kiss on the hand; i adore you.
kiss on the neck; we belong together.
kiss on the shoulder; i want you.
kiss on the lips; i like you.

What the gesture means…
holding hands; We definitely like each other.
slap on the butt; that’s mine.
holding on tight; i don’t want to let go.
looking into each other’s eyes; i just plain like you.
playing with hair; tell me you love me.
arms around the waist; i like you too much to let go.
laughing while kissing; i am completely comfortable with you.

Advice;
don’t ask for a kiss, take one.
if you were thinking about someone while reading this, you’re definitely in love.

3

Did you get that from a chain email?

I never kiss on a first date. Creating physical chemistry on a first date is a great thing, and anticipation is built if you combine that with holding out on the kiss until the second date. Why spoil the mystery? Make her want it first.

4

If you made it clear that it was a date when you asked her then she is going to expect some form of kiss by the end of the date or it wasn’t a date even if its just a friendly kiss. There is a difference between kissing and making out. How much contact you had with her before the date matters to. If you just met her you may want to hold off but if you have had interactions before she will expect it.

You should be able to tell if she will be receptive to kissing by how well the date went. If she is pulling away when your using Kino then you know kissing is out of the question. If she is responsive then pick your moment and go for it. This is why learning body language is so important and useful.

Its not what you say, you don’t have to verbally say anything at all. Its in your body language. Not only is it important to learn to read it but learn to speak it. Prolonged eye contact, Kino and getting into her space are some things that are going to create sexual tension. How she reacts to these things is going to give you a huge clue as to how she is seeing you. As a friend or something more. Its also going to make your intentions clear. Verbal language is what creates interest. Body language is what creates passion.

I cant say I agree with the “what every kiss means” list there. I have studied BL a long time and some of those are wrong but I do agree with not asking for one. If you do feel you have to say something verbally then tell her your going to kiss her but don’t ask. There is a way of going about that though its not something you blurt out in a restaurant but in a more secluded type of environment.

Tisha

5

Miss Dragon, not a chain mail, but I did poach it. If I come across something I like, or that moves me such as quotes, poetry, jokes etc, I cut and paste to a notebook for future reference, or just to fire myself up.

I dont pretend to be a literary scholar…My original stuff usually starts out something like: “There once was a guy from Nantucket…” or-

“A priest, a Rabbi, a Hooker, and a midget walk into a bar…” :slight_smile:

6

Yes, kissing is normal on a first date. Many people escalate to sex on the first date if the chemistry is right, but the least to tell you like her and consider her for more than just friends is a kiss on either lips or forehead.
I don’t exactly remember and cant look it up right now, but maybe Stealth Attraction by Gambler helps you escalate to the kiss. It’s basically about lowering the voice tonality and speech speed to a seductive level, and get closer and closer while pinning her with eye contact. Watch it if you find it :slight_smile: I use it since years, paired with some verbal techniques to do things she doesnt expect and to make her hot and anticipate the kiss.

Imho if you don’t kiss on the first date, she’ll either think you don’t have balls or she did something wrong and you don’t like her much.

Cheers

7

Personally I think all men should TRY to go for the kiss on the first date .. That shows interest.. If she doesn’t want it she’ll turn her head away or back off.

This was you’re at least showing interest and and try kissing her later or on the second date again.

8

Great information on the site of Gambler ..and many vids .. this guy in one of the few that really sell something that is helpful in the PU - business …

seems to work good what he has for us German Guys :wink:

Pago