click
hope other get it,too 
Pheros do not do anything to raise libido or develop a desire for sex. If she has a low libido then no matter how much TUTH you use, it will not do anything.
I am in the same boat as you. My wifeâs libido is zero. But I keep getting many sexual hits from other women.
Libido has nothing to do with how much you help at home, cook for her, take her out, have pleasant conversations, buy her gifts, surprise her every often with something nice. Libido is a physical disorder or call it a condition of the human body that cannot be increased with anything I mentioned above.
Some womenâs desire for sex is low because they do not get attention from their partner. The moment that is fixed they are back in the game. However, some women have a physical limitation and they can never have adequate desire even if the root cause if fixed. It is their physical ody composition.
I have had several conversations with my wife on working on it but she just doesnât feel it. So, I simply disconnected my desire to get intimate with her. Took me a few weeks but I donât get attracted to her anymore. But my desire to be with a women is still there.
There is no easy solution, bud. Try to seek counciling together.
The odd thing about absent libido is one seldom has a memory of what it was like when it was more active.
There is little state memory in the nervous system.
Like I said before and as Yashasharma colloborated, when itâs gone (physically), one doesnât miss it and there is little to do about it.
We need to remember that one of the prime functions in female is inhibitation. Women have to ration their egg exposure since pregnancy comes at such a high cost. Like anything else biological, it can get out of whack, or it could be a proper adaptation to circumstances - no more babies.
Marriage customs donât always recognize biological variances - monogamy needs escape clauses sometimes.
we agree to disagree then.
id like to think i know something about a womanâs libido changing, since i have experienced my own fluctuation and KNOW for what reasons that wasâŚ
if its medical,
there will be other physical issues as well.
NOT just missing libido 
but a girl knows that âŚ
check for other symptoms.
that should help in the deciphering.
yes, and intimacy to a woman doesnât mean sex.
weâre replying to the post in order to see what could be done immediately to recover lost libido. most of the time its something simple. seeing a doctor and getting blood profiles and a complete physical exam is the only way to rule out the physical portion of it. but sending your spouse to the doctor to âget it fixedâ, when all she needed was a little emotional support is a bit of overkill.
counciling is nothing more than 3rd party discussions. theyâre useful for spotting communication issues, but again, there are things that can be done at home before involving anyone else.
there are issues that need to be solved, and the hope is that theyâre easy ones that we can work with. sometimes theyâre not.
i grieve a little when one of these quests to rekindle turns for the worst, like this one:
same goes for Diamondâs journal.
at this point in my life, I could not fathom a marriage without some physical intimacy. I donât just desire to be with women, I desire to be with My Wife, even though the olâ urge on her end is a bit low. she loves me enough to give me attention, even if she doesnt feel like it, because she wants to express love in a way I can understand it, just like I want to do for her.
the fact that he cares enough to ask and try, is encouraging.
thats why communication is key. if, in the end, she doesnât know why sheâs not aroused, and heâs done all in his power to get the roadblocks out of the way and understand her, (and she understands herself and has tried as well) then its time to see a doctor.
this forum is only designed to help so much. if its something sheâs unwilling to try for, then there isnât any way that we can assist. its out of the scope of the users here.
then theres the âfake it till you make itâ approach. that might work, too.
Get your wife to weight train with hardcore excercises like squats, pushups, pullups, dips etc.
Then give a thoughtful gift in the beginning of the day you plan to have sex. Treat her as you would when you are first dating.
Give plenty of compliments. One put down can kill libido for months.
I bet you have trouble with your women.
Libido for women is MENTAL. Sooner men understand that, the better civilization can evolve.
So why do we men expect regular sex twice a week with our womenfolk?
The answer is to ensure sheâs filled with blocker sperm. Read the âSperm Warsâ book I recommended in the Lounge posting on recommended readings. Rejection of her man is tantamount to cheating on him.
Letâs not get too much into a mind/body dichotomy. The mind floats on the brain which floats on the rest of the physiology.
Physical causes can destroy libido as can relationship issues.
Unfortunately, too many wives have rejected the notion of âwifely dutyâ and think that if THEY donât want to then tough noogies for the guy.
This is a fundamental power imbalance in our legal and social structures that devalues and undermines monogamous marriage.
All this stuff about hearts and flowers and dishwashing is a hopeful acclimation to that power imbalance.
In my view, if a wife wouldnât gladly open her legs for her husband, then the man should have no qualms about finding another woman, permanently or just visiting. I support the âEuropeanâ model - keep the wife but find something on the side.
There are plenty of lonely women out there who more than happy to borrow someone elseâs man for awhile.
lol whitehall.
that explains alot 
husband: its that timeâŚ
wife: sigh okay. lets get this overwith.
husband: right on, its your duty!
wife: well get on with it, i have stuff to do.
oh so hot!
write this stuff in a book, its getting me horny !
LOL
Sorry, Lor, but the battle of the sexes goes on.
Either way (no sex period or no joy during the act), the end result is a damaged marriage, one that is less than it could be.
Isnât lack of sexual companionship still grounds for divorce in those states where one needs a reason? It still is a civil tort when the action of a third party, as in traffic accidents or other accidents.
Maybe I was a bit too self-revealing.
You stole my thought. LOL Right on, dude! Agree with you on every point.
damaged is a very strong word.
how about a sick marraige that CAN get well again?
lack of sexual companionship may still be grounds for divorce,
but then the idea of divorce is contrary to why people get married to begin with !
sickness and in health..
till death do we partâŚ
or something like that?
i had to tease you a little
and we would naturally have different perspectives.
thats more natural than not,lol.
but the whys of why we do things arent the same sometimes.
its hard to wrap our gendered minds around why the other thinks the way they do,
but as long as the bottom line is that BOTH want to make it work,
it can be fixed.
so is this working for you?
Lor has a very good point of view.
Of course, last time I got married, the wifey didnât go for the the classical vows âsickness and in healthâ although I endorse them. They were something like âIf it works great, if not so sorry!â
If oneâs mate is seriously sick then self-sacrifice makes sense. Iâd want the same if the situation was reversed - Golden Rule and all that. Thatâs just. If low libido is a treatable medical problem and she doesnât make the effort, then sheâs cutting herself a special deal. But if she expects to be supported and share my labor, but freezes me, then we need to renegotiate the terms of the marriage contract.
If it is bad attitude, then there are limits. Iâll meet my partner half way.
PS. Gads, I sound grumpy!
Listen to this guy, he knows what heâs talking about. His advice is GOLD.
OMG this is making me so hot.
not grumpyâŚ
you sound experienced in this vein .
Carrie,
Do you have a specific point youâd like to make? I think Iâm just saying that responsibility for a happy marriage runs both ways. Sex and reproduction remains the foundation and purpose of marriage.
The Centaurâs post says it quite well. If you want to remain engaged, embodied and afire with your woman, youâd do well to listen to her, be intimate with her, stay open in your own heart, dream with her, and not bail because it seems easier in the short term. Life is rocky; be a friend to have a friend, and most especially if eros is your goal.
Elsewise lies divorce. You and I have both been there, we know that road. Iâd rather find another way, wouldnât you?