An Older Gay Male Perspective

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Journals
41

Ask and you shall receive, Dee! I have a social function this week, so I’ll wear P75 and P96. It’s a good mix of gay men and women, most of whom I see only at this function. It’s been a few months since I interacted with them, so it’ll be interesting to see how they respond to the “new” me. (I dare not wear P75 solo. I don’t want to risk being an asshole to anyone.)

You’re also getting into Queer Theory. Suffice to say that gender personality is a spectrum. I’m guilty of using binary terms such as masculine and feminine, but it makes it easier to get my ideas across in this particular forum. There isn’t a point in the gender spectrum where one transforms from masculine to feminine. It’s the same with colors. There isn’t a point in the color spectrum where yellow all of a sudden becomes red. But for the purpose of simplicity, I’ll just use masculine and feminine. Just know that human behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, isn’t that simple.

When it comes to same-sex attraction, people behave very similarly as opposite-sex attraction. There are masculine men who are attracted to masculine women; masculine men who are attracted to feminine women; feminine women who are attracted to masculine men; and feminine women who are attracted to feminine men. Now, replace the word “female” with the word men, and you have the same situation for gay men. Replace “men” with the word women, and you have the same thing for lesbians.

Who you are doesn’t change in regards to who you are attracted to or who is attracted to you. For example, I tend to be more masculine and I am attracted to masculine men. If a guy pursues me, I might be coy and bashful, but definitely I wouldn’t be twirling my hair and revealing my neck, behaviors we associate with femininity. Think of a how a straight man would behave if an alpha woman pursued him. A masculine gay man would likely respond the same way when pursued by another gay man, regardless if that guy is masculine or feminine.

As for straight vibes and gay vibes, I use those terms to help me determine if a guy is emotionally AND physically available to other men. If a guy isn’t into other guys, then I treat him like I would any other person, male or female. But if my gaydar goes off, then that’s a different story!

42

I will test P80 again when there is a chance. I know Paradox1 wrote a report on it to. It is just hard to get out and test lately. But I will test it again and report back I just don’t know when.

Here is the link to Paradox1 report

Report on P80

43

PHEROMONE: P100 (5 mcg/spray)

I got this as a freebie a while back. Since I work at home alone and my social opportunities are limited, I decided to save this one for self-effects. I did several tests on different days. With 1 spray, 2 sprays, and 5 sprays, no self-effects whatsoever. I didn’t notice any changes in my behavior, mood, or thought patterns.

Today I went for the gusto and did 10 sprays, 50 mcg total. No self-effects within the first 30 minutes. I mostly sat at my computer and surfed the web. After that, I went into the other room to work. After about an hour after application, that’s when I noticed a bit of stress and anxiety creeping in. It’s the kind of stress I feel when I think about all the shit I have to do. It’s like I get things done because I have other things to get done. I think about Sisyphus and the never ending tasks that I have to do around here! Oh, this is not good!

After I get done working, I jumped in the shower and washed off the darn mone. I even scrubbed the application areas twice to make sure it’s off of me. I then read about what others say about P100. I can see some similarities in experience of focus and concentration, but my experience had an element of stress and anxiety. I wanted to get my work done, but only because there is more work that needed to follow-up after that. It’s different from P96 when I would do menial tasks out of self-love. With P100, I complete menial tasks because there are more menial tasks to do.

Maybe I’ll try P100 with P96. That might be a worthwhile combo.

44

SITUATION: Open mike at the bar for acoustic musicians.

PHEROMONE:
P96 (50 mcg/spray), single spray to neck

I was curious about wearing this solo at an event I’ve never been to before.

OBSERVATION:
Lots of people and very crowded. I went by myself, and since it was my first time going to this event, I didn’t expect to see anyone I knew. I managed to find a chair near the stage next to a couple women (40s). I chatted with them, and our conversation was very smooth, friendly, and open. Nothing sexual, but it wasn’t forced like regular small talk. It was a very friendly chat about music, instruments we play, and such. We kept the conversation going until the event started. Between sets we chatted a bit more.

During a break, I went to get something to drink. I ran into a guy I briefly dated a few months ago. Didn’t know he was going to be there! Our breakup was strained because he essentially bulldozed over my partner’s boundaries, which was a big no-no in my book, so I broke it off with him. Anyway, he seemed happy to see me, while I was apprehensive. We sat down near the bar and chatted for a while.

The conversation was very warm and easy. He seemed like a different person, like he had more empathy. (When we dated, I felt that he didn’t have sufficient empathy.) It wasn’t anything he said per se, but it was mostly in his mannerism and tone of voice. Maybe he was feeling remorseful? As we chatted, I kept thinking, “Could I get it on with him again? Possibly.” We had a lot in common, and we had a reasonable amount of sexual energy between us.

He was up next to perform on piano, so we exchanged contact info since I had already deleted him from my phone. I found another seat next to a younger woman (20s). We had a very pleasant chat. Like before, it was easy and friendly. Nothing sexual or forced about it. There was an equal exchange of questions that we asked each other. After another hour, I left the bar.

The next day, I sent my friend an email saying I enjoyed seeing him at the bar. He responded with an equally warm message, stating he was glad to see that the communication between us is open again. He even admitted that disrespecting my partner’s boundaries was a mistake and that he had repeated that mistake with someone else recently. However, that situation was much worse. After a few more email exchanges, I came to my senses and decided I didn’t want to get it on with him again. He’ll make a good friend. Nothing more.

ASSESSMENT:
My experience with P96 seems consistent with other mone users. I experienced lots of warmth and friendliness when interacting with people. It’s not always easy for me to make small talk with strangers, but I had an easy time during the evening. The topic wasn’t strained small talk, like talking about the weather or other superficial topic. It was about things that mattered to us. Conversation flowed smoothly and openly.

While at the bar, I also saw my friend in a new light, perhaps with a sense of compassion. I even thought about what it would be like to be dating him again. Maybe he’s a changed man. But the next day when the mone wore off, I came to my senses. I definitely don’t want to date him again. I’ll be glad to hang out with him as a friend, but not romantically or sexually. I just have to remember not to wear P96 around him.

Hi! Pheromones to attract gay/bi men and for work place/social circle?
45

SITUATION: LGBT function at a bar

PHEROMONES:
1 spray of P75 (3.75 mcg/spray)
1 spray of P96 (50 mcg/spray)

After using P75 solo and P96 solo, I wanted to see how they would pair together, particularly around gay men.

OBSERVATIONS:
I applied the mones at home and felt pretty good during my drive to the bar. I felt confident and self-assured. Since this was in downtown right after work, I decided to wear a long sleeve, button down shirt. With my Mohawk, dressing up a bit can work both ways. It can make me look more intimidating (mobster-like), or it can make me more inviting. I guess it all depends on the person.

When I arrived, a half dozen guys had already shown up. I knew only half of them. They seemed pleased to see me and commented on my Mohawk. It made it easier for them to remember my name since it’s quite rememberable. Conversation was very friendly, but remained somewhat superficial.

As time went on, more guys showed up. I introduced myself to some of them, while others came up to me and introduced themselves. Throughout the evening, however, I noticed I had trouble gaining traction on conversations. Men were willing to speak with me, but they didn’t share a whole lot of information, at least not enough for me to grab onto and keep the conversation going. Nobody showed any signs of disrespect or ended the conversation abruptly. Everyone was very friendly and pleasant.

After awhile, I found myself in a conversation with a lesbian (late 30s). She seemed quite eager to learn about my work. We also talked about her work, our favorite beer and wine, health insurance, and such. There were a few guys near us, but the bulk of the men were huddled near the bar. I thought about joining them, but they seemed to be a clique, which didn’t interest me at all. So, after 90 minutes, I decided to go home. I thanked the host of the event, said goodbye to a few folks, and left.

ASSESSMENT:
It was strange that I couldn’t gain traction on conversations with gay men at this event. The only person I had a sustainable conversation was a gay woman. In an earlier post, Eibmoz said that P75 (solo) repelled gay men. I thought P96 would be an appropriate buffer, but it sure didn’t work as well as a social lubricant when I used it solo or paired it with IG.

Perhaps P96 isn’t as useful in a group setting than in one-on-one. That’s when I saw P96 shine. Maybe P96 is also the wrong buffer for P75 when socializing with gay men. P96 assists with people connecting with their feelings. Maybe gay men are no different than straight men. Who the hell wants to connect with their feelings when hanging out at the bar?! Maybe that’s why I was able to sustain a conversation with a gay woman instead.

I’m not going to give up on P75. I still want to see if it’s still possible to connect with gay men using this mone. I know that I had a successful experience pairing P75 with P74. That might be a more worthwhile combo. Justintime469 mentioned in his journal of a successful experience in pairing P96 with P74 (2:1). Maybe this might work with P75. But, I’d have to consider that P96 might not be the best mone in a gay bar situation. But, I also have to consider that P75 might not be an appropriate mone for attracting gay men. It might have too much of a “straight” vibe (not at all emotionally available with the same sex). Or it might be too much of a lone wolf vibe, as Eibmoz suggested. I have other social functions coming up, so I’ll continue experimenting with P75.

46

I have had luck with P96 and P74 I think it says P75 ha ha. I think maybe you could ask mobocaster for some help with P75. I am willing to bet he can at least give you an idea or direction with P75.

47

Noooo! In your journal you said P74 livened up P96 (entry #30). But in any case, men don’t respond favorably to P75 with P96 by themselves. I have another social event soon, so I’ll test P75 with P74 again. I’ll read up a bit more to see if P96 is worth adding to the mix.

EDIT: My bad. My entry (#45) mistakenly said P96 with P75. It should have read P96 with P75. I corrected the typo.

48

I hear P75 can be touchy even at low doses around 1 or 2 MCG even. I might have to pick this one up and try.

49

Use p130 for attracting men at 10 mcg upwards. Trust me heterosexual and homosexual men love it. Especially with shine. Von

50

I was using 3.75 mcg. I thought that would be appropriate for my age, but I’ll dilute to half. That might even work solo. I’m really curious what sort of vibe other guys are experiencing when I wear P75. If it’s a lone wolf vibe, that could have some sex appeal if paired appropriately with another product. When you experiment with it, you can bet I’ll be following your threads!

51

Thanks Von for the tip! I’ll definitely add it to my wish list. I just got in A314 (Royale) and P83.

52

Von: What kind of an attraction are we talking about? Does this mean a straight guy would better not wear P130 when around men?

53

Keep in mind that you’re not going to change one’s sexual orientation with mones. It doesn’t work that way. For instance, I’ve never had sex with a woman, and I don’t intend to. Could it happen? Yes, but I doubt there would be any emotional chemistry involved. It might be more of an intellectual adventure, nothing more.

As a straight guy, you would likely get professional admiration, cooperation, or compassion from other men. Guys, straight or gay, might want to help you succeed in your goals. That would be a positive form of attraction in your case. Just don’t use TUTH or lead guys on and you’ll be fine. Your behavior above all else will define the outcome of your relationships.

By the way, it’s kind of funny being the token gay guy on the journals. Sure would be nice to read other gay men’s experience since my social interactions are very limited. (hint hint hint)

54

It would be the same kind of vibe I get from men using Ammo or TAC, then. I have never tried P130, so it is a mystery molecule for me.

55

I better read up on your experience of Ammo and TAC. Would be interesting if I can replicate the results and to the extent I can take the situation. I’ll add TAC to my wish list.

56

SITUATION: Poly support group.

PHEROMONES:
3 drops of A314 (Royale v1), applied earlier in the day
1 spray of P74 (37.5 mcg/spray)
2 sprays of IShine (1x)

I had applied A314 earlier in the day for an appointment with the chiropractor. It was my first visit at this particular office. Got a massage and an adjustment for some upper back pain. No noticeable hits, but everyone was courteous and helpful, something I might already expect even if I weren’t wearing A314.

In the evening, The Man and I went to our poly support group meeting. Since I already had on A314, I decided to temper it with P74 and IShine.

OBSERVATIONS:
Our meetings take place at a tavern with both indoor and outdoor seating. There are often lots of people at the tavern, so it’s sometimes a challenge to corral group members and find an appropriate place. The Man and I were the members there, so I went on social media to tell others how to find us.

While I was trying to figure out how to use the app on my iPhone, another member showed up. He was joking around with me and was very chatty. However, I was too intent on typing and kept making mistakes, so I abruptly walked away from him to type my message without distractions.

When I was done, we found a place outside and settled down. Some members began to show up, and we introduced ourselves. By the time the meeting got underway, we had at least a dozen people, a good mix of new and returning members.

I had several decent conversations with men and women. Pleasant, easy going, yet nothing memorable. Some of the new members mentioned they felt intimidated and weren’t sure what to expect at these meetings. Sometimes they think it’ll be like a meat market. In time, they learn it’s simply a support group to help members navigate the complexity of polyamory.

ASSESSMENT:
I felt A314 was very distracting. It was the wrong product for this particular event. I had better results with Ammo/IO and IO/IShine. These combos were much better social lubricants for this particular situation, particularly IO. A314 provided status, but it’s not at all necessary or wanted in a support group. New people are already intimidated. Adding status to the mix might make them feel more apprehensive about opening up. P74 and IShine didn’t temper A314 sufficiently.

I also felt that I was too much on a mission - corralling members, making sure new members are welcomed, making sure The Man had a refill on his beer. P74 and IShine might be appropriate social mones, but A314 just wasn’t appropriate for these meetings. Besides, I tend to be type-A and a no-nonsense kind of guy. If I’m on a mission, lord help you if you stand in my way. This was very apparent when I walked away from the chatty member so I could continue typing in peace. I avoided him during the rest of the evening.

I’ll reserve A314 for more business applications or when I need to impress someone. I’ll make sure to stick with IO and other social mixes for the poly support group.

By the way, A314 (Royale v1) has a pleasant sandalwood scent. Reminds me of my New Age, hippie days in college when I used to smoke… I mean burn… lots of sandalwood incense. After a while, I could smell androstenone in the forumula. I used three drops because that’s what some folks reported that worked best for them. I’ll do more testing with A314, but I’ll start with 1 drop to find my sweet spot.

57

I wear p130 all the time and am straight.. I just mean p130 really opens men up makes them feel good and in my case makes them want to help me. I’ve had gays being attracted to all types of mixes but p130 for me is an excellent male buffer. Its attracted unwanted homosexual attention before but you just have to know how to deal with it. I wouldnt say p130 has a sexual orientation but if I was gay and wanted to attract male attention I would definitely use it.

58

I know you have been testing out P75 and trying to pair it with other molecules. Maybe that P130 would work. It is worth a try down the road. Von is a pretty good tester and has some really good knowledge and journal to.

59

SITUATION: Social time with colleagues.

A bunch of folks in my field get together monthly at a tavern to network and socialize. It’s mostly men with a few women, as far as I know. The Man and I are the only gay men there.

PHEROMONES:
1 spray of P75 (3.75 mcg/spray)
2 sprays of IShine (1x)
3 sprays of IO (1x) (The third spray was an accident.)

I’ve used IShine and IO successfully with another group of people. Since this group is mostly straight men, I thought I’d add P75 and see what happens. Everyone at the group knows that The Man and I are a couple.

OBSERVATIONS:
Because of my propensity to being punctual, we were the first one there. A few minutes later, some members shows up. I chatted with a woman for a while, but for some reason, I didn’t feel very chatty. In fact, I was quite hungry and needed to eat something real soon. (I’m one of those guys who often regret saying stuff while hungry. Whenever I get grumpy, The Man would ask, “Did you eat? Do you want a snack?”)

Anyway, I order a sandwich and a beer at the bar. After that, I noticed that one of the members settled on a location in the tavern that was dark without very good lighting. I took it upon myself to move the group to another location that was brighter. Without question, everyone gathered their belongings and moved to the new location. The guy who chose the previous location made a passive-aggressive comment about how he had been outvoted. Whatever rationale he gave for setting up the group there, I obviously didn’t agree with him. But, the group already moved, so I let it go.

While waiting for my sandwich, I chatted with a guy who wanted to pick my brains about something he was working on. I noticed I gave short answers and didn’t elaborate very much. This made him ask more questions, which I found annoying.

More people showed up, but I remained seated, sipping my beer, and thinking how much I’d rather be at home. Typically I get up and schmooze, but not today. Even after eating my sandwich, I still didn’t feel very social. I also noticed that people didn’t come up to me to chat. In fact, when someone asked me a question, they did so from a distance, about 6 feet away. They didn’t come close to me like they typically had done so in the past. The Man also sensed that I wasn’t very talkative, so he answered those questions for me. I didn’t mind one bit.

After a couple hours, I asked The Man if we could go, and we did. Typically, I would go around and tell everyone goodbye, but I only said goodbye to those in my vicinity.

ASSESSMENT:
Wow, I’m really striking out here! At the same time, I’m learning some very valuable information. P75 is a very peculiar mone. In the four times I’ve used P75, it seems to work best when I know I’m going to be in a position of authority, such as giving a presentation. It’s not at all effective when I’m on equal footing with others, such as with peers or in purely social situations.

I also noticed that P75 accentuates the lone wolf vibe. To pull it off successfully, I have to be extremely friendly; otherwise I’d scare people. The first time I used it, I paired it with P74. That combo worked like a charm. I felt friendly and people were very receptive; they treated me as if I were their best friend. The second time I used it, it was solo. That didn’t work at all. I was a man on a mission and didn’t have time for nonsense. The third time was paired with P96. I felt good about myself and people were pleasant and friendly. I just couldn’t get any traction on conversations with other gay men.

I was hoping IO and IShine would temper P75, but they didn’t in my case, even after eating and increasing my blood sugar. After this latest experience in using P75, I need to be very mindful about my mood before applying it. I’ve been accused of being bossy in the past, and I’m paying attention to how I provide feedback and information. However, P75 can accentuate that behavior in me; if I’m not careful, I can behave like an asshole. In fact, I need to be careful when using P75, A314, and IG. Any of these products can accentuate my bossy behavior if not tempered properly.

For me, P75 might be best reserved for purely business situations when I need the upper hand. However, I’m willing to try P75 in a social situation one more time, but I’ll do so only after I dilute it to half strength. I have it at 3.75 mcg/spray, which could be too high for my body chemistry and temperament. I’ll also pair it again with P74 since I know that combo had worked well for me recently. I’ll see how that works with other gay men.

I also learned that I need social mones more so than status mones. I can pull off status readily, but I need more work in being more social. I don’t lack confidence. In fact, people often say I seem very confident and poised. I can also be very forthright and up front. I’m just the type that speaks only when I feel I have something worthwhile to say. I’m not a gabber or into small talk. Maybe this is why I like P96 a lot. I feel content with myself whenever I wear it. When I’m feeling content, I’m willing to share more of myself.

Von_phero suggested using P130 for socializing with gay men. I’ll give it a try at some point. First, I want to see if I can pull off P75 at a lower dosage. If that works, I’ll experiment with P130 solo, and then I’ll try it paired with P75.

60

Hi HankBuddy thanks for making this as it is so helpful especially since i have no idea about this. I currently just brought P74, Instant Shine and Turn Up The Heat and is wondering have you tired these three combinations together before? There is this one guy who i wasn’t sure is just super friendly or into as since he started working there he has been watching and very openly talking to me and wondered if we just need a little push as i keep getting this vibe from him.