I guess it depends on the definition of “flirting.” I’ve been told happy-laughing conversation counts as ‘flirting’ where I just think of it as a passing witty moment.
I agree. Flirting is showing interest in my view. Actual IOI’s as per this thread. Basically we are agreeing though.
It’s some damn good advice and a woman’s perspective is always a great thing for these threads. Nominated as well 
I know I am! I have had classmates who had to tell me my students were hitting on me, when I was being asked if I had a boyfriend, if I liked double dates, if I wanted to come watch him play (Varsity Division I) basketball, 'cause he could get me in free. And guys in clubs, I never noticed anyone was hitting on me, but when I asked a friend why all the short guys kept trying to talk to me…“Umm, 'cause they’re at eye-level.”
(It took me a few minutes to get the reference…here’s a hint: I’m 5’9" and was wearing 2" heels.) 
I have said the only ‘sign’ I’ll notice is if some one hits me with a billboard! 
So guys take note, because I keep getting told I can’t possibly be that oblivious, that I must get hit on constantly, and must have for quite some time (by straight female friends, too), that I can’t be that unaware, and yet I am. Not all girls are ignoring you or acting indifferently, some really just assume guys don’t hit on them, some think it’s just friendly conversation, and some of us do blow off the idea that it’s a “hit” if you’re drunk (that’s what many guys call tipsy, by the way).
Im sure theres oblivious women just like oblivious men. But Id think a guy asking you to go somewhere with him just the two of you you should almost always consider that a hit haha
And it soynds like youre a hot box of rocks haha
Try not to ask a girl anything! In all my experiences girls hate being asked questions like “Do you wanna hangout tonight” because it puts them on the spot, something more like “You should come hangout with me” or “I’m going to the movies later if you wanna come”. Usually if I ask a direct question I get turned down.
No, it’s not that “do you wanna hangout” is bad for me being on the spot, it just means I now have to be the one to come up with an idea of what to do, when I hadn’t been contemplating the idea at all, and the asker obviously has. And “I’m going to the movies tonight, wanna come?” is so high-school.
It’s better to be specific, e.g., “I want to see Transformers 3 and Captain America.” “Wow, me too!” “Cool, want to go together?” Or “I want to take kiteboarding lessons someday.” “That’s so AWESOME, I do too, but I can’t find anyone to go with me.” “Well, I’ll go with you–next weekend?”
I’ll turn down “hangout” invites because I’m afraid it will be sitting on a questionably-spotted couch, captive to some TV show I loathe, with only PBR to drink. If I like someone, these are NOT the memories I want to develop!
And if you’ll read the context, the asker was my student and I am/was totally oblivious.
Aw man.. Ive got this whole list, with the exception of eye dilation because I haven’t gotten close enough to see, going on from this girl in my class. I tried to return the favor but she is darn playing hard to get!
That would kind of be an oxymoron if someone showed you every IOI on the list, but is playing hard to get 
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You’re right Steve, I can see how that can be an oxymoron haha. I guess best way to explain is to provide some info.
In the class, I sit by the wall and she sits all the way on the other side by the door. Our professor usually stands in the middle of class between our column so when I look to my right to look at the professor she is looking to her left to see the professor. Because of this position we can see each other in the background while looking at the professor. We would look at each other but one would usually look away real quick once eye contact is made. One day, she gave a presentation in class and I tried to get a good extended eye contact and we did. I even winked at her to let her know Im interested too. After that, throughout her presentation, she would continue to look at me and we made lots of eye contact and she would smile and I did too. Now because of this, I’m sure that she knows Im interested but whenever I try to get to her, which is after class, she would leave immediately and with her being next to the door, she is usually one of the first to get out. She would also at times look back at me making eye contact and smiling when leaving but since I sit on the other side, I usually have to get through the other students to be able to get to the door and by the time I get there she is gone. So I guess that’s what I mean by “playing hard to get”.
Geez that was a lot more text than I expected :o
I’m guessing you have assigned seats or something. Otherwise, you could just move next to her one day. If that’s the case, then get to class first one day. Write your number on a piece of paper and put it on her desk. When she picks it up and looks at you, wink at her and smile .
Ahahaha that’s so slick, I’ll have to try that. Thanks 
And yeah we have assigned seats.
Well always come from the mindset that you are the prize. Everyone is interested in you and have to win your affection, not the other way around. You need to make her earn your time because it is so busy filled with dates of interesting people.
Be careful of leaving numbers before you talk to someone. I have never seen it work out right because it says a couple of negative connotations that need to be addressed. For one its almost as if you don’t have the balls to talk to her so you need to go about it in a way that lowers value. Two is the big one. Your time is so valuable you are giving away everything by giving someone you don’t even know and therefore have no idea if she is even worth your time your number. I’ve seen it done many times and it just never works out. You’re basically saying she has more value than yourself.
Best approach is always to be confident. You know she wants you already so believe it and come from that perspective. Walk slowly but deliberately up to her making eye contact. Never break it, let her. Come from an angle so its not intimidating.
When you get right up to her take three steps past her. Her heart will flutter like OMG he is approaching me. Wait he just walked by, WTH just happened. Stop and as if an after thought, look over your shoulder and say hi. She will say hi back because now she is vying for your attention. You passed her up.
I cannot tell you what to say next, but depending on her body language I would say something along the lines as I saw you and I wanted to get to know you. The conversation should make her qualify herself to you though. So what that she might look good. Look around. There are hundreds others that also peak your interest. So what makes her interesting?
Today I was about to try leaving my number on her desk but I changed my mind. Good thing I did. Turns out she didn’t show up for class today so if I had left my number on her desk, it wouldve been just laying there and someone else mightve picked it up.. And then I read Steve’s advice. While reading it, I have read about some similar things from personal developments like how you said I am the price, everyone has to win me. Kind of like this is my life, I will live it how I want it and everyone else is just a part of it. Now while reading your post Steve, questions were suddenly storming my head including:
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You mentioned I should have her win my affection and not the other way around. Would that mean that I should pay less attention to her and make her find a way to get my attention and/or time?
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You suggest making eye contact while walking up to her and let her break the eye contact. What if she doesn’t break eye conact, should I break the eye contact (maybe look past her) or should I continue making eye contact while getting closer and finally passing her (although I find it weird to just stop after walking past and then turning back, might imply that im anxious or unsure?)
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If you don’t mind, what would be an example of a conversation that would have her qualifying herself?
Still, the definition of flirting is open to interpretation–I’ve been accused of flirting (by my ex), when I was just having happy conversation. I was also even MORE oblivious than I now am. If the other person had attempted a follow-through activity (if I RECOGNIZED it), I would have been completely nonplussed and a bit offended. Therefore, NO ONE ever should assume it’s “ok” to “go for” someone taken, that that’s what they REALLY want. Still, ‘no’ means ‘no.’
The eye-contact test. While you are conversing with her, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once, hold the eye contact a little “too long”–just a fraction too long, so there’s a brief, more intimate moment between you. If she holds your eye, she’s interested in more. If she looks away or seems upset by it, she’s not. What do you do after you get a good eye contact
If I listened to how many girls told me I they weren’t interested (no) I would never had dated a girl in my life. I met a girl in an abusive relationship this weekend. By that standard its OK to just leave her in it and let her get her ass beat every other weekend instead of hooking her up with a good friend. He makes a fortune, is a great guy, treats women with respect and is going places. She said she had a BF to him. I think this logic calls for me to disregard and persist.
I’m not saying break up somebody in a happy relationship but a lot of times people say no just because. No means no if we are talking rape. I disagree that people should just give up at the first sign of resistance. I would hate to think of a world where people just gave up.
Absolutely! I don’t count an unhealthy situation as a true relationship. But…break them up for HER sake, then let her have some time to recover and find herself BEFORE going for her.