how do you guys deal with these women? im seeing this gorgeous chick but she has a boyfriend. i click with her so dam well. i finally meet somebody but she has a dam boyfriend, just my luck. so now im stuck in this limbo where she has all these rules when we hang out and she cant commit to anything with me. its fucking making me insane. i feel like its going to dwindle to nothing.
btw, her bf is gone for a year but comes home for 15 days in october. this leaves to much time for her feelings for me to just fade, right? need to vent this out…sorry for this AFC bullshit.
First you’ll have to figure out if she likes you in “that way” or as a “best girlfriend”-type of way… If #2 you can obviously forget it straight away… Otherwise there is stuff you can try, ask in a seduction forum after searching a bit…
Personally I wouldn’t do it that way… If she doesn’t go for it, you’re fucked permanently…
Instead I’d do a bit of a withdrawal from her until she asks you what’s wrong and then take it from there… It’s a softer approach that leaves you with more outs…
Then tell her something like you really like her, but you don’t want to torture yourself by staying close to her, yet always being the bridesmaid and never the bride… Something like that…
It has the same effect, but you can rebound MUCH better than giving an ultimatum… I speak from personal experience, as well…
Consider that you might be just “filling in” while he is gone.
I read your post and immediatly got a twitch in my stomach.
This girl has a boyfriend and while he’s away, she still had needs I’d bet all my mones you’re the fill in guy while he’s gone. I’ve been there…I convinced myself it was more and when he came back, I was dumped…in the nicest , you’re my best friend too way…WARNING…If she’ll do this to him…think about it…she’d do it to you too. She’s dishonoring the guy behind his back…put yourself in his shoes. Cause after she dumps him for you and you leave for “whatever” reason…all of a sudden she has a new “friend”…tell him about YOU…and saying, I don’t know I think I have feelings for you etc…blah blah…
yea I’m def not giving her an ultimatum haha. but i really don’t think I’m the fill in guy. she always saying things like “why couldn’t we have met a month ago when i was single.” and she ain’t fucking me; she has these rules that she wont break as long as shes dating him. and as far as i know between her and her bf, they aren’t the healthiest couple. i think the only thing keeping them together is the fact that hes not here and she feels guilty. regardless, when he gets back in October all those old feelings are going to flood back to her and I’m sure shell be smitten with him all over again…the real question is, will it last?
right now I’m playing it like this: she knows EXACTLY how i feel. i have strong feelings for her. and from what she tells me, shes into me as well. theres a lot of time between now and October for her to get tired of always seeing me so i plan on easing up with the hangout sessions; i don’t want to be available to her all the time. i also plan to respect her shit, I’m not going to try pressing it in the bedroom with her, trying to fuck her, i want her to trust me and know I’m respecting her situation. so to sum it up, I’m playing the interested guy who tends to be kind of mysterious but still respects her tremendously. yay or nay? opinions? comments?
*i also have an arsenal of A314, TUTH, IH, IO, and The Edge. hope this will help the situation
actually about to hit the club in an hour and shell be there. she texted me before saying, “ill be the girl at the end of the bar drooling over you.” it was said in a humorous context but c’mon, thats still good, right?
If she ain’t planning on doing anything…move on. I had to tell one woman that “not making a decision” IS a decision…it’s deciding the let something else make the choice for you. If her leaving her man is not on the table, and her essentially cheating on him with you is not an option (either by your rules or hers) then my best guess is she’s showing you just enough interest to keep you interested because the attention and desire she knows she gets from you strokes her ego…smash the ego. Don’t be a dick about it and suddenly start acting flippant and aloof. But go meet some other chicks. Show some other pretty woman attention. If you really want to drive her up the wall make sure the other girl is prettier, thinner (this one drives them insane) or has bigger hoo hoo’s. If you can manage finding a girl that fits all three criteria her blood will be boiling so bad that cutting her would be like cutting a xenomorph from Aliens.
She won’t make a choice, make it for her…choose to be something other than a lovesick puppy dog (seriously no offense intended bro) happy to get what little scraps of attention and affection she’s willing to throw your way.
RADMAN, ive been lurking on this website for a while and have always payed close attention to your posts. i look up to you and will take what u told me into consideration. its gona be hard to say no though. if the oppotunity presents itself where i can meet another hot chick, ill go for it. remember though, im very AFC-ish, maybe more of a rAFC but all the same to me. i get that one-itis easily.
I also have to agree with happytappin… There is nothing in your explanations that really makes me think she’s THAT into you… Which brings us back to my first post…
well its now the mornign after the club. after she had a few drinks in her she was all the fuck over me. sucking on my neck, telling me she wanted me so bad, rubbing me and hugging me. finally we went back to my house but she fell asleep on my bed.
I’m wondering if the boyfriend could possibly be overseas faithfully serving his country. In combat! Just suppose! He has enough on his mind while he still try to continue to keep open lines of communciation going with his girl back home -hoping that even though he’s making a great
sacrifices; that “Jodie doesn’t have his girl and gone.”
Look dude - If this chick really is all over you then you are actually hurting your chances BADLY by not forcing her to make a decision on what you and her are.
Think of it this way - For the majority she is already acting in an ethically suspect fashion. She is abusing her boyfriends trust (unless they have an agreement that she can flirt around, just not fuck). That means she is either a TOXIC person who doesn’t care about the people who put their trust into her OR she has rationalized what she is doing with you in some way. If it is the first you need to get away from her, toxic people are bad for you… like really bad. She is USING you to boost her own ego, sometime down the road she will leave you in a hurtful way because your novelty has worn off and she needs new blood for her ego boost.
If it is the second her actions are at least conscionable - You need to figure out how she is rationalizing her actions with you… if you are just a little harmless fun then I would argue that even if you do convince her to leave her guy what is to stop her from finding some more harmless fun on the side once the novelty of your relationship has worn off? However, if she is a serial monogamist then I would wager that she has told herself that her and her BF are already broken up… it just isn’t official yet. She can’t bring herself to go all the way because by not going all the way she can rationalize that she isn’t being so bad because “she hasn’t gone all the way.”
You are fucking yourself but not pushing her because if she is toxic, pushing her will get that shit out of your life which is a REALLY GOOD THING.
If she is a serial monogamist, she needs a push to get out of her relationship. If she doesn’t get it she will not leave her guy EVEN when she constantly tells you how unhappy she is with him.
The part about serial monogamists is spoken from personal experience… I’ve been in 3 serious relationships in the last 10 years, and I’ve only spent a TOTAL of 8 months single. I’ve wanted out of relationships, BADLY, and found myself incapable of putting the final stake it in… literally spent months, years with women I can no longer stand because nothing pushed me over the edge.
In summary - You are giving her no reason to change anything - she can stay with her boyfriend AND have the benefit of your attention with no chance of your going away… why would she do something uncomfortable like breaking up?
lol dude buy some cops from LS. Next time she falls asleep on your bed, dilute the cops in something and spritz a little on her navel above the belt line and a little on yourself and then go to sleep next to her. Let her wake up hung over and smelling sex in the air…if you’re really daring go to the bathroom and jerk into a towel and leave it next to the bed. Freak her the fuck out for a bit.
Cops=copulins ie vaginal secretions Instant Jerk used to have copulins in it to enhance the jerk vibe by giving you a “just got fucked” vibe. Love Scents sells cops in Essence of Woman. Basically diluting and spraying cops on both of you would make it smell like sex had occured.
