I guess it’s tied then, because I’m with April. I don’t think bringing a single rose on every date, the occasional box of chocolates and asking at the end of an evening when he can see her again is overkill at all. It signifies genuine interest.
I think this interpretation comes from a society in which people tend to confuse “equality” with “sameness”.
From what I hear Habib saying, she responded very well to being treated with less supplication, so I would not backtrack on the progress he’s made. I agree with Tisha and Dolly. I think he’ll sense when it’s time to change his stance to pursuing again. In the meantime, this lady still has more to prove before she gets things (or roses) handed to her!
How are things going, Habib? Have you seen her again?
I hate to interupt the party my beautiful online friends,
but i heard her say ’ I LOVE YOU '. Now i am scared. I wasnt prepared for this, not yet any way, and i dont know what context she meant it.
here is the background.
At the moment we are working in different branches of the Bank in different parts of London, so we dont see each other like we used to. She will be back here in head office in October. She asked me for some help on an assignment she was working on, and since i am only one of 5 people who can produce such reports, she really has very little to choose from. I thought i’d be a jerk about it and see what happens. So i messed around not giving any commitment whether i would help her or not. Couple of days later i sent her an sms saying i will but i have conditions. Which she said was fine. After 4 days i emailed her twice, one with conditions and the other was a long email which started by telling her to forget the conditions.
here they are (edited of course)
'You have to understand i work 6 days a week, go to the Gym, go out in
the evenings and i need to visit family as well. So i will do it when i
get the time OK.
here are my conditions.
1. I want …money
2. Your Birth day
3. Natalia’s Phone number
4. I want to see you drunk
5. The most important condition i will tell you when i finished the
assignment…so dont ask what it is now, cos i wont tell you and i
might change my mind about writing it…
6. Any problems with this…i dont want to know or care… My time is
important to me, i dont care about money or your problems. So please
dont waste my time. Life is to short.’
the second email
L…
Ignore the other email. I was just messing with you ok. Of course i
will help you with your assignment for Charles’s. L… i know
your having some problems, even if you dont say them, i can help, but
you have to understand that i to am very busy, i have my own department now, and i have to work, visit people, and do other things.
Dont use the …, please, if you get caught, they
will fire you, why do you think its so cheap.
I cant help with macroeconomics…**.
You can do it, i know you can, Your very clever girl, just lazy and
crazy!!! Just push your self and dont be afraid all the time.
Theres nothing to be afraid of ok. If you dont do it, you know what
will happen? They will fire you or put you on probation, do you want that?
I know you want that bonus, so prove it to your self that you can do it.
As for your problems, just tell me what they are, even if i cant help,
at least talking about them makes things easier to understand.
I am busy, really there are more important things in my life at the
moment, so for me to give you my time, is a lot. You can call me
anytime to talk… remember i didnt sit my exams for you
l… So we could do the revision together. You dont understand what
i gave up… but you dont care about me any way.
Even if i dont answer your call straight away… i will get back
to you as soon as i can. Dont worry about Charles’s assignment, its
easier then it looks.
MY ONLY CONDITION IS
If you want me to help you, then you must help me so i can help you
ok, you have to understand that i am not someone who asks for much,
except just honesty and respect.
You should understand for me Time is the most important thing, money
comes and goes, but Time when its gone it will never come back. Thats
what upsets me more then anything. So dont waste it ok, especially
mine.
Thats all my condition is, and together we can get you an A rated for the
assignment, i promise thats how good it will be. But you must help to
help you ok. We can do it.
Another thing … i am the greatest man you will ever meet. Say that…
Habib is the greatest man i ever met 10 times a day.
Smile ok, always smile.
Your a clever girl, so dont waste it with people who waste your time,
you should spend your time with clever people, they will benefit you
more then any one else. Ask your self, can Natalia or any one else
help me with this assignment or my exams? Have they benefited you in
any way? Plus are they really your friends?
Thats one thing i learnt in life, that i hope you learn soon. Who your
friends really are. I know who my friends are, and i treat them like
they are Gold.
Your a wonderful girl, but your just lost at the moment to many wrong
people and wrong things messing up your life, its all in your words
and body language. The right people are in your life, you just cant
see them for some reason. L… dont mess up … like i did.
She sms me to say she was crying, i phoned her, and she was crying, like a baby. I asked her why, she said it was the most nicest thing she ever read. (I Geuss i am finally breaking down the walls of troy, and my lady Helen {L…} is falling for me???). I didnt say much, i was trying to stop my self from saying i love you to her.
I sat my professional stockmarket exams, and failed the other day, and i sms her to say that i failed, and that i was crying. ( I wasnt). She phoned me and consoled me… this is when it happened, i was feeling down and full of self pity, she was so nice
‘Habib your the most cleverest man i know and the most nicest, dont say things like that about yourself, i love you, (
i froze) …(i detect a split second pause in her voice like someone who just said something they shouldnt have, you know the type of pause i mean, then quickly i hear) your friends and family loves you (very rapidly)… (Is she covering her own slip, admission, or mistake)’…
I said ’ you love me?’ i hear a giggle… then i said ‘can you put that in writing’ And then i here more jovial laughter. (Yes ladies you may laugh i actually said that ‘put it in writng’. I guess thats the banker in me speaking.)
So my lovely friends. What on earth is going on, where do i go from here. She has her exams soon and they are tough, but she promised we can meet up after that and she promised to take me out on my birthday in September. But i have heard these before. Is she playing with me, or is she changing? I think she is changing.
Why do we talk alot on the phone, We work longhours 10-12 hours per day. We live in different parts of the city (40 KM apart). London is around 75 KM from one end to the other.Can take 2 hours to get to her place, so its easier to talk on the phone, especially when your tired from work.
After reading through this post carefully and due to her latest reaction I think the I love you was definatly a “slip up”, that she ment for you to hear.
I don’t know if you understand what I mean. I think there is definatly something there, but shhe’ doesn’t seem willing to give up her control just yet. She seems to like having you at her will and is trying to get back that control after your change in attitude.
I could be wrong about this, she could be genuinly changing for the better.
Despite all the back and forth “games” she seems to have been palying there does seem to be genuine feelings there for you.
My advice ould be not to jump into anything yet, keep it casual and playfull, take her words on a lighter note and not too serious just yet.
Wait it out a little bit more, give her some attention but not the full force you had before, not yet…
If she really does love you and want more than just friendship she will let you know soon enough, you just have to be aware of it, she might not actually speak it, so be very aware of how she acts and speaks with you in the next couple of weeks.
Anyone else feel free to give their two scents as I am sure that my opinion may not be compltly accurate and the more experienced users here could help our friend Habib out much better 
Well I think your gaining ground. I think she just needed to know that you would not tolarate being treated crappy. She may not have even realized she was doing that. She also may be realizing that she shouldnt take your friendship for granted.
I would keep doing what your doing. Help her with her assignment and talk to her on the phone or by email. Try to plan some dates and see if she shows up or cancels. She is taking exams so you should plan the dates for after that. You dont need to panic about the “I love you” statement. Its a good thing she said it first in your situation. You dont have to say it back until you are ready.
Tisha
I’m with Tisha completely.
I also think it’s very good that you said, “Okay, but context?” That’s a strong sign of deductive thinking in my opinion.
You seem to have more of a handle on things, just keep using that brain.
Hi
Sorry this is turning into a Blog. So if your bored i am sorry.
This time, 2 dabs of Alpha, 2 sprays of TUTH, 3 IS, 2 IFM, 2 dabs of Kouros.
Well the change is happening, last night she informed me she will be coming to … at 12pm and left it hanging, so i said i was going to be there at 2pm, but i actually got there at 11.30am. At the suggestion of April & LaurieNY i decided to buy a rose, but all i could find was 2 dozen pink roses, and i bought a box of Swiss Chocolates. The last time we met i was mean to her, this time i was going to be nice to her and see what happens.
Well she was surprised to see the flowers and was speechless. The chocolates she was expecting any way, because i told her beforehand i bought some for her. She apologised for not buying anything for me. I said in a manly voice ‘i am the man, and i buy the gifts, just take them’ She blushed and kissed me. She commented on the scent and said it was nice, i think it was the TUTH she picked up.
Well she did stare into my eyes a few times, and i saw desire in her eyes. since officially we were working and it was a working meeting not a date, i worked. My plan was to see how long it took for her to break the silence. 10 minutes was all it took. She blushed a few times, especially after the compliments i gave her, about her eyes being beautiful blue, and her cheeks being as pink as the roses i gave her. But the main thing i think was, she was staring me in the eyes and holding it. I joked that i found the flowers in the garbage, which annoyed her. We had some of the chocolates, i chose the ones she ate and she chose the ones i ate, even putting one in my mouth. She also said i looked so handsome (i have lost 8 KG in weight) especially when i smile.
I decided to leave early, at 2pm, even though i didnt need to go. She kept asking ‘do you have to go’. So i left even though she still wanted to talk.
I felt good, and why did i feel sick after applying all those pheros today? (Before applying the Kouros).
Could of been the IFM I have heard a few reports of of nausea but nothing drastic and it usually passes. Were you by chance a little nervous ? That could have contributed to it. I mean that “I love you” was probably hanging in the back of your mind and I think its the first time you have seen her since then.
I am glad its working out for you. 
Tisha
Oh and I think it was the tuth that had her eye balling you. Not that your not worth eyeballing without it but it probably helped her get rid of some inhibitions.
wow i just read all the threads here andi have to say ladys yous are very helpful…your advice sounds like its right on the money…i may pst my own dilemmas fr a bit of help soon! oh and good look with that girl mate hope it works out for you
Aliasno1
The ladies here are absolutely amazing, if it were not for them, i guess i would have messed up with my Juliet. If i could i would send them all flowers and chocolates and the latest Metallica album as well.
Tisha
No i wasnt nervous, just my usually cockyself and plus i didnt have breakfast in the morning. But i think it was TUTH, thats made me feel unwell last time as well.
I can see how too much -none + too little food intake can equal nausea. Be careful!
I give up… cant be asked any more… my sanity is worth more. Thank you ladies for your help any way. I am going to call it a day, and forget her … she is not worth it any more.
so goodbye my friends… i wish you all the best and long prosperous lives, maybe will meet again…
Habib, habibi?
If you are still reading, what happened to make you leave?
Best
May
You know one the two most defining characteristics of human nature are
I chose my resistance, the complete and utter disassociation with L…,
The resistance involved changing my phone numbers and blocking emails. She is not in the office till october so no need to take evasive action there.
Why this measure? I do not want to elaborate, except i have mentioned human nature to survive through resistance. Being humiliated not once but twice in the space of an hour is in my mind the ultimate sin. Therefore unforgiveable.
The irony of it all was the night before we spoke on the phone for 4 hours non stop, neither of us could put the phone down, we spoke of guardedly of love and joked about it, flirted and other things as well.
I have brooded over this for a while now, and even though i am still feeling the symptoms of loss, i feel i did not make a rash decision. The decision i made was the right one. Better to have loved and lost then not have loved at all, RIGHT?
Better to die free now, then live a lifetime of servitude.
But i will go on. I passed my Stockmarket exams, i heard she failed all hers, as for her assignment, well … you can imagine the assistance she received from me. None.
I have a great life in front of me, i think i can retire within 5 years now. Now to put it all behind.
They say sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me… no… physical scars heal but emotional ones dont. I wish they could heal.
To my friends, Tisha, Laurie, Gone with the Wind, May, April, Phoenix and others, thank you for leaving the door open, i think this place is an ideal shelter for me right now.
Hi Habi
I am not sure exactly what happened and you dont need to tell us. Its obvious it wasnt good. I am so sorry things didnt work out the way you wanted them to but at least now you know.
Those feeling of loss are painful but you will make it though them. Just believe in yourself and dont rush things and better experiences and people will come to you. I really do believe that to.
All scars heal some just take longer then others. They may leave a trace of the pain from the past but they do end up hurting alot less.
Congrats on your Stockmarket exams 
Hang in there Habi things have a way of working the way they are destined to. This just means your destiny still awaits you. Hugs (((((Habi)))))))
Tisha
Certain things you have written sound similar to my own experiences, she maybe just hasnt reached the same level of maturity as you yet or is just not as far down the path of life as you are and is uncertain about what she wants. As hard as it might be I would be thankful that you’ve avoided any further emotional entanglement with her and maintained your self respect throughout.
Im glad im not so hooked om one women phew
I dont know i think she is playing you because she can.I don’t believe its all her fault, no way. It always takes two to tango.By that i mean i think your way to attached to an outcome (being with her) and your not making your intension’s known to her ie;YOUR SEXY …
Im glad your now showing her you have some balls.Remember you always have to be ready to leave her at any moment.Doesn’t mean your going to but your willing to.
Tish is of course right about the healing. If you can survive a wound your body and mind will eventually start putting the pieces together. There may be scars that last a lifetime, but they will interfere with functioning less and less as time wears on.
Best wishes as you get back to your feet. This might be a good time to try out some pheromones and make some new friends, even if you don’t feel like doing so.
Yay! Habib, Habibi, you are back! We were all wondering about you!
Hugs (((((Habib)))))
I am away to Spain with my family for a couple of weeks. I fly in a few hours but hopefully will catch up with your news when I get back!
Welcome back!
May