Bolkie's Quest for Lovin'

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Journals
1

Hello guys,

finally starting a journal because;

A: This is the best way to empirically document my pheromone use

B: I need help with pheromones and other issues

C: Pherotalk Sergeant Major Steve recommended it

Some general info about me:

28 year old male
5"8 or 173cm
68kg or 150lbs.
student (Master Societal History)
Living in Netherlands (Rotterdam suburb)
Mixed heritage (50% Dutch / 50% South Asian)
I work parttime for my uncle, we are doing a startup on the internet

More info about me in the following threads:

I have never had a girl/woman show any interest in me. I have never been kissed. This situation has come to an end or it will be the end of me. I am 200% committed and I will not go down without a fight. Pheromone use is just one of the weapons in my arsenal. The battle is actively going on for over three years now. No succes yet. But the journey is more important then the destination I guess.

This is my current inventory:
a314
IG to-go
IH to-go
Ammo FF21
IO to-go
CTTM2 to-go
TUTH
IJ to-go
P83
mx390
IS
Copulins (4 drops in 30ml Neroli PA)
Adrostadienone (on the way)
Aqua Vitae scented (on the way)

I have never experienced an IOI in my life. I know this is statistically impossible, but I would lie if I told you I had ever seen one. Using the pheromones did not change this. I must be doing something wrong.

What does work for me is a314. I am experiencing more respect from males. My opinion is valued more, I ‘lead’ sometimes and get to make business decisions. Nothing happened in the attraction department as of yet.

Until now androstenone has not done anything for me. So I decided to try a different approach and get my hands on some A1. I hope it does not let me down.

I bought the copulins to neutralize my harmless vibe. I tried to counteract the fact that women automatically classify me as undesirable or ‘damaged goods’. No effect as of yet.

I sometimes tend to whine like a little bitch when things don’t work out for me. So I ask you guys to virtually bitchslap me when I sound like a little bitch. Nothing productive can come from such an attitude anyway :stuck_out_tongue:

I cannot wait to get started. If you have any suggestions for me (e.g. a mix), please post them here and I will give them a try.

Let’s have some fun,

Bolk

2

So let’s start reporting

Time: 1400-1700

Location: City center / shops

Application: 2 drops a314 to neck and jaw + 3 sprays CTTM2 around neck

I went shopping for an electric razor. Came home with 5 dress shirts, 3 ties and 7 pairs of socks. Awesome :slight_smile:

I tried to spot some form of IOI’s everywhere. Unfortunately there were none to be seen. I did have a 20 minute conversation with an older (60+) saleslady who wouldn’t let me go and turned the entire shop inside out to look for an item I asked about. I another shop and elder couple was stopped by me so I could check the color of a tie against the man’s jacket color. They ate me up and the woman decided to check 10+ different ties on me. I always have that, older people seem to love me. They always think I am so well spoken and charming or something. Women my age tho, they won’t look me in the eye. I am trying, but it is like I am ghosting. And it is not a mone OD, because I’ve been ghosting since forever.

Self effects of the a314: confident outlook and confident posture. I hope this stays with me.

3

Update

I was invited to a birthday party friday night. On of my mates (Stephan) has a new GF and she celebrated her 21st birthday. I did not meet her or any of her friends yet, so I could make a fresh impression. Venue was a bungalow in the middle of nowhere. I am always designated driver, so no alcohol for me.

Mone signature:
30mcg A1 + 30mcg p83 + 2 drops A314 (+couple sprays of IS applied later)

As you can see there is no androstenone in the mix. I am getting the feeling that -enone is something that does not work for me. I have never gotten an IOI from using it and there is no confidence boost (which a314 does give me). I have Ammo and IJ and I really would like to use those to attract girls but either I don’t know how to be congruent or it does’t agree with my body. I was thinking maybe I OD on the slightest mcg of -enone. That would mean my produces plenty of it. But if that would be the case, why did I never get a sexual IOI in my life then?

Me and my mate Peter arrived around 10pm. When we entered I decided to be a bit loud and take up space like an attractive and confident guy would do. Also I have become very aware of body language. I stand straight, never cross my arms or legs, sometimes lean casually against stuff and most important, I look people in the eyes (preferably the left eye when talking to girls). I think that kinda worked. There was a group of so called ‘internationals’. These were students from Greece, Cyprus, Egypt, Poland and Georgia. There was a guy from Cyprus whose name is Socrates, how friggin cool is that name? He also looked like a Spartan from the movie 300. Very cool guy.

First I kinda opened an Egyptian girl. We had a nice conversation while doing a smoke outside. I did not make an ass out of myself. I looked her in the eye when she talked and she smiled a lot. But she was also constantly giving attention to her phone, I guess she was texting. Bolkie vs. Phone 0-1.

Next up was a nice girl. Dutch, blonde, very tall and sweet. She told me she is in training to be a surgeon. We had a nice talk, but there were no overt IOI’s.
I told her I will make sure I need a tetanus shot soon and I would go to her to give it to me. She said she has to inject it in my butt. I said I would like that !

Later a girl arrived at the party alone. I thought “holy shit, there is my dream woman”. I opened her and we talked for over an hour. We lauged a lot. I think I did well. Only one problem, she told me about her fantastic boyfriend after like 15 minutes. Just my luck. Anyway, I kept practicing talking to a hot girl without pressure.

I think I need to enlarge my social circle even more so I can go to more parties like this. Nightclubs don’t work for me. The environment is to loud, I cannot understand a word that is said to me. Also I am constantly outclassed by the bigger and more extrovert dudes everywhere in a club. Special Forces choose their own place of battle to gain the upper hand. So should I.

I don’t know if the mones worked for me. What does an A1 or p83 hit look like?

Whenever I go out nowadays I make sure I have at least 2 drops of a314 on me. That stuff just brings out a better version of myself.

I am going to try out an IJ OD this week. Four sprays should do it I guess. I am not afraid of aggression, I am too diplomatic for that. I just need to find out what I am doing wrong with the -enone. If this is the prime attraction mone, I am not giving up on it without a fight.

4

Hi Bolkie. You have my attention. It’s interesting that you are having this problem. From what I understand this part of the world is pretty free and understanding about sex and intimacy.

So first off, is there anything that you aren’t telling us? What does your voice sound like?

It sounds like you are a really nice guy, and that may actually be a problem. Let me give you some examples.

Why did you let her? If a chick isn’t paying you attention, then she is doing some serious signaling that she’s not interested. You may have made a mistake on your approach. How far along into the convo did she start doing this, or was she already doing it? You can do a couple of things if a chick starts playing with her phone. Get her to give you the phone. Say you want to check it out or something. Engage her in some psych game. These bring her into your world. Or ignore her. Never allow it.

Could have been a test. You should have said something else. Maybe something like “Ha! You just want to see my butt” I don’t know something that sounds less needy and shows that you can handle her and that you are an object of sexual value.

What did you say when she brought up her boyfriend? What was the context? Did she feel the need to let you know?

I honestly wonder if you aren’t getting invitations to escalate and you are missing them. One of the things that I used to do is to assume everything was an IOI and escalate smoothly until I found resistance. Let me tell you why. If you miss an opportunity women view it as you being weak or worse incompetent. It lowers your status.

Keep socializing with the guys. Learn to lead them. If you lead the guys you gain more respect with the women. You need to make guys think you are the coolest thing. Let them increase your value.

5

Thanks, I appreciate that. And yes I live in a very liberal country when it comes to sex and stuff like that.

I think I explained a lot about my ‘situation’, but your question makes me start to think. Maybe I need to tell even more. I am pretty anonymous on a forum like this so why not? Around two years ago I was doing some searches on the internet to figure out if there were others guys like me and if maybe they had solutions. I stumbled across a condition called ‘Love Shyness’. There was a six question test somewhere on a website and I scored 6 out of 6. So apparently I am Love Shy. Nowadays there is even an Wikipedia article about it:
Love-shyness - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
These are two website digging deeper into the matter and the first one even has a large forum:
Love-shy.com: Support for Love-shys, Incels, and the otherwise dating-challenged – Main
The Love-Shy Survival Guide

At first I frequently looked on the forum. But I realized there are never any solutions offered. It is just a huge pool of self-pity. Sometimes members commit suicide ( yes, this shit hurts that much) and that is not something that is very constructive for getting me out of this mess. I rather fight.
So yes, apparantly I am love shy and it sucks balls. If only I could get an IOI on day, then I would have stuff to work with.

My voice. I try to talk out of my chest. But sometimes I start talking to fast and out of my throath. I know this signals insecurity and neediness, so whenever I am selfconscious of this I immediately correct it.

Why did you let her? If a chick isn’t paying you attention, then she is doing some serious signaling that she’s not interested. You may have made a mistake on your approach. How far along into the convo did she start doing this, or was she already doing it? You can do a couple of things if a chick starts playing with her phone. Get her to give you the phone. Say you want to check it out or something. Engage her in some psych game. These bring her into your world. Or ignore her. Never allow it.

I don’t really know if it was an approach. She came outside and stood besides me. And she was already texting or whatever she was doing. What you say about handling her makes sense. I need to learn to have the assertiveness to do that stuff.

I know this is not good. But people were standing around us and listening to our conversation. I am too much of a gentleman (the wrong kind). So at that moment I am inhibited to say such things.

We talked about the crappy roads leading to the place. She told me she had to go to a certain city later. I told her " cool I live there, what about you?" She said she had to go there because her bf lives there.

I know man. It sounds too weird. Statistically impossible to never have had an IOI. Can someone be dyslectic, but now with words but interactions? I know other guys are receiving IOI’s before they realize it themselves. I am not autistic/Asperger’s. I can read people, I know there intentions. I can sell stuff, present, discuss etc.. There is just never a woman that gives me an IOI.

I will !

6

Bolkie, I think maybe there is some confusion going on. First of all thank you for sharing. I hate to burst your bubble sir but I think your frame is set wrong. Let’s reset that for a moment. I want you to relax as you read this and just kind of open your mind up to the possibilities of what might be going on here. You are ok with me helping you see some thing aren’t you? I’m not trying to change your mind or anything I just see some things that I’m sure you will also see when I point them out to you. I hope you hear me clearly. I don’t want you to feel that I don’t understand you. So we are going to step back, chill out, and take a look at this.

So first I want you to know that I can understand your feelings and situation. Can you believe that? I’m sure you do feel some immense pain about what you are having to deal with. I too have had a point in my life where I seemed to have fallen out of sight from every woman in the world. It’s kind of hard to believe now though you know? When you look back it really wasn’t the way you think that it was. For me, and maybe for you too, when you look back on the situation there were some things that were missed. And when I really think about it things were going better than you originally thought. When you think about it right now, you can feel what I’m saying right? Am I being clear? I read through the wiki entry and I’m having a hard time believing that you fit into this based on your journal and other posts that I have read. You don’t really fit into this category. It’s possible that you may be overlooking a few things. That is possible right?

Ok so I look forward to hearing more about your test, but since is the only one that you have shared so far, let me tell you how I feel about it.

So first of all I think you really needed a strong social for the party that you went to. I think you need to try wearing CTTM more often. The mix that you wore would have come across as the strong LTR type that is comfortable to be around. However without a social you may have been a bit too much. Is it possible that you came across as already having a girlfriend? Or maybe that they weren’t good enough. Chicks are pretty good at hiding IOI’s so I want to try to point some out. Can you keep an open mind on this? On the possibilities?

OK so with the Egyptian girl and the phone. She was texting and came out and stood next to you. The way you saw it was that she was more interested in her phone then you. But what if you saw it wrong. What if you were making her nervous and she was trying to approach you? Phones are often used as props to hide behavior or to feel more secure. Did she have any reason to stand near you? When she was texting, were her feet towards you or the door? You need to try hard and think about these things, because you need to watch for them from now on. Is it possible that her standing near you was an IOI? It’s possible right? Bolkie, smiling a lot is an IOI.

The surgeon chick said she would give you a shot in the butt. BTW I think this was a good set up on your part. I don’t think I have ever received a tetanus shot in the butt. Bolkie I’m going to go with an IOI here too. I think you should go along with me.

Dream girl. OK so the boyfriend bit. Believe it or not, this is a possible IOI if you take the challenge the right way. The truth is sometimes girls want to test you. See how you react to stuff like that. Are you interested in her or her boyfriend? She talked to you for over an hour. You laughed a lot.

Isn’t it possible that you are just looking at these wrong? have you tested MX390 yet?

7

I really hope that I am overlooking things like IOI’s, because that would mean they are there at least. Then I have something to work with and on. When that problem lies with me, instead of with the outside world, action can be taken.

When you have advice for me, please do not hold back, because you think you might hurt my feelings. I can take a hit or two nowadays. And protecting my feelings all my life is probably what got me in this mess.

Ok so the mix could have been too high in the dependable guy department? I get your point. I have always been a dependable guy. People come to me for solutions and advice. My friends call me Bolkipedia sometimes, cause I have a very broad knowledge of many things. Now I come to think of it, do I really need to push this over the top using extra androsterone? This could make me bore the crap out of people. I would rather have the alpha-ness out of -enone then out of -erone. So yes -nols, -none and TAA, could be what I was overlooking. Problem is I started to develop the feeling that -enone wasn’t working for me. I might just be seriously blind to how it works.

Her feet were towards me. She was also standing very close to me. But I explained that fact to myself by knowing that people from Africa need less personal space then people from Western Europe and North America (I studied body language intensely last two weeks).

Now I think back about this girl. She was nice and smiling to everybody that night. This might just be her character. I will try to chat her up a bit on facebook this week.

I talked to the birthday girl today. I told her about Dream Girl. According to her she really is in a very serious relationship. Dream Girl told me about a certain bar in Rotterdam she visits every thursday night. Maybe I should go one time.

Yes it is possible. Maybe I just need to try and escalate once just for the sake of it. What is the worst thing that can happen?

Since I became a member of this community there have been two products I bought hoping they would be the Holy Grail for me.

The first one is IJ. I tried this once when I took a girl out to dinner. I am in a severe friend zone with her and heavily in love. Everytime I see her I need to recuperate emotionally for a couple of days. So I try not to see her anymore. But sometimes I cannot restrain myself. Anyway, I used IJ then, but there were no IOI’s or anything. She treated me like she always does, like a toy. So maybe I somehow gave up on IJ after that one try. I need to try this on women I meet for the first time, so thay cannot already have the impression I am a loser with women. I have read all IJ threads on the forum three times and I still do not know how to properly make us of it. But I just need to try and find out, don’t I ?

The second product is mx297. But that was out of stock so I bought mx390. I tried this once in a bar/dancing environment. But I do not know how to behave myself there (not drinking doesn’t help). I resort to wallflowering fast and hard. And there is also some small voice in my head that tells me I don’t want to meet women in a bar anyway. So that works against me in such a spot also. I would like to meet someone in everyday life, or is that too much of a romantic view of things? For 297/390 I also read every thread there is on the forum.

So IJ and mx390, I would sacrifice my left nut if I could make these work for me. Can these be used as a combo?

8

A1 sometimes comes across without the wearer knowing it effects. Often ladies won’t necessary tell you how they feel even though it stirring up feelings of affection and ease. It has been described as having bonding and crush effect and women tend to be drawn to those feelings.

9

Ofcourse I am aiming for exactly those effects. Let’s hope it works.

Allright next week(s) I intend to know exactly if IJ and mx390 might work for me. Tomorrow I have half a day at university, and I will got with 2/3 sprays of mx390. So you can expect a report on that. I understand that mx’s are supposed to be used as a standalone. So I guess no a314 or A1 are allowed. Wish me luck. :slight_smile:

10

Bolkie, review what I highlighted in blue.
Why did I do that?
Listen, when I read your post on the Birthday Outing, I wrote my reply independent of the dicussion you had with Bro J., because I wanted to make
seperate independent just focusing on you.

Now as I went to ready J’s input I see he and shared similiar thougts and I’am going to center in on the subject of “Indictator of Interests.”

I currently reading a book titled 'LAUGHTER **** A Scientific Investigation’ Think about it laughter and smiling, think about during the course of the day. Its a sound that can express emotions from deep within.
**
It can be used to bring two people together (bond) ‘our brains has a masterful appreciation of the lawful relations between cues and response, but these rules are hidden from our conscious awareness.’

Remember it’s not just IOI, if a female for example finds us interesting, that’s also weighs alot. Keep word here is ‘interest.’ Bolkie I will 'hare to say’… you are getting Indicators of Interests.:slight_smile:

11

Bolkie, please review again what I highlighted in blue. And ask why MVKBUGATTI wants me to do that again? And please take a moment to reflect back to those moments.

Bolkie, now listen carefully, when I wrote you yesterday, I did so independently of the discussion(s) you had with Josie Wilder. To ensure that I would provide an fresh, unambiguous opinionated and independent viewpoint.

Now, this morning I went back to read the discussions between you and Josie Wilder**.** And I have to say, I also share some parallel thoughts to his.

Let me add this: I’m currently reading a " ‘LAUGHTER* A Scientific Investigation’** Think about it laughter and smiling, think back during the course of today to those moments of laughter and smiles that you saw.*At times laughter is a sound that can express emotions from deep within. It can be used to bring two people together (bond) ‘our brains has a masterful appreciation of the lawful relations between cues and response, but these rules are hidden from our conscious awareness.’"

Remember it’s not just IOI, Did any of those women lady find you interesting? I think so. Interesting. That’s also weighs alot. Key word…‘interest.’

Bolkie I will ‘dare to say’… you are getting Indicators of Interests. :slight_smile:

I feel perhaps you aren’t reading the defense - a term use in American football – and thereby you’re not seeing the patterns of behavior coming from ladies that signals you to escalate. Honestly I think you are getting invitations to escalate; however, you aren’t reading the ‘Ds’ like you should.

12

Allright, I think I know what you are getting at. I am getting IOI’s but not the ones I am looking for. I have been blind to these types op IOI’s…or at least I hope so :stuck_out_tongue: I can make people laugh, it’s not hard. I just always thought this was getting me nowhere. And because I never escalate, they start to view me as incompetent in the actual courtship ritual…and then they lose interest?

So in short, I can sense they find me interesting to talk to, but I never interpreted this as attraction towards me. If only I could rent some kind of IOI-simulator by the hour and learn :smiley:

The other day I was reading an ebook about kino/escalation. The writer said it is a very good idea to just escalate straight away, without waiting for an IOI. The reasoning behind this is that only the most confident of guys will do this, instantly qualifying them as attractive males. What is your opinion on this?

13

I have some feedback for you my friend. I’ll do my best to add it tonight or soon there after, just as quick as the phones go off for the day. Can’t write much with them ringing every eight seconds :roll_eyes:.

14

MKV, thank you for providing feedback.

Steve, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.

Bolkie, you are right. By not escalating when opportunities arrive, you do lose attractiveness. You seem like you are indecisive or don’t take risk or just don’t get it. There is an exception to this rule in which you do recognize opportunities and don’t escalate on purpose but tease instead to get a woman to chase you. That is a little more complicated. I believe you should always escalate while in attraction phase until you move to comfort. Very simply, you should assume that every girl you meet is interested, because they are. You are in control and you get to choose who you want.

15

It seems I have to escalate just for the sake of escalating. It is not like I am living the life I wish to achieve without the required boldness. Why are these women giving me such a hard time anyway? Am I not friggin awesome?

Thirty minutes ago I told the girl I am sickly in love with (hardcore friend zone, ad she knows it) that it is better if we never speak or see each other again. I explained the situation is giving me too much of a heartache and is holding me back in so many aspects of becoming a man. Fuck her. I wished her the best of luck with those assholes see is seeing all the time. She deserves better, but above all, I deserve better. Let’s just hope she will never come running to me when of those quys puts her out of rotation after making her pegnant. Not my problem.

I am leaving for university in an hour. I am planning to go with a single spray of IJ today. But I am in some kind of pissed of mood right now, so I will spray it when I arrive there. I need to drive over the busiest highway in the country first and I figure I need a clear head for that. I already sprayed some cops on me. Because I can. I promise I’ll report later on the IJ.

No more neediness, supplication, DLV etc.. that shit doesn’t work.

Wish me luck.

16

No luck needed sir. Welcome to Alphaness.

17

I’m back from the university and I promised to report:

1 spray IJ, 2 sprays ISx2

Location: University campus and class room

Time 1400-1800

Today I already had the ‘I don’t give a damn about what everyone thinks about me’ mindset going before I left home. I applied the mones in the car after I parked. I’ve read alot of threads about IJ and the general consensus is that IJ needs to be buffered with TAA, so that is where the IS comes in.

At the moment I have the ‘I haven’t shaved in five days and I don’t care’ look. Most girls I ask about the scruffy look say it beats the clean shaven look. I am a ‘dark’ type of guy, so I use it often. I hate shaving anyway. It starting to become a very cold autumn here, and together with my new cool coat, I have the impression that I look like a million bucks. In dutch we have a saying: “It’s the clothes that make the man”. It’s true.

So I proceeded onto the campus. I could clearly smell the -none emanating from me. I decided to go for a smoke right away. Two girls were smoking on the spot I normally use. I always have a lighter on me, but I ask women for a light nowadays. Gives me an opportunity to expose them to my phero cloud and I guess it is a form of opening. The one with the lighter was moving to supply the fire to the other one. But in the middle of moving her arm, she went for me first. The other one said something like “what the..”. I replied: Yeah me first". Kind funny I think. They left straight away, moving to a class I guess.

Later I was one a smoking break. There was a 9 outside. I asked her for a light. Ofcourse she gave it to me and she pulled out her phone. NO more phone tricks on me ! I noticed the screen of her phone was cracked, so I asked her wtf had happened. I got the story. Couple minutes later a friend of her walked by and she went with her, also to a class I guess. I did not notice any IOI’s per se, but at least I talked to women. Two months ago that would not have happened. Also no visual IOI’s when I was chilling in a coffee/sandwich bar area. But we have established that I am blind to those kind of IOI’s anyway.

In class I was top dog. It was the sixth week of this class. All the participants are new to me. Usually I have a314 on me. So nobody in there is wondering why I am the one doing all the talking anyway. I also talked to a guy in the class, good guy and my smoking buddy the last weeks. He told me some very personal stuff about him being ill (very very serious mental disorder) a long time ago, almost ruining his life. Not something you would blab out to the Average Joe right?

It seems I can hold the -none. No sexual IOI’s, but there was also the IS. I am going to try 2 sprays of IJ soon. Do not know where to yet. I am not Mother Theresa, so if someone finds it necessary to be bothered by my high -none pherocloud, that is their problem, not mine.

P.S. Last post I told about ‘breaking’ with the LJBF girl. I feel kinda liberated by this. Like I have a large piece of free RAM memory back in my head, that can be used for more important stuff. I hope this feeling lasts a while and more important, that I not contact her anytime soon on a weird pathetic impulse.

Thanks guys for all the wise words en support.

18

interesting report. Are you sure you didn’t overdose on the none? Please do report on the IJ x 2 experience!

19

Thanks. How can anyone be sure he is experiencing a -none OD ? Agressive behaviour? Did not encounter it. Ghosting? Not more or less then usual I think. I am 28 years old, pretty fit, half euro and half south-asian. I can smell -enone when I have it on, but I also know I have it on, so I am not objective in smelling it. I cannot think of a way to know if I was OD’ing or not. If I start using the sweet spot method, will I not encounter sexual IOI’s before encountering negative reactions? I am going to up the IJ spray count. I am not really afraid of negative or agressive reactions. I defuse stuff like that really fast.

20

Interesting…

Hey Bolkie how old are the girls that you are coming in contact with? Oh and before going to 2 sprays of IJ try 1 spray of IJ, 2 sprays of IS, and 2 sprays of IO. Drop the cops.
The next day try 1 spray of IJ, 2 sprays of IS, 2 sprays of IO, and 1 spray of IH.

Do you ever tell jokes or funny stories? When the 9 told you her story about her phone, what did you say? Were you empathetic at all? Did you get her to give you the phone?

I don’t think you are being ghosted, but something is definitely going on with you and enone. From what I am reading you are giving off some intimidation. I wish I could see the interaction when they take their phones out. Were her feet pointing towards you or away from you? How long was the convo?

BTW have you read up on mones and smoking?